Don't Read ME- a 100% broken english BLOG

when reality hits....

2012-02-12T13:52:00.002+08:00

when my destiny is decided by what i'll get tomorrow....plans in life is always changing...either caused by things around you or even PEOPLE around you......

times when you feel like there's no one to support you and all they gave was just some remarks that you gotta ensure that it WONT bring you down.....

times that you gotta make your decision ensuring that you wont regret making and you'll be the one who say "I TOLD YOU SO" instead of others .....

either ways, just stay strong......

ive failed half of the papers that i sat before.....

ive FAILED ALL OF IT BEFORE......

and most importantly, ive PASSED ALL OF IT BEFORE.....

ive went through all three types of triumphs and defeats...surely im gonna handle it well of what im about to receive....

yes...ive been worried about it...ive been thinking about my results A LOT......ive been trying to get the happiness out of me that ive got when i knew that ive passed ALL my papers the previous sitting...the feeling still lingers within me......all becausei know, things wont always sail smoothly....

fail or pass....there are decisions to be made....decisions that im gonna make MYSELF.....to be honest, it's not my results that im worried about....it's the decision that im about to make.....just pray hard for me k???

turn over a new leaf....

2012-02-03T10:07:00.002+08:00

most of the time we spend time judging imperfections of others till we missed out their perfections.....
we're too particular about what they did wrong.......
no one ever cared about what they did right....
once smthing wrong is done, it became a big issue.....
even bigger than any right things done............

anyhow..i'll just do my part and you do yours......it's just a start of somthing new.....sometimes i just wish that you could stop bringing back the past and used it as a topic in everything....you had never tried stopping for a moment to see how things had changed...you never gave yourself or any of us the chance to change.....because all along your mentality is that that we'll NEVER change.....

the way you think can really affect the way you act....

a song shared....

2012-02-01T12:50:00.002+08:00

sharing too much songs with a person isnt really a good thing....but that's what ive been doing all along....when ive discovered a song that i really like, i'll go share it around with all my closest friends, with my bro and sis.......sharing as in not POSTING in FACEBOOK =.= but it's more like personally msg them and ask them to listen to it......

once i get addicted to a song, i kept replaying it over and over again and get excited over it...as in REALLLY excited =.= but once that friendship/relationship turned sour/bitter, my love towards that song will NEVER fade.....in fact, it just kept reminding me of a particular person, breaks my heart a lil and that annoying feeling lingers within me for idontknowhowlong.....u know, that feeling that make ur heart skips a beat.....im sure many of you had faced the same thing too.....

still, i couldnt throw away this bad habit of mine.....i'll still share songs around....but there are just certain songs, i keep to myself cuz i dont want anyone to ruin it....however there are songs that ive never shared with any1, but which'll still reminds me of pple around me =.= LOL i dont know whtr being attached with music and lyrics is a good thing or not, but all i know is that im thankful that im born to be able to listen (aka NOT DEAF).so...THANK GOD FOR THAT, AND THANK GOD FOR ALL WONDERFUL MUSICIANS CREATED.

this thought just came to me all of sudden =.= lol (about me not born deaf). i can NEVER imagine what i'll be like, born deaf....what will heal me when im feeling sad, down, hurt, disappointed, regret etc???i wont be able to play my guitar, piano or violin that'll be able to make me feel better...i wont have the thrill when i get the tune/chords right when i play them...i wont have the thrill of composing a song....i wont be able to close my eyes just to listen to the lyrics of songs that'll heal me.....i wont be able to keep replaying a song just to listen to the background music (YES I DO THAT).

being in love with music, there's always sincerity in loving it.....there's no way you'll hide ur feelings loving any certain kind of music.....there'll only be 2 answers: YES and NO. when in real life, ure always confused with yourself.....you cant really differentiate between hate or disappointed....angry or hurt etc. Sometimes you'll be so extra careful that you missed out the person who cared for you the most....you're always cautious, you dont want to make the wrong choice/decision because you're scared......feelings that u wont admit because you were scared(again), and back to the point of trying to be cautious....you tried not to care but you just cant stop caring...when you cared, u feel like an idiot =.= LOL happened to most of us i know haha so the point is, LIFE is complicated because we made it complicated but it's still complicated right??? =.= aishhhh decisionsssssss @.@ ok.im overthinking AGAIN =.= and THIS is definately OUT OF TOPIC LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL creating a balance in life is just so hard T.T

a feeling....

2012-02-01T11:36:00.002+08:00

those are the most beautiful thing on earth.....as you all know that ive a thing with maples but you may not know that i love dandelions too....i think it was all because of the book written by cecelia ahern "If you can see me now". It was a really touching story that i cried at the ending.......my sis love dandelions too....same reason as mine, all thanks to that book :) we purposely bought a wallpaper of a dandelion and stuck it on our bedroom wall.....

maples and dandelions gave a good combination dont you think?? it gives you the feeling, the sense of happiness, calmness, sadness all at the same time...i just dont know how to describe it....but i hope you get what i meant.....

i would really love to travel to a place with both maples and dandelions......it would be a great scene..i think i can stay at the place for one whole friggin year LOL

we all may have mixed emotions at times and you may have no one to talk to....feelings may be confusing and it'll turn into frustrations.....times that you may feel like crying for no damn reason....you feel a lil bit disappointed....but there's always something that'll give u a peace of mind once again.....and these were mine....

LOL i dont want to sound so depressing now =.= it's like the friggin first day of february.....which means, a closer date to my results =.= IM PREPARED FOR THE WORST! BRING IT ON!! WHOOOTSSS LOL BTW, PLANNING FOR A TRIP WIT MY SIS D :D TEEEHEEE GOSHH I JUST LOVE TRAVELLLLLINNGGGGGGGG gonna save up my salaries, so u guys can shut up about the expenses that i'll soon spend.im a friggin QUEEN, NOT A PRINCESS HAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHA

the guilt....

2012-01-19T14:08:00.002+08:00

i glanced back at the house for one last time...took a walk in the area for a one last time...and i knelt down before them, handing them a mug (cause they dont have cups =.= lol) of tea to them as a sign of gratitude, that's smthing i wont mind doing......hugged them all for the last time and i was gone...........

deleted the rest of the ori post cuz it really look depressing.....i promised myself to not to let myself be the reason to be depressed....i'll just let the title stay as the ori....ive been holding back all my intentions to bombard my anger, frustrations and hatred thru online sites (twitter facebook and blogs-probably) cuz it frustrates me when i reread all of them and i bet i'll annoy most of you too LOL ive been spending most of my time worrying about things that are uncertain.....still......no matter how i try shutting my mind frm thinking, more and more stuffs came to me......sleepless nights will be a never ending issue......

anyhow..lets just change the topic from the ori stuffs that i typed, smthing doesnt sound THAT depressing and frustrating.....im composing a song!!!!! just the melody...this is the 3rd song that ive composed so far and i found that the recent one, is definately the best :) and obviously, it's more meaningful.....i had the title in mind, i'll just let you do the guessing LOL you'll get it 100% right if you know me in person.......well....ive composed half of it in Australia and i'm gonna complete it back here in Malaysia....

it's just weird how the melody came to me when i was playing that old piano down the basement in Graham's house......i personally think that the melody sound SAD =.= LOL and ive added a part of my fav song in it......im still trying to figure out how to complete this song wit perfection....anyhow, music is just my way of communicating i guess.........parts of the song represents certain part of my memories and songs that i love, the melody that i like.....but i wont rush in finishing it.....as usual, my way of doing innovative things, i'll just let the idea flow naturally to me....maybe it's a left-hander thing :)

that's all for now!!!!!!! spread the love people!!

everything ended with a smile....

2012-01-01T06:24:00.002+08:00

spending my last day of 2011 in Aussie by helping the Lions in the amusement park....they told me that im efficient :D i wouldnt say that....both of the Lions who were working with me, they were both visually impaired.....but it's really special that im spending my time abroad celebrating my new year with some newly made friends, doing some stuffs which i think it's meaningful....something i thought that it'll add value in my life....

later that night, that place in the dodgem cars section, they played "If this was a movie" BY TAYLORSWIFT. i was standing there listening to the song, eating my ice cream...i was literally SQUEAKING when i heard this song...i was buying ice cream wit Judith, Bob and Hawtung that time....just standing there, realising that it's already the last the day of the year, listening to one of my fav song, just brings back lotsa bittersweet memories......that song really suits the atmosphere that night you know.....getting drown into the song, i cant hear nothing except the song.....the feeling is really indescribable.....it doesnt feel the same with my headphones on LOL and later they play "Ours", "Superman" and "You belong with me" all by taylor swift :)

i was reading back on my blogposts...that's what i'll normally do every year before i blog my last/first post of the year......and summed up everything that had happened and what's gonna happen...next year it would be a very different year....but 2011 had really been a good year for me....i had my 21st bday and i had done lotsa stuffs FOR THE FIRST TIME....and some of it, would actually be my last....i lost some friends, but i gained some.....ive been abroad away from my parents for the first time....dyed my hair for the first time....and..it'll be the end of my study life....my last year in college, with all my sunway friends...it's all truly memorable to....times when i needed someone, they were there for me.....i'll definately missed all the moments with them.....

there's only one MAJOR resolution that i would wanna achieve in 2012......while i was reading back my blogposts, i found a post that i blogged on 28th August 2009....there's this paragraph that i copied from a SMS i received from a friend....

HOW FRIENDSHIP BREAK?

Both friends will think the other is busy,
And will not contact thinking maybe it's disturbing,
As time passes, both will think LET THE OTHER CONTACT,
After that, each will think WHY SHOULD I CONTACT FIRST?
Here, your love will be converted to HATE,
Finally, without contact, the memory becomes weak,
They forget each other,
I don't want to be one of this kind,
So here i am sending a message to you,
to say
My dear friend, Im fine here, please keep in touch

definately ive noticed this happening....to a certain level, im tired of doing all the "keep in touch" things.....when my messages were unreplied and being ignored....it's just annoying...it's like you and your partner, you're putting all your efforts to keep in touch, to hold on to your relationship but sadly, your partner just dont give a damn about it.....to a certain point, i know it's not worth holding on anymore....

this year, i would be really different....im gonna out facing the real world...im not doubting this, but im prepared to face the world......i'll be busy like nobody else....but one thing that im gonna make sure is to keep in touch with EVERYONE who has the effort to keep in touch with me.....it'll be really challenging to keep a balance with my soon-to-be-overly-reload-work and with people who i love.....

i'll continue to be true to myself.......doing things and making decisions that i'll make sure that i wont regret making....i bought this really good book for my bro, and i read it myself......it had taught me lotsa things.....the girl that i am: i OVERTHINK, OVERPLANNED, OVERWORRIED...i'll just tend to over do everything......every lil small piece of stuff in my life is considered BIG to me...because i tend to have the thinking that if those every lil piece of small stuffs isnt resolve, they'll turn BIG.....and it gives me unnecessary worries and pressure and makes me depressed most of the time......being with my host father, we had lotsa chat....things that he said is like my real father...the only difference that i can see that, he takes things seriously but with FUN at the same time....but my real dad, takes things really seriously all the time.....

he doesnt allow hawtung and i to call him "dad" because he said if we call him "dad", he gotta be very strict and serious with us...he told us that he want us to have fun....one thing i learnt from the book and from my host father, is to see some fun in everything i do.....by choosing something or doing smthing that i wont possibly like, there's always a better side that i can think of.....sorry but im not that type that i can choose what i want/like..my decisions have always been what i NEED.....so DONT YOU EVER TALK ABOUT RESPONSIBILITIES WITH ME OR ANY OF MY SIBLINGS.....

i'll promise myself to NOT to be depressed and i wont let myself to be the reason why im unhappy at times.....so yeah......

had a dream/nightmare before i woke up....but whatever..it doesnt matter to me anymore.....

im ending and starting my new year in Australia....it's a good start :) just last night after giving all the Lions a hug, it all ended wit a smile.....

a few days after christmas...

2011-12-31T06:33:00.003+08:00

it was really hectic as predicted....on boxing day, we went to Graham's parents house..that place was really nice and we (Hawtung and I) made leather belts for our dads!!!!!!!!!! Graham's dad makes leather stuffs and he's really good at them!!! making those belts arnt easy k =.= gotta stamp those patterns on it and the usual clever me, figured out a design that needs so much stamping and the patterns i chose was so small that i gotta stamped the whole belt and u know how long the belt my dad needs =.= first u gotta wet the leather and then choose the stamps and stamp it wit a hammer, let it dry, then paint it and put the buckle it. SOUNDS SIMPLE but the stamping takes up most of my time LOL hawtung was stamping all Australian animals on it and had "Made in Australia" words stamped in front and Graham kept teasing him about it LOL

Graham's daughter and sons were back and i was having the time of my life with them......the first few days when i met them it was kinda awkward when they were all reunited with the family and were so excited to meet each other LOL but days after i got to know them better and they were all very nice people and fun to be with just like their parents :) We showed them our belts and they were like "WHOAAAAAAAAAAA this can actually go around our (ALEX AND ADRIAN + BRAYDON). well...mine fit Adrian and Alex but hawtung's ACTUALLY FITTED ALEX ADRIAN AND BRAYDON LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLL i have a pic of them having the belts around them HAHAHAHA it'll all be uploaded in FACEBOOK. BUT I HAD A HARD TIME UPLOADING PICS USING MY DAD'S NOTEBOOK CUZ EVERYTIME WHEN I TRIED UPLOADING, IT GO DISCONNECTED =.= I DUNNO WHYYY. so i'll have to use their PCs. but i'll just finish resizing them first before uploading =.=

Graham and Judith has really sweet and adorable grandchildren...there's Braydon, 10, Tara, 5 and baby Gabrielle 5 months old!!!! i had a really great time playing with these kids LOL especially lil Tara :) Braydon is the more quiet type but he's a really sweet kid....2 days when the family had reunited we had more family days, they opened up their Christmas presents and i just watched their joy on their face. baby Gabrielle is always smiling and has big brown eyes and he's really chubby!!!!!!!!!!! i was cuddling him the first day when i saw him and he was wearing this superman outfit!!! LOLLLL SOOOO ADORABLEEEEEEE

the day after Louise ( Graham and Judith's daughter) get back, we all went for water skiing again.....the girls water-tubed (plus hawtung too) and the guys (Adrian and Greg) WATER SKIIED. THEY LOOKED AWEESOMEEE SKIING!!! IT WAS SOOOO COOL lol i know i'll sucked at it but i would wanna try skiing after Graham fixed up his speed boat LOL the outing this time was more fun cuz there were more laughter and hawtung and i was being pranked =.= i had a video of it LOLLLLLLLLLLL

and we went shoppping...it was fun..was helping Louise out to choose some dresses for her LOL if i dont convert back the Aussie Dollars back to RM, EVERYTHING SEEMED SOOOO CHEAP @.@ LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLL after the shopping we went to a fun fair which costs me $20 (appx RM60+) EXPENSIVE DOUUUUUU @.@ and was going on rides with Tara a few times cuz she was really enjoying it =.= Alex (Adrian's partner) cooked spaghetti for everyone that night but she specially cooked one for me witout meat cuz she juz found out that day that i dont eat beef. So sweet of her righttt :) hahahhaha and then later at night we had a lil game. i had a pic of it. it was kinda fun doing all these family stuffs.....i hadnt had such games with my family for a VERYYYYY VERYYYYYYYYY VERYYYYYYYYYYYY long time cuz every1's so busy......

and the next day we had ice skating. my first time ice skating after the time that i skated wit my bro when we were KIDS =.= so that doesnt count LOLLLLL and I TOTALLY SUCKED AT SKATING HAHAHHAHAHAHAH it took me like dunno how many hours to finally skate properly (WHICH I STILL NEED TO RELY A LIL BIT ON THE WALL =.=) and Mr Greg kept teasing me that I LOVE THE WALL A LOT =.= LOLLLLLLLLLLL Adrian, Alex and Louise + Hawtung were all so kind trying to teach me how to skate....Adrian and Alex took me on my hand and drag me away frm the wall to skate wit them in the middle ring...it was fun but i just keep screaming =.= HAAHHHHHAHAHA

and then we went to see Louise horses Ruby and helped her feed her.. IT WAS AWEEEEEEEEESOMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE...... and at night we went to the Rodeo show. that place was really some sort of country thing where you can see cowboys and cowgirls everywhere...and so that night we were required to wear jeans and gotta be above 18 to enter.......the show was really and eye-opening cuz ive never seen sports in Msia (except on TV). The bull rides were so horrifying @.@ and i saw one that the bull was running over the rider!! ive videoed it up i think. will be uploading it SOON :) the night was SICK LOL well..just some quick updates. lazy wanna put pics here d =.= soooo much to do. i'll just upload all in FACEBOOK HAAHAHAAHAHH

a reindog and Tamsyn :)

2011-12-27T07:49:00.004+08:00

it was christmas......my first christmas in Aussie :) woke up early.....and when i had finished changing Graham knocked on my door and asked me to bring my camera along with me...i was like "HUHHHHH"?? @.@ he has this thingy on his hand that'll have water splurting out of it when you press it LOL and he told me that it's a tradition that who woke up later will be sprayed with water =.= HAHAHHA POOR HAWTUNG LOLLLL but i didnt take a pic of it cuz it was too fast LOL

so we had our breakfast and chat a lil and we opened up our presents and camwhored LOL it was like a lazy day and after that every1 went for a nap and i was there, EDITING PICS AGAIN @.@ and later in the afternoon, we took off to Yeppoon, to Graham's cousin's house i think LOL Graham's parents stayed in that area too :)

well.....i kinda enjoyed myself there that evening/night.....their family is really welcoming and i have a new lil friend :) i'll narrate frm pics again LOL

That's the the table setting for our breakfast LOL it's actually a plastic plate. they dont want to do any dish washing that day LOL and that thing that looked like a sweet, it's called BON BON a.k.a. christmas craker LOL you pull the ends and it will pop and you have those paper crowns and there's a lil gift in it and there a riddle/joke thing (that most of them will make u =.= after reading it LOLLLLLLLLLLLL) AND I GOT A TAPE MEASURE AS THE GIFFT =.=

christmas breakfast LOLLLLLLLL and Graham is trying to gimme bunny ears HAHHHAHAAHAHAH you can still see a lil of his finger on my head LOL and yeah we're all wearing the crowns LOLLLLLLLLL
TAKEN ON THE WAY TO YEPPOON :D although it's just a dry tree, but i still like it =.= hahahahahahaha
we stopped at the beach for a moment, had a lil moment with the sea breeze and camwhored a lil :D
when i reached there, I SAW THIS DOGGIE HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! cant stop myself frm patting him!!!!! HHAHAHAHAAHHAH it's sooo frigging adorableeeeeeee.......i forgot when's my last time patting a dog......when i reached there, had a hand shake wit everyone and tried rmb all of their names =.= but most of name that i rmbed is Graham's sis, Robin and her husband Darren and the KIDS =.= HAHAHAHAHHA among some of them is Bradley, Riley and Tamsyn :) We had a lil game of basketball (and i totally sucked at it LOL) and the sun was striking hot then =.=

This, ladies and gentlemen, is Tamsyn :) i didnt quite get her name when we first met cuz i cant really hear it clearly.....she's really nice!! we chatted a lil and i asked her whther she had been to any other countries or not....and she told me and she let me looked at all her photos albums......and only then i saw her name spelt there :) and she asked me wther i would like to see her room or not, and obviously, i said yes HAHAHHAHAHHHAHA and i WOW-ed as i see all her MEDALS AND TROPHIES =.= THIS GIRL HERE, IS AN ATHELETE!!!!! she had gone to the state level for running and she has trophies for swimming, gymnastics and even JAZZ DANCING T.T she showed me all her christmas presents and i spotted some CDs and some POSTERS IN HER ROOM, TAYLORSWIFT :D HHAHAHAHAHAH SHE LIKES TAYLOR SWIFT TOO!!!!!!!!!!!! LOLOLOLOLOLOLLOL she's quite a darling :)
that's Bradley at the back, Tamsyn's bro and her lil sis in front :) she's a great big sis....she's kinda mature and SHE IS SMART.... she knows lotsa stuffs..and i even taught her how to count from 1-10 in mandarin and in BM HAHAHAHAHHAH bring around with kids is fun :) i actually sat wit them when i had my dinner LOLLLLLLLLL and one tthing i like about them is that they're not camera shy!!!!!!!! juz after i take out my camera and wanted to take a pic wit Tamsyn, ALL OF THEM came standing besidde/behind me HAAHAAHAAHAHHA they're all so outgoing!!!!!!!!
and this is Bradley's shirt from her mum HAHAHAHHA i wanted to take a pic of it and he wore it straightaway for me!!!!!! lol he's cuteee :D they had Wii as their chrismas present =.= and that night, we all watched RIO LOL so that was how i spent my first christmas in Aussie :D gave them all a hug before i go....i'll miss them :( too bad Tamsyn doesnt have FAACEBOOK LOL i gave her and her mum my card and i saved my email in her IPOD.just hope that one day she will email me =.=

there comes another rainbow...and a cookbook :)

2011-12-26T15:39:00.002+08:00

DAY 7.

less pic and so gonna talk less too LOL the day started wit breakfast and an ice-cream van :D had a lil chat wit the ice-cream vendor and took pics wit her.....that day i helped Judith preparing for Christmas..it was Christmas Eve....we make cookies and all and even went shopping wit her...

bought smthing for Tara (the granddaughter) and Louise (the daughter) and we had a lil walk in the park....and it was raining that day...LOVING IT AND I SAW ANOTHER FULL RAINBOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TOOK A BETTER PIC OF IT :D

i spotted this thing behind their house LOL (YES AFTER SO MANY DAYS =.=) WHEEEEE they made it for Tara to play :)

in the mall, I SPOTTED THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HAHAAHHA JUST CANT HELP SPOTTING TAYLOR EVERYWHERE =.= didnt buy it cuz it was kinda expensive LOL and ive promised myself not to buy anything d T.T but i bought a book for bro there :) it's a really good book...

and i love the TREE, WITH BENCH UNDERNEATH. too bad...it's not maple T.T

A church there.nice aint it??

Cows represents rockhampton....

N ABOVE, IT'S THE FULL RAINBOWWW :) ahhhhh ive blogged less and less LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL mre pics in FB!!!!!!!!!!!!!

after a rain, there comes a rainbow...

2011-12-24T15:27:00.008+08:00

im like 2 blogposts behind =.= this is actually day 6 @.@ just suddenly lost all the energy to blog...the max is just a post PER DAY =.= CANT POSSIBLY BLOG MORE THAN THAT!!!!! AND THE PICS THAT IVE TAKEN AND THE FACT THAT I GOTTA RESIZE EVERYTHING T.T IT'S JUST SO MUCH TO DO...and why am i gonna take all the fuss to do all this???whatever...maybe i'll just cut everything short...ahahhhaha

well..we had a tour in the saleyard....it's a place where they have their cattles bid.....i think i'll just narrate frm the pics =.= makes my work easier and i dont have to talk so much =.=

that's the building of the salesyard....see those red tress there?? nope..not maples T.T cant see any maple trees here....im still gonna search for em..mayb i'll ask the YEs frm different parts of Aussie to hunt it for me :)

this is the arena where they'll have their cattles bid.....there's one breed, the Brahman, they bid it for $300,000!!!!!!!!!!! GO WOW FOR IT.LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
It's just me and the arena hahahhha somehow this place remind me of sm bull fighting arena LOL i know ure thinking the same way too :D
the place where the auctioneers will place the cattles here and bidders will walk through it and see the cattles on display :)
and Judith went to buy some stuffs for her birds..and i saw this pic sticking to the wall.THAT'S A FRIGGIN BIGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG TOADDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD @.@ IT'S SOOOO FRIGGIN DISGUSTING!!!!! LOOK AT IT'S LEGSSSS @.@ EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW I HATE AMPHIBIANS!!!!!!!!AND REPTILES =.= EG: THINGS WITOUT FUR/FEATHERS LOLLLLLLLLLL
just some view there....u could probably get bored with all those sceneries pics i took. BUT CANT HELP IT!!!! i just love taking pics of the surroundings here :D smthing that i wudnt do in Msia =.=
and i kinda like this one LOL it just somehow looked KINDA artistic-ish to meHAHAHAHAH especially thee treeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!! and the grass..and those dramatic clouds LOL
that's the Gracemere Lake if im not wrong. Grace's the name of the founder's wife of Gracemere. and mere means Lake :) a lil history that Judith told me haha
and we had subway for lunch!!!!!!!! turkey and ham :) italian bread YUMMMSSSSS :D
and we went to the zoo later in the evening after our lunch.....see this??? pple, meet Alex :D he's born in the Rockhampton Zoo and he's the youngest!!!!!!!!!!
there...lazy lil Alex :D teeehehehehehehehe i know, it looked different frm the pic =.= it's much more adorable in the pic righhtt??hhahahhhaa
wheeeeeeee i got to pat Alex!!!! but too bad i couldnt cuddle it T.T cuz they told me that they'll get stressed up when pple cuddle them T.T i thought koalas are SUPPOSED to be "cuddle-ish" !!!!!!!! :( nvm. hhahahahahaha
AND WHOOOOOOOOOOOOTTTSSS THOSE BROWN HOPPING MAMMALS OF AUSTRALIA!!!! KANGAROOS!!! :D can only watch them frma distance =.= but i know this photo turned out great righttt?HAHAHHHAHA WHEEE YEAH IM THAT PRO :D WAHHAHHAHHAHAAAAAH
can only watch them frm a distance T.T i would wanna pat em T.T but i heard Judith saying about a place that they have wild kangaroos...hope to find em!!!!!
looking back at me ;) i kinda like their hands LOL AND I LOVE IT WHEN THEY STARTED HOPPING AROUND!!! IT'S JUST SO ADORABLEEEEE :D
inside the aviary.......there werent lotsa birds though LOLLLLLL THAT'S JUDITH :) U MIGHTVE RECOGNIZED HER NOW HAHAHAHAHAA
AND THAT PLACE WAS GONNA RAIN SO SEE THOSE WHITE BIRDS ON THE TREE THERE??? they were just making SOOOOO MUCH NOISE!!! SQUAWWWWKINGGG ALL THE WAYYY!!! they are the ......australia has lotsa nice wild birds.....in msia, pple wud probably keep these as PETS =.= IT'S A PARROT BREED THINGY LOLLLLL
THE BOTANICAL GARDEN. we were running out of time to take a walk in the whole place so we may be coming back here again smtime later :)
and this thing here, it's made frm RUBBISH. it's actually made by a neighbour of ours who lived just a few houses away and according to GRAHAM, HE'S A QUALIFIED ENGINEER!!!! like every once a month, he would collect all the rubbish and made up smting like that along the road......i thought it was nice..doing things that cheer pple and, it's nice to see....how thoughtful right??Judith told me that he used to make A NEMO OUT OF THE RUBBISH, TURTLES ETC :D that's like soooo frigging creative!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
AND THIS IS LIKE THE FIRST RAINBOW I SAW IN AUSTRALIA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FULL RAINBOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I WAS SOOOO EXCITED ABOUT IT WHEN I SEE IT AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH WHO SAY I CANT TAKE A PIC OF IT??!! IT TURNED OUT KINDA NICE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOLLLLLLLLLLL
THAT'S GRAHAM!!!!!!!! HHHHAHAHAAH HE;S COOKING FOR US:D STIR FRY CHICKEN!!!!!!!!!!!
THAT'S OUR DINNER :) SO.THAT'S THE END OF DAY 6!!! we had this really long nice chat with Graham and Judith. talked about LOTSAAAA STUFFSSSS...the conversation goes on the around 2am in the morning == lol

what's your fav colour she asked...

2011-12-24T08:52:00.004+08:00

DAY 5.

We had visitors for thast day…apparently someone’s car broke down on their way to Brisbane from a place I forgot where =.= and so Graham went to get them and brought back their car to fix. It took him for like one whole day and a half of next morning to get it fixed………that man had 2 kids….Heidi and Phoebe =)

Heidi looked adorable before I got to know her more =. =LOLLLLL she just kept wanting my attention…and started grabbing all of my stuffs and wanting to play with everything I have….when I first met her, she asked me “Do you know what my name is?”, I was like no and I asked her what’s her name. and she told me “Im Heidi”. And a few minutes later, she asked me again =.= I answered “Heidi” and she was like, “How did you know that?????” I was like =.= “You told me that just now”LOLLLLLLLLLLLLL and basically she asked me this same question for like 3 times during the day…and then she asked me what’s my fav colour…I told her purple, blue and pink,…and she told me that her fav colour is PINK. And she asked me the SAME QUESTION AGAIN AND TELL ME AGAIN THAT HER FAV COLOUR IS PINK =.= HAHHHHAHAHAHAHA

She follows wherever I go….i played piano, and she kept banging it beside me…I was trying to blog and she kept kacau-ing me =.= I was watching the speak now world tour dvd and she kept talking to me @.@ I was playing guitar with hawtung and she tried wrestling wit him =.= (kicking and punching him LOLLLLLL YUMGONG DOUUUU…HAHAHAHHAHA) I hid my camera and my phone and she kept bugging me to let her play =.= and when I did she started snapping everything..MY GOSSHHHHHHHHHHHH @.@ when judith and I were going out to get some stuffs, she wanted to follow and she kept asking the question WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY. LOL typical kid ehh?? she kinda get on Judith’s nerves………….

Well anyway…after a few hours of trying to ENTERTAIN her, her aunt brought her out cuz she’s HUNGRY and brought her to play in a park and I was so tired that I fell asleep…then…LIONS MEETING AT GRAHAM’S HOUSE. Their lions meeting isn’t that formal like what we had in msia…they don’t wear the lions badge or vest…….i get to know the other lions and gave them the bannerette and some keychains and badges…had a lil short speech…..and since it wasn’t a formal meeting, I kinda end up my speech with “AND THE 3 OF US ARE LEFT HANDERS” HAHAHAHHHAAHAHHA they obviously couldnt see that coming and you know really have to know how my speech end up this way LOL and “3 OF US”= GRAHAM, HAWTUNG AND MYSELF :D haahahhaha and Graham was like “I LIKE THAT ONE, GIMME 5 GIRLLL!!!” and we highed-five LOLOLLLL

Every1 was kinda busy during the day…..hawtung and I played guitar (was kinda tutoring him actually LOL) most of the day and we helped out some house work cuz they were really busy and Judith kinda looked stressed-up and I gave her a hug :D

Later that night I helped them cook dinner and wash up the stuffs…..when everything seemed not that hectic, we wrapped Christmas presents =)

That's lion henry.we exchanged the bannerettes ;)

the lions

heidi took this when i was playing wit phoebe LOL

HEIDI TOOK TIS PIC TOO LOL

THAT'S HEIDI!

AND BABY PHOEBE!!!!!!

THEY'RE SISTERS :) CUTE RIGHTTTT????

enchanting :)

2011-12-23T07:51:00.008+08:00

have been using most of my time to choose the pictures and resizing em for the past few days =.= ive taken LOTSAAA pics LOL and just yesterday a lil girl came over here..well and that delayed my photo editing and uploading thing a lil bit hahaa I’ll leave those details for the next blogpost…..

as usual mornings, we had cereal for breakfast and we headed to the Heritage Village 2day….that place was HUGE and it’s really an ideal place for camwhoring LOL (that explains my hundreds pics taken) . asnd pple in Rockhampton usually held weddings and take wedding pics here =)

half way walking around, I saw this gardener and we had a lil chat with him…..and I asked him to take a pic with me and he reluctantly agreed HAHAHAHAHAH MY BADDDD LOLLLL and we continued walking around, we were in this school building when we saw him and we had a lil chat again… he was telling us about the details of the school building and when we’re finally done, he offered us to take us around for a tour in this yellow vintage car!!!! It was really nice of him….so he was like our tour guide there, explaining the history of each building and the story behind it…..and before we left, I gave him my namecard and a Lions badge and he hesitated to receive em….well….u know me…I kept on handing in those stuffs and tell him that it’s ok to have them as a remembrance of me…..and finally he gave in by asking me whether it’s smthing pricy or not LOL *YAY * HAHAHAHAH

throughout our tour there we kept on bumping into him =.= hahhahahahah just sometimes I feel that meeting people around me is like somehow being “planned”/”arranged” or smthing….it’s just weird how i get to know all of them and thinking about them could smtimes really bring a smile to my face…..during my stay here, I can easily smile to any person in the street and just as I smiled, they’ll wave at me and I’ll wave back, grinning :D whenever you go into a shop, the cashers and grocers will usually have a lil conversation with you…asking things like “How’s your day???” “Are you doing great today??” and when they had done calculating your bill, they’ll just say “Have a nice day”. UNLIKE IN MSIA =.= they’ll just COOLY calculate you bill and when you say “thank you”, they wont even look at you =.= you can just easily talk to them and they’re like always smiling!!!

last year, rockhampton has this really scary flood…Gracemere was totally cut out frm Rockhampton for like 3 weeks I think….. this heritage village was the base for the helicopters and soldiers to land on..it was kinda cool when I think about it..LOL

and so after the ENCHANTING TOUR there (you’ll get to know why im using “ENCHANTING” as my blog title later :D) we went to a big shopping mall in Rockhampton for lunch and we SHOPPED T.T I thought im not gonna buy anything but I think ive spent approx RM500+ there @.@ bought some stuffs for MUM AND MYSELF :D WAHAHAHHAHAAHHAAHHAH well…we were supposed to go for a movie and we’re supposed to watch it with Greg cuz he had 2 days off…but when we reached the mall, he was no where to be seen so we’re planning to watch it smtime later =)

we had a lil card game at night and I had a chat with Judith again that night…..browsing all of hers pics again….im quite surprised that my family is that “homey” type of person just like my parents…..their family bond is stronger than I thought it was…………and my host dad definitely had taught me lotsa stuffs…interpersonal skills and all…and we even had a talk about TAX =.= WELL…U CAN SEE HOW LIFELESS I AM NOW HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA but luckily I could still remember some of my tax knowledge after passing that subject during my fundamental level that ive passed for so long =.= IM SURPRISED THAT I COULD STILL RMB!!HAAHHAAH BUT I HOPE THAT I DIDN’T GIVE HIM SOME OUTDATED INFO ABOUT IT LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL maybe that’s another sign that I should be in the TAX FIELD instead T.T and Australians pay really high taxes…..

well that’s all for today I guess…im 2 blogpost behind =.=

the entrance of the heritage village :)

the garderner that i was telling you about LOL

IT WAS REALLY HUGGEE INSIDE!!

THIS WAS TAKEN INSIDE THE SCHOOL.CANT RESIST PIANO :D AND IT IS STILL WORKING!

THE YELLOW VINTAGE CAR!!!!!!!!!! WE WERE RIDING IN THIS FOR THE TOUR AND WAVING @ PEOPLE OUTSIDE HAHHAHAHHAHA

AND THIS WAS TAKEN INSIDE THAT "VINTAGE" HOSPITAL AND IT WAS KINDA EERIE INSIDE =.= LOL THOSE HUMAN REPLICAS GAVE HAWTUNG A SCARE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!HAHHAHAHHAHAHA HE THOUGHT HE SAW SMTHING INSIDE LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL NOT THIS ONE....BUT IM SHOWING YOU THIS BCUZ OF THE EPIC WORDS WRITTE ABOVE THERE. LET ME SHOW YOU THE ENLARGED VERSION.......

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA PLEASE DO NOT TOUCH MY HEAD!!!!!!!!!! LOLLLL AHHHH YOU KNOW WHAT I DID :D AAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAH

INSIDE THE HOSPITAL :)

IT WAS KINDA NICE INSIDE ACTUALLY.IT REMINDS ME OF A HOLIDAY RESORT/HOTEL INSTEAD OF A HOSPITAL =.= HAHAHAAHAHHA

AND I THOUGHT THIS THING HERE IS LOOKED SCARY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AGREE? LOL

IT'S INSIDE THE NURSE'S ROOM. CAMWHORING :)

AND I SAW THE GUESTBOOK THERE.SO YOU KNOW WHAT I DID :D HAHAHAHHA IF YOU HAPPENED TO GO THERE NEXT TIME, LOOK FOR MY NAME: DATED 21/12/2011 LOL

LOOK AT THE LAST LINE :D AHHAHAHAHAAHAHHA THAT'S THE ONLY THINK THAT I CAN THINK OF!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL <3 THAT KINDA EXPLAINS THE TITLE OF THIS BLOG :D K.I.N.D.A. AAHHAHAH

IN A MILLER :)

:D WHOOOOOSSSSHHHH.CANT STOP ME FRM FOOLING AROUND HAHHAHAHA

AND WE HAVE A DOLL HOUSE THERE.HUNDREDS OF DOLLS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ALL BELONGED TO THIS LADY HERE :) IT'S ALL HER COLECTION. MRE PICS IN FB!

HAD THIS FOR LUNCH:)

AND SOME MCD BERRY THINGY.IT WAS SOOOOOOOOOOO FREAKING NICE!! MADE FRM FRESH BERRIES AND ALL. YUUUMSSSS.... WENT HOPPING AND I BOUGHT......................

ALL THESEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WAHHHAHAHAHHAHAHHA IT'S LIKE MY DREAMS COME TRUE WHEN I SAW THISSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!! I WAS HUNTING FOR THEM AT THE AIRPORT BUT CANT SEEMED TO FIND IT!!!!!!!!!! WAS ACTUALLY SCREAMING INSDIDE WHEN I SAW THIS AND U CAN IMAGINE MY EYES LIGHTED UP HAHAHHAHAHAHHAHA IT WAS PLACED BESIDE KATY PERRY'S PERFUME LOLLLLLLLLLLL BUT DEFINATELY THIS CAUGHT MY ATTENTION MORE!!AHAHHHA IM HAVING IT ON ME NOW :D TEEEEHEEEEEEEE MY WONDERSTUCK PERFUME:) COMES WITH A FREE CLUTCH (AND THEY KINDA LOOKED LIKE MY BAGPACK =.=) AND I BOUGHT THE SPEAK NOW WORLD TOUR DVD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOTSSSSSSSSSSSSSS TAYLORSWIFT IS LOVE.HAAHHAHA NOW EVEN MY HOST FAMILY KNOW THAT I LIKE TAYLORSWIFT A LOT!!!!HAHAHHAHA I SHOWED THEM MY GUITAR PICK :D

A CLOSER VIEW :) WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE IM WONDERSTRUCK BLUSHING ALL THE WAY HOMEEE I'LL SPEND FOREVER WONDERING IF YOU KNEW I WAS ENCHANTED TO MEET YOUUUUU........PLEASE DONT BE IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE ELSE, PLEASE DONT HAVE SOMEBODY WAITING ON YOU...............

that was all for that day....i had my dinner pic but lazy wanna put it here now =.= i'll juz put it in the next blogpost HAHAHHAH WAIT FOR MORE!!!!!! IT'S NOT EASY TRYING TO GET SO DISCIPLINED TO BLOG ON TIME =.= THERE'S JUST TOO MUCH TO BLOG ABOUT!!!!!!!!!! LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

Of yesterdays…….we glide across the Fitzroy River

2011-12-21T16:49:00.005+08:00

Morning was just as usual……had cereals for breakfast and online for a lil while and helped Graham a lil while wit his stuffs…..and then we headed to the supermarket for some ingredients to cook stuffs for the host family……was hunting everywhere for anchovies but we couldnt find them =.= and ended up putting dried shallots instead :) it turned out ok I think….

Well after we reached home…I took a lil nap and haw tung went out to get the boat….and then about half an hour I heard the sound of the engine roaring downstairs and I woke up to see what’s happening……and for like 15minutes, I found myself heading to the Fitzroy River with Graham, Greg and Haw Tung.it only took us at about 15minutes to reach there…

the guys landed the boat to the river when I was busily taking pics of that place LOL IT WAS SPLENDID.so…we were all in the boat..Graham was driving/speeding…with the breeze brushes on my face when the boat was drifting across the river, it was AWESOME  AND THEN……the first victim was haw tung =.= LOL we had this big float with handles that we’re supposed to grab where Graham will be speeding/zig-zagging like mad dragging the big float….so that’s basically our “water skiing”. I wouldn’t wanna try the REAL WATER SKIIING cuz it’s really scary =.= I don’t wanna get hurt when im in Aussie and my arms are having muscle cramps now!!! Well….but if im already an expert in water skiing, I wudnt have mind trying ahhahaha anyway…back to the scene……

Graham was speeding round and round and zig-zagging across the river pulling poor hawtung behind….I guess he was trying to get haw tung get loose of his grip and had himself threw out of the float but he wasn’t ……and so Greg joined in..so there are 2 persons on that float…….Graham was then speeding and speeding and speeeeedingggggggggggg and going round and roundddd and roundddd and rounnddddd and zigggggg-zagggingggggg, leaving me watched in horror 0.0 and he was laughing @.@ LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL in the end the boys cudnt hold on to it any longer and WHAAAMMMMPPPPP they got into the water…..Graham stopped doing it..and THEN, IT WAS MY TURN T.T LOLLLLLLLLLLLL

same thing happened to me hahahah but I was with Greg for my first trial……….IT WAS MAD T.T THE WHOLE “RIDE” WAS MADDD!!!!!!!!ZOOOOOOMINNGGG AND SPEEEDINGGG IN THAT FLOAT WAS @.@ BUT HEYYY IT WAS AWEEEEEEEEEEEESOMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BUT WHAAAMMMMMPPP THERE GOES ME INTO THE WATER LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL when I got back into the float I was like a half-dead goldfish, GASPING FOR AIR AND GRAHAM MIMICKED ME =.= LOLLLLLLLLLLLL WHEN I GOT INTO THE BOAT HE TOLD ME THAT I WAS SHAKING LOL BUT I ARGUED BACK AND SAID THAT IM NOT HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH anyway….haw tung went to have a second ride, SOLO and into the water again and had enough….and it was my turn, didn’t went into the water but dead tired @.@ I guess that Graham was then was being and “angel” for not speeding and zig-zagging so much for me..haahhahahhahaha

We had a lil tour in rockkhampton and went home after that……cooked dinner for them….it was inda hard cuz the utensils and that we were using isn’t much the same as Msia lol I made porridge for them….the reason: there’s no rice cooker and they do not know that we can cook porridge out of rice…so I thought that I could make it for them to try :) had some fried beans/peas (well I dunno how you call that =.= it’s like long beans but its not long beans) HAHHAHAHAHAHA and had salty chicken and veggie soup…haw tung cooked the veggie soup + the salty chicken and I do the rest….it turned out ok I guess but I have a feeling that they are not used to our food HAHHAHAHA after dinner, had a lil chat with Graham and Judith….i was telling em about my house and my parents’ passion in collecting antiques and gardening….and then I was talking about birds with Judith AHAHAHA there’re really lotsa nice colourful wild birds around here…unlike in ipoh/msia where we can only find black/white/brown birds =.= took my shower and later at night, haw tung and I skyped with a friend of ours that we met frm the Youth Exchange :) after the skyping session, I slept like a pig =.= that’s all for day 3 :)

on the way to the fitzroy river :) nice eeehhhh??

ok i know the photos are not in order HAHAHAHAAHAHH this was what i spotted in the supermarket LOL A REINDEER!!! RED METAL ONE.AHAHHAHAHHAHAAHA

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THE FITZROY RIVER :)

TRANSPORTING THE BOAT INTO THE RIVER :)

SERENE AINT IT???LOOKED SOOOOO PEACEEEEFULLLLLLLL!

WHOOTSSSS MY YENGGGG HOST DAD :D HAAAHHAHHA THIS IS GRAHAM!!

JUST GOT UP THE FLOAT.AND THATS GREG :)

BEING PULLED AROUND!!WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

IM HALF DEAD HERE AHHHAHAHAHAHA

SCHOOL OF ARTS :)

ON THE WAY BACK TO GRACEMERE :) NICE RIGHHTT

SO THIS IS THE ROOM THAT IM SLEEPING IN....it's loise's room (their daughter). i'll only get to see her during Christmas :)

i'll upload more pics in fb!!!!!!

cause im flying without wings...

2011-12-19T20:20:00.003+08:00

2nd day abroad......gonna give all my strength to blog this out or else i'll keep having excuses for being LAZY =.= well......2nd day we were spending the whole day at the town of GRACEMERE.....the first day was MAINLY spent in airports and planes =.= it was a really long journey.....had pizza yesterday and it was awesome :)

woke up at around 4am (Malaysia Time) so it was at around 6am here in Rockhampton, Gracemere....had a lil chat with my host mum, scanning through the pics in her PC, getting to know more about her family..they are LOVELY :) hawtung wast awake till it was around 9am (Rockhampton time lol) and then it was his turn to scan through those pics.. and i went for a lil nap in my room again @.@ JET LAGGED.HAHAHAHAHAA

and my host dad drove me out for a lil while cuz he was going to pass smthing to a friend.....but i was too stupid cuz i didnt bring my camera along =.= it was serene.....and everything looked really peaceful here..i love the architecture of the houses....they looked COSY.

jammed almost hald a day with hawtung.HE'S REALLY GOOD AT PLAYING PIANO!!! and he let me hear the song that he composed on his own...and i noticed some smilarities in the song that i composed and he composed LOL the reason: My bro taught him piano and i taught my bro piano.HAHHAHAH SO YOU SEE THE RELATIONSHIP LOL had a duet of Canon in C, which kinda reminds me of VIVIAN VOON.HAHAHAHAHAHAH it's been QUITE long since sm1 "banged" the piano with me :) taught him a lil guitar and piano chord playing. he's quite a fast learner.and owh, did i tell u that he's a lefthander??HAHHAHA WELL.HE IS.HAHHAHAHHHAA and we were on our way planning what to cook for our host family =.= we did the house chores together LOL

in the evenings, we helped our host dad, well im gonna just name him Graham here...cuz typing"HOST DAD" is just too long LOL HOST MUM= JUDITH :) well...Graham's a mechanic and he's also a manufacturer of this electric component thingy.....so in the evenings both of us (Haw Tung and I) were helping him assemble the parts of the electric board.reminds me of my days in high school when we have KEMAHIRAN HIDUP =.= HAHHHAHAHA

and we walked around the neighbourhood, accompanying Judith to buy some groceries.....i love the lil streets and shops around here..it's so, movie-like LOLLLLLL and apparently, there're NO MAPLE TREES HERE T.T :(

my host bro, has the most unique hobby EVER: STONE/JEWEL/DIAMOND CUTTING!!!!! this is like my FIRST TIME encountering sm1 with this hobby @.@ he has this diamond cutting machine that my host parents bought for him as his Chrismas present and he have been having this hobby for 1o years (he was 15 back then....) and he had joined diamond cutting competitions and had won quite a lot of prizes!!! he showed us some of the stones that he cut and SORRY, NO PHOTOS TAKEN CUZ I DONT HAVE A CAMERA WITH ME THAT TIME =.= MAYBE NEXT TIME I'LL ASK HIS PERMISSION TO TAKE PICS FOR YOU GUYS TO SEE HAAHHHHA UNIQUE ENOUGH??:D

Judith made dinner for us and it was awesome :) so..that's how my day kinda ended.....a whole day of activities of what my host family does!!! this pic was taken yesterday, on our way to rockhampton :) met this guy in the plane who sat beside me and we had a really nice chat. i love chatting with strangers now LOL HE'S A TEACHER.and he told us lotsa stuffs about australia and about his life....he's the only son to a single mother and has an adopted bro frm the philippines......things about what he did, his experiences and what inspired him about his job (cuz i asked him that =.= lol).one thing i realized about most Australians is that they are very open..they can just tell you almost about everything, even about their own private lives....unlike ME =.=

sorry my photos are not in order LOL this is today's dinner :D it's aweesomeeee
my host family!!! they're all really really nice...and Graham and Judith are very loving :D Judith told me about how they met and all. they dated after highschool.and they are a lot more details which i think it's inappropriate to disclose here LOL but really, i was WOW-ing when she told me that haha
WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOTSSSS GUESS WHO??HAAHHAHA LIFELIKE, HUMAN AND CHEMICAL-FREE PROTECTOR. REPELS BIRDS AND SMALL ANIMALS.HAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA "CAN ALSO BE HUNG!!!" LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL
JENG JENG JENNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA OWHHHH AND BTW, when Judith was shwing me her pics of her travelling, she always brought this soft-toy along-A LION!!!!! IT WAS SOOOOO FREAKING ADORABLE AND IN EVERY PIC, THERE'S A PIC OF THIS LION. IM GONNA DO THIS TOO!!!NEXT TIME WHEN I TRAVEL, IM GONNA CARRY A REPLICA OF AN OWLLLLLLLLLLLL WITH ME!!!LOLLLLLLLLL ive got my owl purse n owldrive wit me now HAHHHAHA SO I GUESS IM GONNA USE IT LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
BOTH MY HOST PARENTS ARE LIONS :) vice president and secretary of their club. above is one of the projects that they did.
the place whre im staying now :)
this was taken yesterday =.= that's saliza :) she looked quiet real life and looks bubbly in pics and in fb. SOUNDS FAMILIAR????? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH
saliza and karmen!!!
the ye gang :D IM THE OLDEST T.T YUMMMMMGONNGGGGGGGG

AHH WELLLL THAT'S ALL!! GOING TO BED :) WILL UPDATE MRE!!!!!NIGHTS!!!!

A thousand miles away....

2011-12-18T14:00:00.004+08:00

exams ended just a few days back and now im typing this in Brisbane Airport waiting for my flight transit to Rockhampton....what ca i say??TIME FLIES...i was supposed to blog about my last days in college, as for now, my study life is officially ended.....no more going back to college for classes and no more hanging out around college during weekdays..i'll missed all those memories that i had and will definately treasure it or the rest of my life....i'll blog about it some time later, but NOW, just a lil updates for those who are curious about how ive been doing abroad!!!!

ive NEVER been to any trips that have as much flight TRANSIT as this before =.= and most of the time we were spending time in the airport...although for a few hours, time flies just like that when the other youth exchangees and i were fooling and chatting and crappping around LOL IM THE OLDEST THERE @.@ CAN YOU BELIEVE ITTTTTTTT??T.T I FEEL SO FRIGGIN OLDD OMGG and dressing in my formal wear (where MOST pple in the airport/plane refers it as UNIFORMS =.=), just reminds me of my days in highschool with blazer =.= AHAHAHAH IFEEL YOUNG AGAIN LOLLLLLLL

there's definately NO WAYYYYY for me to sleep soundly in the plane =.= NEVER BEEN.lol watched 2 movies straight, closed my eyes and i duno how, food was served...food was....awful (as usual..) but i finished it HAHAHAHAHHAH im gonna post some photos laater..the YEs are all very nice and can talk as much as me LOL and surprisingly, we can chat like normal although the age gap was kinda ODD. =.= LOLLLLLLL

and hey.....i found out one thing..my sense of direction isnt as bad as i thought it was..HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH and luckily i brought my lappie or else i'll lost contact with everyone =.= cuz my phone is out of battery....all YEs are in their seperate routes now...im with my partner (Haw Tung), my bro's fren, my highschool science teacher's son LOL it's a small world i know hahaahaha i kinda missed the YEs now T.T

i was feelingless (kinda...) when i took the bus to KLIA. HUGGED MY DAD AND MY MUM. MY COLLEGE FRENS WERE THERE TO SEND ME OFF.HUBBIE CALLED.ETC ETC MADE ME FEEL SO LOVED :D AND VIVIAN + SHIRLYN CAME ALL THE WAY TO KLIA JUZ TO SEND ME OFF :D HAD A FUN TIME CAMWHORING WIT THEM.HAHAAHHAH AND WE LAUGHED SOOOOOOOO MUCHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ahhhh well...waiting for my flight transit now...still feeling kinda feelingless =.= pple around here are nice!!!!!!!!!!!! FROM THE IMMIGRATION TO THE AIRPORT AND BUS DRIVERS AND LIONS AND PPLE AT STALLS ETC.THEY ARE JUZ SO FRIENDLY.HAHAHAH I JUZ CANT HELP SMILING @ THEM :)

missed every1 in msia. expecially my BED T.T ALTHOUGH I CANT SLEEP MOST OF THE TIME BUT AT LEAST IT'S MORE COMFY THAN AIRPLANE CHAIRS =.= AHHAAHHAHA WILL UPDATE YA'LL AGAIN!!!!mind my grammars....typing it witout a second look...trying to save battery for lappie HAHAHHA :D

miracles

2011-12-08T20:26:00.004+08:00

5th dec 2011

ive never cried for any of my exams before...but this time...it was really disappointing...i dont know how to express it but im really disappointed with myself...i hadnt put enough effort in it...

all i can do is...keep praying and praying and keep hoping that there's a miracle....

i need a tight hug right now....and wished to have those long phone calls and talked everything out...things r just so different now...

so i'll watch your life in pictures...

2011-11-17T16:14:00.008+08:00

never imagined that we'll end like this...

this is just a random post. been really addicted to this song lately....wasnt that attracted to the ori song cuz it kinda sound boring to me till i heard boyce avenue's version (ft megan and liz) months back (and totally forgotten about it) till lately when i was playing the whole 'speak now' album...and began searching for the song again.....and after listening to a few times and listening to the lyrics, fell in love with the song...especially boyce avenue's version....he changed the lyrics for his part....it sounded SO SAD =.= and the harmonization was awesome :)

''i do rmb the swing of your step,
the life of the party, youre showing off again
and i rolled my eyes and then you pulled me in,
Im not much for dancing but for you i did...

because u love my handshake meeting your father,
you said you loved how i walked with my hands in my pockets,
how i kissed you in the middle of saying smthing,
i prayed that u still missed those rude interruptions...

and i'll go sit on the floor wearing your clothes,
all the i know is i dont know how to be smthing you'll miss...

and i'll watch your life in pictures like how i used to watch you sleep...and i'll feel you forget me like i used to feel you breathe..
and i'll keep up with our old friends just to ask them how you are...
hope it's nice where you are...

i never planned on making you cry...
for not letting go would be living living a lie....''
-Last Kiss, Taylor Swift/Boyce Avenue ft Megan and Liz-

taylorswift is an amazing song writer...and she won another cma!!:) it's really RARE for me to think that a youtube cover of taylorswift's song would be better than hers.lol like WAY better!

it's just weird how things come about at times...it's so random, just like how suddenly a song popped out in your mind...u just gotta be prepared for everything so you wont get hurt again..just like this song, you can actually feel how happy 2 persons were before smthing went wrong in their relationship...bittersweet memories....gossshhh seriously i think im too attached to songs and lyrics too =.=just as i listen to this song i'll start imagining LOL

18 moredays...i just dont have d heart to leave my study life yet...thinking about my working life, which is still so VAGUE to me....it's sorta depressing...

dont you let it go..im wonderstruckkk♥

2011-10-29T19:03:00.011+08:00

the month of autumn :)

NOW IM TYPING WITH LAPPIE!! ive just too much to say and too much to blog and im having my fingers dancing around my keyboard now......u just dont know how thankful i am to have all those wonderful people around me.....

it's all about my 21st bday.........

28th october 2010.

yup. u saw the date right :) last year.at that date.i was in korea....in mount sorak being mesmerized by the maple trees ♥♥♥

28th October 2011.

630am.

i couldnt sleep any longer and i woke up.....was playing with my phone.

Nerriza calling..........

Smiling. "Hello?"

Sleepy voice on the other side. "Hello Happy Birthdayyyy!!!!!" and the conversation goes on......

730am.

playing with laptop. Dogs barked likenobodysbiz.

Oh no...not again......... Rushed towards my phone. Shitttttttttttttt..............

3 missed calls.

Nerriza calling...............
"Hello???!! WHY DIDNT ANSWER MY PHONE??!!!"

Rushed downstairs. Opened the door. "HAPPY 21ST BIRTHDAYYYY!!!! " Hugging. :)

she gave me a golden locket :) and then i get ready for college. Just on the way to college, i got a message frm sm1 unexpected......well....yeah. i was happy about it :)

in college. common room. DEFERRED TAX.

vivian came.

and DEFERRED TAX.

MORE DEFFERED TAX........
and then it was around 12pm.HUNGRY.

In Vivian's car.

"Where are we going???"
"Gonna sell you away"
"Go die la you"

Reached the road that was turning to Mapo (a restaurant.)

"Dont tell me we're going Mapo" (with this =.= eye.)
"Nope. Cuz i only know how to use this road." (Giving her more of THIS =.= EYE HAHA)

Turning into the roads that has lotsa bird's name LOL

Pantai Hospital.Flyover.

"Where are we going laaa????! YOU CANT DO THIS TO ME!!!"
"WE'RE GOING CASUARINA"

Kept quiet for a while.

The road to Tiger Lane.
"Dont tell me you're bringing me to Ipoh Swimming Club...... or Golf Club?????"
she stunned for a while. "Im bringing you home"
"Yeah right" (giving her more of this =.= EYE AGAIN HAHAHAHAHA)

Traffic light near Golf Club. We're on the right lane.

"ok.since we're on the right lane, IPOH SWIMMING CLUB."
"It's Golf Club meh hereeee?????"
"YALAAAAAAAAA!! HAIYOHHHHH U DUNNO WAN AHHHH???!"
"Oh ya hor...i recognized these buildings." *Points at those pinkish condominiums on our right*
Me: *almost choked to death* (okla im exaggerating HAHHAHAHAHHAA).

Fella Design.BHP STATION.TURNING IN.

"IPOH SWIMMING CLUB.I KNEW IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"NO IM BRINGING YOU HOME!!!!"
"FINE.BRING ME HOME.DONT GO IN LA SEI SOR POR!!!DONT GO IN I TELL YOU!!!!!"

Car literally stopped outside the gate. Laughing like mad in the car. Went in ISC.

Itu manusia mati pun tak mau admit: "Im bringing you home from here." SHE WIN ALREADY =.= HAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH

Reached there. Was so freaking nervous =.= dunno what they'll do to me LOL YIJIE came out in her red shirt to greet us. HIT MY HEAD =.= Went in. College friends. A GREEN "HAPPY 21ST BDAY EVAYNNE SIGN".SAW BIG OWL BALLOON. Go towards BIG OWL BALLOON. POKE IT. Play wit it :D

sat on my place.2 seats beside me was reserved worh =.= hubbie and her friend came. i looked at her like =.= THAT.they were complaning about my reaction....and so........my day started from there :)

for about a week i knew that they were planning smthing for me. just that i dont know what they were planning to do LOL and i dont wanna get too excited over it!!!! lil did i knew that they planned it all so carefully and all the effort they put in, it was really great......really....EVERYTHING.

i knew the way i acted at that moment wasnt really pleasant....i dont know why....just feeling a lil bit awkward and probably it's just because i dont know how to react towards everything....im just no good in dealing with awkward situations LOL im sucha terrible person righhhttt?? T.T well...IT WASNT EVEN MEANT TO BE AWKWARD IN THE FIRST PLACE!!!!!!!!! HAAHAHAHHAA I DONT KNOW BUT ANYWAYYYY....i really did enjoyed myself :) everything that they bought and planned...i really can imagine how many effort and time they had put in......thanks sooo much guys.......i couldnt express my sincere gratitute towards everything here, not even in a thousand or zillion words......THE OWLIES THE CARDS THE GIFTS THE CAKE AND CHOCOLATE AND THAT BACKDROP AND BIG BIG BALLOON BALLLLOOOONNNNNN IT'S ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO FREAKING AWEEEEEEEEEEEEEESOMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i really couldnt believe that this is my last year in college......i dont wanna leave so fast......soon all of us will be in our different paths and we'll be all busy chasing our own dreams, battling all challenges that stand in our way.....we wont be able to have all the time to gather for an event like this anymore........we'll be in every part of M'sia/of the world.........i'll seriously missed all the times we had together.....

never in life i could imagine that i'll love my college life like this......meeting and know you people ARE THE BEST DAMN THING EVER HAPPENED TO ME. thanks for everything......i'll just stop talking about farewells now or else this post will be getting emo-er LOL im halfway emo now =.= again, THANKS FOR EVERYTHING. I LOVE YOU ALL SO FREAKING MUCH.

6smthingpm.

Reached home. Found a package on my doorstep. It was wet. Smiling. Picked it up. A big love handmade card. Another owlie keychain. Signed: Kityi. :)

Finished transporting the balloons and presents and all the stuffs. Placed BIG OWL BALLOON and the backdrop in living room where you'll see them right away once you enter :)

Admiring presents. Messaging.

Nerriza calling.... again =.=

"Hello???!! YOU KNOW WHERE IS ANDREA NOW??????" (she was actually half way screaming LOL)
"UHHHHH.....PHOTOSHOOTING???"
"I CANT REACH HER!! ITU MANUSIA TURNED OFF HER PHONE!!!"
"I'll try to get mels number for you. and btw, u coming tonight???"
"I DONT KNOW!!! EH AND WHY DIDNT YOUR MUM ANSWER MY CALLS WANNNN??!!!!!!!!!!!"

=.=

=.=

=.=

Mum calling.............

"So how many persons coming???? I'll packet some satay for you first...so you wont get hungry..........."
"I dont know.....not confirm yet....za said you werent answering her calls....call her back and see what she's up to LOL"

Upstairs. Still admiring presents. Messaging. Heard mum voice "wow-ing" about the BIG OWL BALLOON. Went down to greet her.

Heard someone calling "Aunty". "Someone" came in with hairband and hair tied up with blue lips..well..lets just say...weird make up.

I dropped on the floor laughing so hard. Mum saw me laughing and she laughed too. Human 2 came in with a black cake box, Impiana Hotel words printed on it. I saw Human 2. I laughed again. Human 2 and I took photos with someone. and so.....that my night started like that.............

In the dining room. Preparing the cake. Mum came down with a white box.........

"We brought this from Europe for you....kept it a secret and Eli likes it a lot actually but she let you have it...."

Opened it. Delicate violin pendant with amber. Tears start falling. Hugging mum. Dad smiling. Sis tried pinching my cheeks =.= Za and hubbie "Awh-ing".

Sang bday song. Make a wish AGAIN. (so does it mean i have 6 wishes??) LOL ATE pizza. ate CAKE.chat and chat and chat like it's no 2mrw :) CAMWHORE. i love everything "homey".

nothing is more beautiful than to celebrate a special day with everyone you love.your family.your closest friends(this includes my college dearies). It was really beautiful how everything ended......sleeping at night was still an issue....cuz my brain was still busy reminiscing back to everything that happened.... there'll be a part 2 2mrw :) wished that bro was here though. but he was having his exams. and mun + joey T.T

to my family....daddy, mummy sis and bro...thanks for everything.....i wouldnt be here if it werent for you all.....shaping me into what i am today.......you know i know we know :D ANOTHER 21ST BDAY PRESENT FRM THEM IS MY AIRFARE TO AUSTRALIA :)

HUBBIE ZABII + SAKAI GANG. you girls have been with me through every ups and downs in my life. your presence NEVER FAILED TO MAKE ME LAUGH AND SMILE and be everything i am. im just so blessed to have found you all....IM JUST SO BLESSED YOU KNOWWW???!!!!! your hugs never failed to heal me and i laugh the loudest when im with you girls :) CANT WAIT TO SEE ALL OF YOU 2MRW AGAIN!!!!! ohhhh will blog about my lil owlie present from BUILD A BEAR from MUNBII 2MRW!!!!!!!!!!!!! RAWRR CANT WAIT TO SEE YOU ALL AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!THANKS FOR ALL THE EFFORT AND TIME THAT YOUVE PUT IN!!!!!! THE VIDEOS AND ALL!!!!! PRESENTS AND SURPRISES THAT FAILED EPICLY HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH I LOVEEEEEEEEEEEEE YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and of cuz......MY COLLEGE FRIENDS. youre all my brothers and SISTERS. u care for me like no other and pamper me likenobodysbiz and rawrrrr IM SOOOOO SPEECHLESS T.T thanks for all the effort that uve put in regardless how busy u pple are with your studies....handmade things and going here and there to get things prepared..............it meant a lot to me really.........promise we'll still keep in touch and all k?? :((((((((((((( ONE of my wishes, were about u all!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH the rest, of cuz my family and the sakaians were included laa (as always LOL) I LOVE YOU ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!

*FINAL BIG HUGSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS FOR EVERYONE* :)

my 21st bday.was indeed a memorable one. *tears*

my family :) i kinda love this pic. although it wasnt complete T.T

HUBBBBIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

THE GIRLSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BIG OWLIEEEEEEEEEEEEE BAAAALLLLLLOOOOOONNNN!!! WHOOOOTSSSSSSSSSSS

HAHHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA THE GUYS :D

MY AWESOME CAKE. THATS A SNOWY OWL. :D JUST LIKE HEDWIG LOL

AND I KINDA LIKE THIS PIC TOO!!!! WE LOOK SO KIDDDYYYY!!!!!!!!!!! AHAHHAAHAHAH

MY SISTERSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!WHEEEEEEEEEEE

EUNICE: MY FIRST FRIEND IN COLLEGE :D AND SHIRLYN!!!!!! SHOPAHOLIC GIRL LOLOOLOLOLOLOL

PANDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA who loves hitting me likenobodysbiz =.= BAD BIG EVIL PANDA AKA BLACK AND WHITE MONSTER AKA BAMBOO MURDERER AKA BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB

I LOVE THIS PIC TOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SHIRLYNNNN MUAHHH

YIJIEEEEEEEEEEEEEE :D STRIPY MONSTER HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

MY SQUIDVOON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA OMG I'LL MISSED HER WHEN SHE'S GONEEEE :(((((((((( AND HEYYY SHE'S SMILING WITH TEETHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

MR PHOTOGRAPHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MUNYEEEE DARRLINGGG :D GEEHEEEEE

LOOK LIKE MY LONG LOST BRO LIKE DAT =.= HAHHAHAA HE DESIGN THAT CARD!!! LOLOLOLOLOLOL

I LOVEEEEEEEEEEEEE THIS PICCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVEEE YOU HUBBIEEEEEEEEEEEEE THANKS FOR EVERY SINGLE THING YOU DO!!!! MUAH MUAH MUAHHHHH MUAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH *BIG HUGS AGAIN* :D

OMGG THE ROUND EYES STARING AT ME AHHAHAHAHA SOOOOO FREAKISHLY ADORABLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE AHHHHH MY OWL DRIVE HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

FROM HUBBIE!! IT'S DANGLING ON MY PHONE NOW :D

I LOVE MY GIRLS :)

a perfect blogpost must end with a taylorswift song: CANT YOU FEEL THE MAGIC IN THE AIR???? HAAAAHAHAHAAA

of graduation robes and teddy bears....

2011-10-27T10:44:00.009+08:00

when 22nd october came too soon...

im on my bed now, trying to blog everything that happened on this very memorable date, before 2mrw comes....i want this to be the 'cut off' date for me to blog out this very special event before i turn 21 =.= gosshhhh....i dont want 2mrw to comeeeeee!!!

anyway....about what happened before 22nd october. and about what happened during the 'planning' + 'preparing' process, i think it's best for me to keep it all to myself...as it wasnt really very pleasant...but as always, everything seemed worth going through :)

i was so very excited about this date as we had been talking about it since years back...it's such a miracle that finally we lived through this day to witness what we've planned and seeing all our dreams come true...although this is like only half-way but still....it IS a miracle....years before we graduated from the same high school and our last spm paper was actually ACCOUNTS and we get our leaving certs and headed to JJ right after our last paper....we took a pic of us holding our certs in front of the school building in the field...this memory stayed with me till today (well..lotsa memories are still wit me LOL). those were really the days...it's been like 4 years now......

that particular morning, i woke up and i prayed hard that everything will be right for me....praying so hard that hopefully there're no last minute cancellations of plans and 'restrictions' and all....till when it's about 1030am, i get dressed and waited for my HUBBIE :) when she came, it was a relief....everything went well THAT morning...and so...on the way to kampar....my hubbie's driving skills are just so.....GANAS =.= IN FACT, MORE GANAS THAN ANY1ELSE's CAR that ive ever sat in @.@ she speed like mad and cut the lines like as if she's the Queen of the road LOL it was mre thrilling than any roller coster rides =.= if i drove like that, my license will be suspended by my own father for one year man...HAhHAHA but still, she 'transported' me safely to kampar :) she'll always keep me safe!!haahaaa and i love her for that. and she's kind enough to fetch me there despite the things she's been facing!!

when we reached, we met kevin and right away, i let him sign the big big/enormous card that i made for HER :) we headed to the hall where the graduation was held and we searched for every corners and HOLES (ok im exaggerating LOL) for her!! cuz it was so freaking crowded and i was holding that big big card, placed inside a big black plastic bag, kevin holding that big teddy bear and hubbie wit her macarons!!! seriously laaaa....NERRIZA CHOOI had the best graduation gift that day. i BET no1 had such BIG graduation card and MACARONS with name written on it there.....lucky aint she???;) and then finally kevin called her, we found her....we hugged and screamed and take pictures :)

her smile is priceless. finally i saw her in her gradrobes!!! she looked so freaking smart and nice in it :D red is obviously her COLOUR HAHAHAHA luckily ktar doesnt has GREEN ONES or elseeee....my goodness....no1 knows what will happen..LOL MOTHER EARTH GOES GREEN!!HaHAAAAAaaAaa after all the photo taking session and syok sendiriness, we headed for lunch....THANKS KEVIN FOR THE LUNCH!!! and we had d sakai-est talk there...especially JOEY =.= really make my eyes go=.= when she talks....about how-manyth-times graduating she'll be attending and even counted norris's graduation worh =.= wth Hahahhaahah thinking about it still brings a smile to my face.....

throughout the whole day, i just cudnt help imagining how my graduation will be.i cant help thinking when i'll be able to graduate....how is is gonna be like in my working life and all???im getting a lil worried but in the same time, i cant wait to graduate.....in the same time....i dont wanna leave my study life so fast.....all caught up in dilemma =.= and they kept telling me (so surely) that i'll be able to graduate and pass all my papers this time....they really have high expectations on me eh??it's not that im being negative thinking (although lately i realised that im mre negative minded =.=) but the 3 papers that im about to take, isnt like what ive taken b4...still...i'll try whatever it takes to get it all done by THIS YEAR...it's my goal anyway...

and we went back ipoh for a karaoke session :) hubbie and za enjoyed it so much. they actually shuffled =.= n i stare @ them like this =.= haaahahahaahaah just recently i felt that i wasnt as 'sakai' as before....or was i actually like this all along???i dont know...

the joy of graduating..is like feeling a stone has been lifted off ur shoulders....it's still a long way to go....it's just a part of life....za's parents must be so proud of her :) my msg to her is almost all written on that BIG PIECE OF THINGY. so....she knows and i know :) pictures below!!
a friend of mine since we were 10.ended up in the same class.she claimed that i hit her wit a cane last time cuz i was protecting my another friend.it's an unkown fact.LOL choose NOT TO believe it!!=.= and her dad drives a BMW.HAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA it's really fun to do stupid things when we're young or else we wudnt have anything to laugh @ when we are older :) im so proud of her. and of cuz, i love her!! :D it's gonna be my turn to wear those robes SOON!!! T.T

my hubbie who loves me so much and protects me like my dad :) and she loves pampering me with food and surprises haaaahaaaaaa and the most ganas driver ever =.= a girl with the sweetest smile and loudest LAUGH!!haaahaaahaaa i loveeeee herrrr sooooo freakiiinngggg muccccccchhhhhh!!!

my smilleeeyyy joeeyyy!!another girl with the widest smile :) i really love girls who smile with teeth...cuz smhow, it shows CONFIDENCE. haaahaaaa jokes she cracked just make me laugh likenobodysbiz @.@ i wished that karmun wud b there thoughhh....when she's here, noise pollution will be more effective lol

THERE ACTUALLY MORE PHOTOS THAT I PUT BUT I DUNNO WHERE THEY ARE T.T BLOGGING WITH PHONE IS SO NOT EASY. IT TOOK ME AROUND ONE HOUR TO BLOG THIS OUT =.= THAT'S ALL FOR NOWWWWWWW!!! PICS IN FB :)

speechless...

2011-10-20T22:33:00.003+08:00

i'll hope and keep on hoping...

just so you know....im not happy right now...not at all....

feeling extremely disappointed....and...some mixed emotions...i just feel like sleeping and sleeping to ignore all these and wake up in a brand new mood....

im just speechless...so confused and frustrating and GUILTY till i dont even know what's wrong with me.i feel so CLUELESS... hope everything will be better for me soon...i'll just keep on hoping that the answer is
YES...

2011-10-17T20:59:00.002+08:00

even a maple tree wont stay flaming red forever.....

i told you i have a thing with maple trees...i just dont know why....i love autumn...the feeling of being in a place full of falling leaves and cool breeze...nothing is more beautiful than that....october...is definately the month of autumn...it's my month :)

there're just lotsa stuffs happening in this month...just finished prom and im now busy preparing for my studies....it's gonna be my FINAL BATTLE this time....and 22nd october, another date ive been waiting foward to :)

speaking about prom...it's been a week plus now....but still....the feeling is like as if i was only yesterday....time flies too fast...really fast...but it's not my intention to blog about prom again...it's about smthing else....

Just this evening....as usual like other evenings...i'll spend time wit my family in d garden...gardening...chatting...joking...eating....get scolded =.= etc LOL my family has this routine that everyday we'll spend time together this way...and just smthing came to my mind suddenly....

I was sitting on d swing at the back garden eating my dinner that my dad n sis bought for me frm the night market....it was windy...and definately i liked the weather....mum was trimming her plants and i let myself wandered off wit my imaginations again....looking at my family doing their stuffs....just suddenly i was thinking....what will happen to everything years frm now?

Im sure most of you had at least thought about this once....things will change....munching my dinner, i recalled back everything that 'hits' me....a friend that used to call me almost once every week, the one who used to make me laugh, the one i treasured so dearly...my childhood friend...it's been almost 9months we've not spoken to each other.....thats totally a 360degree change....

Friends that used to study wit me everytime when exams are drawing near(at times like this)....most of them are working now/gonna work soon......n thinking about my last sem in college, i just cant believe that my study life is going to an end....

In a few months time (49days to be exact=.=) i'll be sitting for my final 3 papers and right after that...i'll be flying to australia (if my dad approves it) and i'll start searching for jobs when im back...by that time i'll be praying hard that im able to go through all my papers...it scares me at times when i think about WORK.last time....im hoping to finish my studies asap and get a job, start earning my own money and get all the things i want in the world...but now....i guess im holding on too tightly on my memories that i truly enjoyed in my study years...

2 and a half years from now....dont ask why 2 and a half..just take note and remember this length of time....things are gonna change A LOT.if im given a choice, i wish that i could skip this period of time.i want everything to stay the same like what im having now...my friends and all...i just want everything to stay the way it is now.....can u all promise me??stay the way we are now....

Well...capturing the memory of my mum trimming her plants...my dad standing beside his big koi fish pond, admiring all his koi fishes...sis and bro helping mum with the gardenings....when now my bro isnt here for now....some years later when my sis is married...when my bro graduate and when i graduate/probably working....im not sure wthr things will stay this way or not...we grew up too fast...

When some songs remind you of people you knew, the memories you once HAD...
when u still have that tiny bits of memories that'll bring a small smile on your face...
when you still have those words from others that you'll remember...
When some place will remind you of all memories you had....
Your first defeat and first victory...
Your first conversations when it was so hard to say 'hello' till that awful goodbye...
Your first encounters and first eye contacts...
Your first heartbreaks and first betrayals......
They're some small part of your life worth remembering all the same...

Treasure all things when u have it. To live witout regrets. Cause even a maple tree wont stay flaming red forever...

this night is sparklingggg....

2011-10-12T20:07:00.005+08:00

dont you let it go.....

title and intro sounds familiar??haha yeah...it's the lyrics frm "Enchanted" :) that's the only thing that i can think of when i recall back about prom.....cud be due to those sparkling masks and sparkling lights and it's held @ night............

for days and weeks we have been preparing for this whole thing...those sleepless nights and stuffs that we went through......it wasnt as what we expected....but im very sure that there's always this reason that make us feel that it's worth doing it............

the night before, and a few days before the real date........the one thing that i keep reminding myself is that "DO NOT HAVE HIGH EXPECTATIONS FOR THE NIGHT"...well yeah...i was very excited about it days before prom....but i know that whenever im extremely excited about smthing, it'll be 90% chance that things could go wrong...........there'll ALWAYS be smthing that'll let me down......

throughout the whole night...it wasnt that bad actually...although the crowd was kinda quiet.....all except my friends who were being so supportive.........performances was alright....i dont wanna expect too much...and that was why the night before, i didnt even practise singing my song or my dance EXCEPT my violin playing =.= it was still disastrous though LOL

looking back on the things we've done........frm the moment when the ticket sales was kinda disappointing till we did everything we could till prom, i will actually call it a success....at least we didnt give it up half way and we actually hang on to it till the very last moment when we bid farewell in the hotel.........the point that we didnt give up in the 1st place, we're already winners.....

no one could see the stuffs that we're going through nor did they know how hard we tried improving everything we did just for them..........but the point that we're there for each other, encouraging and supporting each other, nothing beats that. NOTHING. The process of preparing for prom, is the main point and it's smthing that's worth remembering for a lifetime.......the outcome wasnt that bad right??!!! i truly enjoyed all the moment we had fun practising in the MPH and in the art gallery...........AND IN MY SECOND HOME TOO!!!!! THE LUNCHES ETC ETC ETC you people are AWESOMEEE :) YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE!!! HAHAHAHA

this will be my last prom.....i'll totally miss everything once im out of SYCI. thanks for all the memories......the feeling is just like leaving high school....promise me one thing...keep in touch whereever we are k???I LOVE YOU ANIMALSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

and of course......to all my high school friends..............the ones who had been SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO SUPPORTIVE of me for years....the ones who had been there for me ALWAYS..............i couldnt have been thankful enough......IM JUST SOOOOOO BLESSED TO HAVE YOU GUYS AROUND ME.WHO AM I WITHOUT YOU GIRLSSSSSSSSS??!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I WONT BE AWESOME WITOUT YOU AWESOME PEOPLE AROUND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOUVE BEEN CREATING WONDERFUL MEMORIES FOR ME EVER SINCE WE'RE IN HIGH SCHOOL AND THERE YOU ARE, still adding every piece of beautiful memory in my heart...........

to karmun, when i first sent the msg to you and the rest, i wouldnt expect you to actually come ALL THE WAY BACK FROM SINGAPORE JUST TO SEE ME PERFORM. i was just thinking to INFORM you about my prom!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i was literally SCREAMING when i knew that ure coming back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IT MEANT A LOTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT TO ME.REALLY.THANKS FOR COMING BACK FOR ME.THANKS. i couldnt have thank you more.......and rushing back to singapore to start work immediately T.T uve done too much for me!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE YOU KHONGKARMUNBIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

to nerriza, andrea (HUBBIE) and JOEY........thanks so much.......thanks for being there for me always...thanks for taking care of me and FOR EVERYTHING....HAVING YOUR SUPPORT WITH ME ALWAYS, IM ONE OF THE STRONGEST GIRL IN THE WORLD :D I LOVE YOU SAKAI-IANS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

last but not least, MY JUNIORS....MY SISTERS...MY PRINCESSES.YOU GUYS ARE SOOOOO FREAKING AWEEESOMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.from the time when i was the commander, till today.....your SUPPORT and your lively-ness had NEVER FAILED to make me smile and make be feel sooooo blessed.........

thanks for the memories guys......ure always there to me me smileeeee + laughhh!!! :D love you all!!!
my princesses :) love you girllllssssss!!!

thanks for being there for me ALWAYS. sakai-ians forever :) haahahahahahha wheeeeeeeeee and that lunch on sunday, was really a blast...ive never laughed that much and talked and screamed that much for months...it's great to have that moment once again...that was my best weekend so far for that month.....ure d best damn thing ever happened to me and i was enchanted to meet you!!hahahahaahahaah ENCHANTED TO MEET ALL OF YOU MENTIONED IN THIS BLOG TO BE PRECISE!!! :D

when tomorrow came too soon....

2011-10-07T23:11:00.002+08:00

you'll find yourself trapped in the memories.............

just a month ago when i started planning for all my performances (which never fails to duplicate until the time when ive finally ran out of ideas), 2mrw, will be the day......of all the practices i had with my friends, the times we joked and stressed out (mostly me =.=) during the practices, will always remain in my memories.......

im extremely tired+sleepy now but still, i would use all my strength to blog this out.......i dont wanna expect too much for tomorrow as i dont want myself to get disappointed........THIS IS NOT MEANT TO BE AN EMO POST!! im really glad that many of my close friends would be able to make it to my prom......and i know that they've went through lotsa stuffs just to free their time to attend my LAST PROM. God-knows-when im gonna perform like this again.........

just this afternoon i was out with vivian after lunching with yukming and adrian, both of us just couldnt believe that 2mrw will be the day...the day that we've been talking and planning about.......the day that we both fear that she might be already working in kl and needing her to rush back for the last rehearsal and practice...the day that we've been preparing for almost EVERY SINGLE DAY. those times that used to we transpose the songs to the right key, what song to include, the piano playing style, VIOLINING =.= etc etc and man.......2mrw we're gonna present the whole thing that we've been preparing to the audiences................

not forgetting about my dance...........from the day i started choreographing it till the day that i taught my dance team...........all of it seems so near but we'll be having our last practice and rehearsal 2mrw......how i wished that there'll be more time for us to enjoy the progress..........it was kinda funny how the dance steps came to me and how i chose that song for the dance.........all thanks to vivian lol i could ALMOST use "Enchanted" for the dance (which im actually reluctant to do so!!! hahahahhaa ) and was even thinking about using the same song that i used to dance in high school last time "Do you remember-aaron carter" but then when one day miss vivian was playing THAT SONG on piano........and i knew, THAT'S THE SONG I'LL USE FOR THE DANCE. and just like that, i started with the steps and voila we're gonna perform it 2mrw!!!

and for the cocktail session....i'll be performing TWICE.and one of the performances, I HAVE NO IDEA HOW THAT CRAZY IDEA CAME TILL IVE BEEN SUFFERING ALMOST EVERY DAY.....TILL I GET NECK PAIN AND FINGERS CRAMPED =.= ive no idea why i love making myself do smthing BEYONDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD my reach =.= i hope everything will turn out okay for THIS ONE 2mrw T.T

all the laughters i had during the practices, they were priceless...and times spent in my 2nd home, were priceless too......

all the best to the organizers/committees!!! 2MRW WILL BE THE DAYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHOOOOTSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS AND IM SUPPOSED TO PRACTISE RIGHT NOW =.= U GUYS HAD WORKED HARD AND LETS ROCK IT 2MRW!!!!

I CANT WAIT TO SEE MY GIRLIESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

westlife T.T

day after day.....

2011-10-07T01:42:00.002+08:00

and words left unsaid.....

i just dunno how to start....keeping myself busy for days and days......almost neglecting about everything that happened around me.....doing things that i think that it's just for myself.....reminding myself that smtimes, things are ABOUT ME TOO.

everything that ive done i feel like im doing it for others............and for once im doing smthing that i THOUGHT that it's for myself(WAS IT??), it somehow ended up making me feel unhappy at times.....by keeping myself busy, ive neglected everyone around me except for those who really did make that effort to keep in touch with me......i know, busy is not an excuse.....but i-dont-wanna-disturb/trouble/annoy-you ISNT an excuse too right????if things just keep going on like this.......i dont know...i dont even know why im blogging this out.

there're just lotsa stuffs that i wanna say. every night before i sleep, one thing that i ALWAYS do is to recall everyting that happened during the day, recalling all conversations and things that ive done.....things that i wished that i would have said and SHOULD NOT and things that i should have done, vice versa......being alone, my mind will start running wild with all my own imaginations and do those thinkings before going to bed.......smtimes it was so extreme that contributes to my sleepless nights.......and there was this particular conversation that i keep on replaying and wishing that i would have said smthing to clarify things out..........

this year's prom, will be the most memorable one.......i smhow got involved wit it indirectly and the best part is, now my closest, dearest and bestest friends are all joining along too........in fact, this is the thing that kept me working hard for all the performances and it's one of the factor that makes me so freaking excited.......for once in life i can be in an event with all my friends that i treasure and all im asking for is hoping that they can be supportive and understanding..............i dont wanna make things so clear cuz i dont want this to turn out into smthing serious or creating hard feelings for everyone.......the only one thing that i wanna make clear is that: I WANNA ENJOY THE NIGHT WITH ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL MY FRIENDS. regardless wthr ure frm college or not. it'll be like my "LAST" prom so this is smthing i WANT. i treasure all of you dearly and dont even think of me neglecting any1 of you. and im really thankful that all of you can make it FOR ME.

another thing that's bothering me is......im just really CONFUSED of smthing.....im just so tired of guessing, i wished i could STOP guessing but i just CANT.stop making me feel so confused.really.im tired of everything.REAL TIRED.please be true to your heart and stop making another person suffer for you.that's real selfish.and MEAN.

im one complicated human i know.cant help it.i cant sleep T.T i dont even know what im crapping now.WHATEVER.A WORD THAT I FEEL LIKE SAYING IT RIGHT AT YOUR FACE.

i'll start locking myself away frm the world after the 8th.westlife concert on d 7th T.T envying those who are actually going =.=goodnight.

this i promise you...

2011-09-25T23:36:00.002+08:00

I'LL BE HAPPY.

Whatever happens, i'll be happy.

It's just not fair making myself suffer this way. I had enough....and smtimes i dont even have a single idea why i would act so 'senselessly' like sm other girls that i'll think that they need attention and they're just plain annoying.....it's just so scary to see myself turning into one of them...

People changed.....i changed...i gotta start letting go of smthing that i shouldnt have held on at the first place....

Im nothing but disappointed.....i dont know.....maybe i was just having too high hopes....and that obviously leads to...bigger disappointment. I would very much prefer living in my teen world when friendships seemed mre certain. I used to think that friendships will NEVER last forever. Will it? Soul mates. Do u believe in it? I dont know.

I dont wanna give myself that answer. Maybe ive been trying to control my life too much...maybe ive tried too hard to control everything that goes on around me.....i'll always make sure that i'll get what i want and i'll never stop till i'll get it....and smtimes...im just too tired wit it.im too tired of everything....

By the time when i get that smthing, or ive achieved it...that feeling and that moment when i have tears in my eyes and be proud of it and when i can finally say 'well done' to myself.....it was just beautiful....in every moment ive struggled....i just cant wait for d outcome that ive always wanted.....controlling much?

Smtimes when i said 'i dont wanna care anymore'. Im just saying. Ive no idea why i could be so stupid and go around helping every1, including those hu used to b my enemies. And after helping, i kinda regret but ive always tried looking at the better side and taking care of my conscience....it's not like im trying to be 'an angel' or try making every1 thinks that im 'sweet'. It's just that, I COULDNT DO IT.IVE TRIED BEING MEAN AND ENDED UP FEELING BAD TOO =.=

i dont wanna make decisions that haunt me forever and make me feel bad forever. At least after doing smthing good, no matter what feedback i get in return, i will still have that ONE REASON to tell myself that it's worth doing it.

And smtimes im just living in my own dreams. I gotta wake up frm it. I gotta stop making assumptions about everything...gonna stop guessing what ure thinking...when im trying to understand every1 else, i failed to understand myself....and of course....ive been giving away my time to people around me when my dad kept reminding me to keep some time for my own...and that was d reason why he had always wanting to keep my phone...

I gotta stop expressing myself for now. I can blog till d next morning u knw. For this past few months the contents of my blog is getting mre depressing.....so im jus gonna end wit smthing not-so-depressing...

IM GETTING MARRIED.

Yes.im getting married wit MY HUBBIE-ANDREA ONG ZHEN-YI.

I'll be happy for the rest of my life.

good things come to those who wait.....

2011-09-16T10:50:00.005+08:00

when you finally have the chance to say "finally....." , "this is my moment...." and "i made it...." + having tears in your eyes with your lips carved into a smile..........

"wait" doesnt mean WAIT. look at it deeper, it simply means,
NOT GIVING UP,
NOT LOOSING HOPE AND FAITH,
HOLDING ON ,
WORK FOR IT.

that's what WAIT means. SOON, SUCCESS WILL BE URS. DREAMS WILL BE REALIZED.

"You'll never experience the true feeling of success if you've not undergone failures. Failures that'll make you fall SO HARD but in the end, you stand up strong again. That's true success" - Mr David.

it's not like im saying that ive experience "true success" but the feeling that i got for my results was really a shock and i kinda think it's just a blessing. i still couldnt believe it up to today but it does motivate me. anywayyy.....im not the MAIN CHARACTER here today. HAAHAHHA THIS POST, IS SPECIALLY DEDICATED TO MISS NERRIZA CHOOI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (last name, KIMCHI HAHAHAHAHAAHHA)

she has made it THIS FAR for years of struggling with the course that she took and that she hated a LOT . GUESS WHAT. ACCOUNTING =.=

just a few months back....before i sat for my exams in june and she sat for hers in august......and those previous years that we were encouraging each other to work hard and keep holding on to everything we were doing (BUT YET WE FAILED), the way we talked about what future brings, how we wished that we could end our exam miseries and EARN LOTSA LOTSA LOTSSSAA MONEEEYYYYY AND BUY/DO ALL THE THINGS WE WANT (look we're not money minded k??!!! but @ this stage of time till we're in our 60s, i think money is WAYYYY IMPORTANT LOL) .....it just like some normal girl's talk but WORDS are strong if you use them well.

she succeeded.

we were both aiming, trying to graduate THIS YEAR and end our study life ONCE AND FOR ALL. she had finally achieved it, and im half way through i hope (or LESS than half?? =.=). of the times we were so excitingly talking about this, and here we are today to witness it.we've waited long enough for this day. well..SHE HAS WAITED LONG ENOUGH.and she'll be graduating on the 22nd of October. (SEE????!! TOLD YOU ALL GOOD THINGS ARE IN THE MONTH OF OCTOBER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!). AND IM SOOOOO GONNA ATTEND HER GRADUATION *tears in eyes* i hope i wont cry that day =.= it's like a mother looking at her daughter graduating =.= HAHAHAHAHAHAH

what amazed me was that we both passed the exams that we sat for. not at the same time but......we achieved smthing together. she found a job that she like and i was so happy for her. the way she msged me in ALL CAPS and really make me feel like she's FLYING while msging me LOL and we did talk about weddings too okay(im extremely good in changing topics)... HHAHAHHAHA ONE DAY, YOU'LL SEE ME @ HER WEDDING SINGING "AMAZED BY LONESTAR" :D

anyway.....NERRIZA CHOOI IMM SO FREAKINNNGGG PROUD OF YOU GIRLLLL!!! all the best in your future undertakings now AND I'LL SEE YOU IN YOUR GRADUATION ROBES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG I CANT WAIT

this is not an ending...it's just a beginning.......trust me...good things come to those who wait.....for those who are reading this post, just hang on a lil longer......you'll achieve it VERY VERY SOON.u know what i mean :)

the way....

2011-09-12T10:28:00.002+08:00

you feel it in the way.....

remember my previous post about "lyrics-of-a-song-will-suddenly-come-to-me"?? well...this morning, in my bed...THIS SONG....WAS PLAYING ON MY MIND LOL nowadays i keep on digging and digging out more and more my past favs songs........i dont even bother to look for NEW SONGS =.=

i know..it's awesome righttt??haha

make it evergreen....

2011-09-11T13:20:00.006+08:00

im gonna take this night and make it evergreen......

you know the weird thing about me?it's like im listening to this song, or im in this place, either thinking or doing smthing or seeing anything on my way....just suddenly lyrcis of some songs will come to me.....like this day, i was sitting on the kitchen floor looking outside.it was in the evening around 6-7 and the skies were darkblue and suddenly i had the lyrcis "skies are dark it's time for rain........." it was "say it isnt so-gareth gates". i downloaded the song immediately and got so addicted to it then. that was one of my fav songs when i was in high school :) owh btw, the lyrics are REAL SAD(if you listened to the whole song) HAHAHAHAHAHA

just as i was playing my playlist.....i was having the lyrics of this song in my mind.....the few words from the first verse and a lil bit from the chorus.....i was trying to recall the song (refusing to google cuz it gives me the thrill to rmb what song that is). and. i got it right.

EVERGREEN BY WESTLIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

it used to be mine, and my bro's fav song!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! we sang/played this song almost everyday last time!!!!!!!!!!!! we were both dieee hard fans of westlife (STILL IS) lol my first song that i learn strumming was "My Love" by WESTLIFE and THIS is d 2nd song that i learnt strumming!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

no one can EVERRRR produce songs like this now.......not even taylorswift =.= 90s songs are always the best.they can make you smile and cry at the same time. the exact feeling like you're crying out of joy. i dunno how to explain THAT KIND of feeling but u get what i mean right??!!it's so nostalgic.

music heals all the time :) goshhh i missed westlife T.T it takes me back to my childhood all the time. the song "MY LOVE" is the song which ALL OF US (MY FAMILY MEMBERS) KNOW HOW TO SING (AND THAT INCLUDES ALL MY AUNTIES AND UNCLES AND COUSINS) lol i still rmbed that time during CNY when we always have a gathering in my hse on d 2nd day of CNY, my bro n i played that song and everybody sings. that was like so many years ago when i was still playing my classical guitar =.=

im still keeping those newspaper cuttings and stickers of westlife that i collected last time. HAHHAHAHA owh.i was so stupid last time that i dont know what's EVERGREEN. when i was listening to this song last time, i dunno how it reminds me of FOREST.HUTAN. =.= LOL now that im all "grown up" , i realized that this song has really nice lyrics. HHAHAHAHAHAHAH

p/s: i ate a whole mango by myself for breakfast. AWESOMENESS :D

BTW....JUST SOME ADDITIONS.I FEEL LIKE SCREAMINGGG. THEY'LL BE HAVING CONCERT IN KL IN OCTOBER 7TH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! RAWRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR WHY DOES ALL GOOD THINGS HAVE TO COME IN OCTOBERRR???!!!!! T.T

AN ACOUSTIC VERSION OF THEIRS-IF I LET YOU GO T.T THEIR VOCALSSSSS OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

MY LOVEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ACOUSTIC VERSION RAWRRRRR

uhh....scream wit me pleasssseeee????? T.T

used-to-bes......

2011-09-09T23:41:00.005+08:00

you'll always be a part of me............

just as i was trying to "hibernate" from the world (and was supposed to help my dad wit his work....) i intense-researched my own blog.....all the memories i once had......the person i used to be...it all seems to far far away......what had happened to me?

ive no idea what turned me into this.......i feel annoyed wit myself at times.....and having the radio turned on and they were playing david cook's - always be my baby. and that explains the intro of this post? im sure some of you here was wondering what the hell is wrong. i dunno as well. i'll be lying if i tell you that im okay but let me assure you that i'll be fine. so no worries......i just need some time to do sm thinking by myself....and perhaps keeping myself busy. what frustrates me that mossssttt is that whenever i tried studying, I JUST CANT FOCUS.

i dont wanna turn friends into strangers.but as you get closer to someone, you begin to notice their flaws and that actually make you feel like staying away from them......i know....nobody's perfect......but what if being close to that particular person, and you'll hurt urself more and you feel like an idiot.......what more, you knew that it's sm1 that you cant trust anymre...how are you gonna continue treating them sincerely?does it mean that you have to fake yourself out just to save that friendship?

we always have a choice...another choice for me to choose from is by thinking this way: as a friend, u gotta accept their flaws because that's how true friends should act? forgive them.

im not perfect myself and there might be another person out there being stuck in the same situation as me about ME.

i just cant live witout writing =.= i just need some time on my own to get my thinking straight. and maybe learn to forgive and forget about it.ok fine.maybe not forget.i must not forget about it.a lesson to be learnt.

looking back at the past, something's changed. i bet you feel it too. things arnt the same anymre. but really, just beware of your friend.

i know after this post, you humans will start wondering and talking about my issue again.......you can just talk about anything but PLEASE, dont make any assumptions (which i knew you ALREADY DID). you dont know anything about me so stop wasting your time guessing/making "smart(or maybe NOT-SO-SMART) assumptions about me.cuz u know why?IT ANNOYS THE HELL OUT OF ME. you can definately win the best gossiper award.thanks for acting like you care but sorry i cant feel your sincerity.as always, you always make me feel like your trying to get some "answers" from me because you wanna know more things. it sounds like you right? YEAH IM TALKING ABOUT YOU.

lets not make a big issue out of it. I FEEL BETTER AFTER BLOGGING. i dont mean to make any1 of you to feel bad. that's the first reason i refused to confront any1 of you.

things will get better.i promise.

"believe in yourself, reach out inside, the love you find will set you free......
believe in yourself, you will come alive, have faith in what you do.....
you'll make it through........."

goodnight.

in the time of breaking down..........

2011-09-07T23:34:00.004+08:00

everybody has a limit....uve crossed mine.........

just read my previous posts about how i felt about expressing myself too openly and too honestly......it feels wrong.i just dont get to express as freely as before. anyhow.........im just gonna cut this short.

im not that kind of girl that would do/post/act in a way "to get attention"....if there're times i loose control of my emotions, i'll spam everywhere i can. i feel better. dont you know ive TWO twitter accounts??? one is just private just for me ALONE (for more private spammings) and the other is the one you people are following......i just prefer to release everything in words......and once i release those "words" it really meant smthing had happened.........words are smthing that i wont abuse....i meant every word i said.....

im not here to create dramas (by now u shud know how much i hated dramas). i dont feel like confronting that person in this moment cuz if i did, IM 100% VERY ABSOLUTELY SURE that a drama will be created....so i just tend to keep everything to myself and tried making myself positive.....but somehow....the limit was crossed...........

"ONCE YOU'VE GAINED MY TRUST, DONT MAKE ME LOOSE IT.
ONCE YOU'VE BETRAYED MY TRUST, DONT EVEN THINK OF GETTING IT BACK"

i thought that i could trust you.....but it seems like i was wrong..my biggest mistake of my life is to always trust the wrong person.......it hurts at times but slowly, i'll be dealing fine with it.......

i knw that youve been consistently STALKING my blog. stop being a coward. anything u wanna say, come say it straight to me. you know that my tweets were about you. dont worry. i wont be blogging about your "dirty deeds" here.i just cant wait to see the day when your FRIENDS see the real you.if youre not guilty about anything, you dont have to be worried about what i posted is about you or not.if youre not guilty about anything, you wont be feeling that im referring to you.

i guess i'll just sleep it off....like how i usually did......and i just dont feel like seeing or typing out your name ever again....

someone's watching over me...

2011-08-28T14:40:00.003+08:00

dont you just love songs with GOOD lyrics?? :)

Found myself today
Oh I found myself and ran away
Something pulled me back
The voice of reason I forgot I had
All I know is you're not here to say
What you always used to say
But it's written in the sky tonight

So I won't give up
No I won't break down
Sooner than it seems life turns around
And I will be strong
Even if it all goes wrong
When I'm standing in the dark I'll still believe
Someone's watching over me

Seen that ray of light
And it's shining on my destiny
Shining all the time
And I wont be afraid
To follow everywhere it's taking me
All I know is yesterday is gone
And right now I belong
To this moment to my dreams

So I won't give up
No I won't break down
Sooner than it seems life turns around
And I will be strong
Even if it all goes wrong
When I'm standing in the dark I'll still believe
Someone's watching over me

It doesn't matter what people say
And it doesn't matter how long it takes
Believe in yourself and you'll fly high
And it only matters how true you are
Be true to yourself and follow your heart

So I won't give up
No I won't break down
Sooner than it seems life turns around
And I will be strong
Even if it all goes wrong
When I'm standing in the dark I'll still believe
That I won't give up
No I won't break down
Sooner than it seems life turns around
And I will be strong
Even when it all goes wrong
When I'm standing in the dark I'll still believe
That someone's watching over
Someone's watching over
Someone's watching over me

Someone's watching over me

i cried watching this movie......i missed this type of movies being made now LOL absolutely love the lyrics!!!!!!it's so INSPIRING.

indescribable....

2011-08-28T13:26:00.004+08:00

im just gonna use back the same title :)

http://weddingdress06.blogspot.com/2011/08/indescribable.html this is actually a response to THIS POST.

HELL YEAHHH ANDREA ONG ZHEN YI IM GONNA SHOUT :

"YOU BLOG ABOUT ME FOR WHATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT???!!!!!!!!"

LOUD ENOUGH???

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA was kinda SURPRISED actually and you make me speechless after reading the post *back to december playing (for real)* May Flower =.= anywayyyy.....it was REALLY random how we got to know each other. lol in high school, i BARELY even see her and the most we only SMILE (dont even rmb saying HI =.=).

she's perfect in her own way....it's just that im disappointed that how people judged her. HEY. YOU DONT EVEN KNOW HER YET.

well yeah..she's popular and pretty and all guys in the world wanna know her........everybody knows her......she has everybody's attention.......i mean c'mon...WHO DOESNT KNOW ANDREA ONG?=.= living in the limelight, she faces judgements everyday.......the stress that she felt, NO ONE KNOWS. when every girl in the world wants to be like her, she sometimes doesnt want to live her life this way..........THANKS TO YOU GUYS.WHO GAVE YOU THE PERMISSION TO JUDGE HER ANYWAY?NOT EVEN GOD.

studying might not be her thing but, she's smart and mature (although she's a year younger than me) when some other girls who excel in their studies and act like a spoilt brat (whooopppsss lol). she's independant and she loves her family (what's more important than that?). loves God, a Christian @ heart (well, lets not go into this topic k?will have lotsa comments on this lol) state tennis player, has a model material, good in music and literature HELLO WHAT'S MORE PERFECT THAN THAT??! LOL *enchanted playing* HAHHAHAAHAHHA

she's just an ordinary girl that deserved to be loved by everyone........she's strong herself without realizing it.......she can treat someone sincerely if you treat her the same....when people turned their backs against her, indeed she's hurt deeply (who wouldnt?) but she's always ready to forgive them........sometimes she might say that she'll do smthing mean to you, but in the end, she wouldnt have the heart to do it........

when you need help and turn to her, she'll try to give you the very best.......she'll love a guy for her whole life...it's just that sometimes those idiots doesnt take her seriously.........you're just not that lucky eh?

she might have kept a high profile last time....BUT THAT WAS HER PAST. AND PEOPLE, STOP BRINGING HER BACK TO HER PAST. people make mistakes. and every1 deserves a 2nd chance. she's brave enough to admit her flaws and change. ARE YOU?

she's special in her way, straightfoward and treasures all her friends......SO SOCIALABLE (UNLIKE ME =.=) and hey, SHE'S A FAST LEARNER YOU KNOW??HAHAHAHAHAHAHA she mastered her guitar skills fast and when she wants smthing, she'll just fight her way for it until she'll achieve it.......and....she can laugh VERY LOUUDDDLY in the cinema =.= HAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHH

i need like 3 years to know this girl well..so...if uve just known her for a period shorter than mine, dont say a word about her.

just so you know, I LOVE YOU TOO AOZY!!!!!!!!!!AHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA KEEP SMILING WIT UR PEARRRRLYYY WHITE TEETH :D we'll just keep the other words among ourselves k??hehhehhehe

and here's a VIDEO of us, DOING OUR FIRST REAL (dont take into account the one we made for za's and karmun's bday LOL) COVER TOGETHER!!!!!!!!!!!AHAHAHHHAHAH SHE'S A GOOD SINGER ALRIGHT???!!! LIKE REAL GOOD LOLLLLLLLLLLLL HAD LOTSA LOTSA LOTSAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA FUN LAUGHING WIT HER. took us around 3 hours to record the video and the audio =.= and took me like around 1 hour to edit the video. TOTAL HOURS USED: APPROXIMATELY 4 HOURS + ?? LOL LONG LIVE TO BOTH OF US :D WAITING FOWARD TO DO ANOTHER COVER WITH NERRIZA CHOOI AND ANDREA ONG!!WAHAHAHAHHA that'll be fun :D

uh....99 MORE DAYS TILL THE FINAL BATTLE T.T

THIS NIGHT IS SPARKLING DONT YOU LET IT GO,
IM WONDERSTRUCK BLUSHING ALL THE WAY HOME,
I'LL SPEND FOREVER WONDERING IF YOU KNEW,
I WAS ENCHANTED TO MEET YOUUUUUUUUUUU....

i forgot the feeling.....

2011-08-22T13:06:00.005+08:00

and a surprise behind the green box......

22nd August 2011.

1220pm.

sitting there watching the pos laju van stopping in front of my dad's office.....chills went down my spine.....was very sure that at this time, all ACCA/CAT students will be having their laptops/notebooks/PCs turned on, getting ready to go through the line to check their results....it took a while for the post man to get down from that van, holding a red box walking in my dad's office. it was for me.

holding the box with shaky hands, i knew it was sent from a very very veryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy good/best friend of mine from U.K. years before, we were "exciting-ly" talking about going UK together but, it turned out that im stuck in M'sia......the only place that we kept in touch was via FACEBOOK. i missed shopping and hanging ouot with her.....

looking at the clock hanging on the wall...i hestitated to make an effort to try loging into ACCAGLOBAL.COM. anyway.....i decided to open the package 1st.it was kinda EPIC that it ARRIVED on my results day.......it's like being here to CONSOLE ME (in case if i DID FAILED). i opened up the red box (that was kinda dented=.=) and there were two boxes inside, an envelope, and 2 Eiffel Tower keychains. Mr envelope says : READ ME 1ST. and there was this really nice birthday card...and then i opened the maroon box containing a necklace that she showed me online that she bought from York...and finally...the green box.....i was opening it with my bro and i literally screamed and ALMOST CRIED and i tried calling her but she had her phone turned-off =.=

now you know why i screamed....just a few weeks back i was telling her that i wanted the "Wonderstruck" perfume (that'll only be out on October) and Taylor Swift guitar picks..........i saw her name, and i SCREAMED and started OMG-ING.............

a closer look :)

TAYLOR SWIFT GUITAR PICKSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DREAMING TO HAVE THESE FOR A VERYYYYYYYYYYYYY VERYYYYYYYYYY VERRRRYYYYYYYY LONG TIMEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SOOOOO PRETTY RIGHHHTTT????OMG MY FIRST SET OF TAYLOR SWIFT GUITAR PICKS @.@ IM PLANNING TO TURN SOME OF IT INTO A NECKLACE :D

and behind those picks, a msg for me :) MY ADVANCED 21ST BDAY PRESENTTT!!!NO WONDER SHE WAS SOOOOO EXCITED TO SEND ME THESE GIFTS LOLLLLLLLLLLL
TO CYNTHIA WAN: THANK YOU SOOOOO SOOOOO SOOOOOOO MUCHHHHH BBF!!!!!!!!!!! (YES, IT'S BBF, NOT BFF :D. THAT'S LIKE OUR OWN CODE LOL)

and my card.with a guitar :D she called me juz now and i think we chatted for like more than hald and hour. LOL and she told me that the moment she saw the card, she knew that i'll like it bcuz of the GUITAR HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH SHE WAS SO VERY RIGHT.LOL

havent seen her writings for almost a YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i like the back part of the card too LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

the extremely nice necklace that i think i'll wear to prom :) thanksss girlllfren!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and the 2 keychains + the RED BOX containing all my treasures ;) ROYAL MAIL TO THE QUEEN HAAHAHAHAHAH

and then......i dunno how but i checked my mail....and there was the mail...........went to my dad's office and told him that the mail arrived.....i dare not open.....was planning to open it at night.....but then, my dad was like, COME I SEE FOR YOU =.= and so my bro and dad was like viewing it and suddenly bro was shouting smthing that made me =.= and my dad was like confused asking me what sitting i sat for and all...so i viewed it myself and i found myself calling my mum and sis crying and laughing and the same time............

i had forgotten how long ive felt this way.....NOT EVEN when i got my SPM RESULTS =.= im not sure wthr it's effort or just pure luck.....thank God for everything and to those wonderful people around me who had been with me through all my darkest times, especially my family, my friends and MY LECTURERS..............i wudnt have done it without all the support from all of you, giving me all sorts of words of encouragement........ i still remember what Mr David had told me some time ago, in fb, commenting on that pic of the whiteboard that we drew on in the student common room on a night that we were all revising for our exams...

" if the Gods of ACCA had eyes, they will pass u based on persistence and effort."

that boost me up a lot really...and Mr Tham, he had taught me for quite a number of papers now......and and all his effort in teaching me will be like, thrown away IF i fail.....i was so afraid that i might fail P1 AND P3 and letting these 2 lecturers down, letting my parents down and letting myself down........letting someone down isnt a good feeling...NOT AT ALL T.T

3 more papers to go.....and i'll be off from ACCA.......i'll try to make sure that i'll pass all these papers this round AGAIN. my aim is to end this whole thing once and for all this year......praying hard that i'll be able to realized it......

to my friends, thanks for being there for me......your advices and supports meant a LOT to me...to those who passed, congratulations...you truly deserve it.....to those who failed, it's only a beginning......soon, we'll all make it although we're on different paces.......

one day, we're all charted accountants and be proud of it :)

i still remember this quote that Cynthia posted on her fb status, 2 sittings back and now im posting it here again......

"Thomas Edison had failed a thousand times but ive only failed 3 times!!!!!"

tomorrow...

2011-08-21T22:19:00.005+08:00

22nd august 2011...

that word 'tomorrow' juz reminded me about Tamara Goodwill from the 'Book of Tomorrow' written by Cecelia Ahern...but having a book telling me that what tomorrow brings wouldnt help me any better as i'll still be in this state, being so anxious and worried and scared...

i think im having phobia about results now....im just so afraid of seeing that 'fail' word....for many days im having that 'fail' word haunting me and im still having my results slip for the past sitting stuck on my study table...im having a really really bad feeling about tomorrow....

i told my family that im scared....they just console me with 'it's-okays' and 'what has been done is done'...no..none of those words helped....even when i told my friends about it, the same thing....'it's ok' 'it'll be fine!' 'you can make it this time wan lah'...none of it helped...rmb i told about me preferred being left alone at times?this is like one of the examples....smtimes when ure in ur deepest sh*t of life, u might have lotsa pple supporting you...but it all depends on how the individual look at things...i dunno..all i know is that im preparing myself for the very worst outcome i.e: failing ALL papers....

d next post, it'll be me consoling myself about it....as usual..pathetic right?im only gonna check my results @ night....shutting myself from the world...all the best in your results guys.... T.T

this night isnt sparkling anymore....gonna let it go....the best place to rant is through blogging where u'll receive no comments and all...all i want is just to have you to listen...and u already did...thanks :)

andrea came over to pass me smthing that she bought frm thailand for me...it was lovely and she wrote me a love letter what was so sweet :) (and smelt sweet too lol). loving it.and...the opening of the letter was lyrics from 'enchanted' :) ah well....im having that THING dangling on my phone now....dont get jealous!:D

i think im just gonna sleep through the day...nights all...

life is not just about DEATH....

2011-08-15T22:28:00.004+08:00

i was just glancing through the pictures from the blog....bittersweet memories came rushing back......

im not extremely close to him....nor i know him very well..but those times that i laughed countlessly with them, is that one thing i'll never forget....this post, is specially dedicated to the late Lion Gurcharan Sigh of Lions Club of Ipoh Riverview.....

I’ll never forget the way Lion Lau teased and calling him “Gucci” and I’ll be there laughing non-stop….alright….im actually typing this for the 2nd time cuz the 1st one that ityped FAILED to be published and that whole long thing just went missing =.= it’s just sooooo frustratinggg urhgghh….i still want to blog this out and I know it wont be better than the 1st one but still, I wanna make this post sincere…..

when Lion Lau smsed all members about Lion Gurcharan, my sis and I was just DUMSTRUCK……we were too shocked to say anything….it was just too sudden…way too sudden…..before all these, he looked so healthy and strong……

well…my first news about someone I knew passed away was my english teacher...... i was 10….i guess I was too young back then…..but at that age, I definitely could feel the pain of her husband (also my English teacher) when he told us about that…..he was a really good joker that could make the class roar out of laughter….but those jokes lessen when she was sick.....after she passed away, he stopped teaching.....and the 2nd one was my guitar teacher......back in high school, my friends will name him "the bookshop man"....he was the bookshop man of our school...always playing guitar in his small bookshop during his free time and even performed to entertain the students in his bookshop.....my siblings and i had lessons with him in his church..he was REALLY GOOD (especially his plucking skills). and so that's why i learnt plucking from him cuz according to him, i'll develop my strmming skills eventually.....till this day, his churchmates told us that he was sick........we didnt get to see him after that....and on a monday morning.....the principal announced to the school that he passed away........

when we still have all the seconds, minutes, hours, days, months and years to live on, days that Lion Gurcharan had before, he tried to make full use of them to help others, hoping that whatever he was offering to will give them a better life, hoping that it will change their lives.........when some keeps
complaining how much they HATED THINGS THAT THEY ALREADY HAVE.....
complaining HOW THEY HATE THEIR LIFE.....
how they feel like KILLING THEMSELVES....
how they hated their parents and CURSING THEM IN SOCIAL NETWORKS....
HOW THEY WISHED TO BE LIKE SOMEONE ELSE...
keeps JUDGING HOW THAT GIRL ACTS LIKE A B*TCH/SL*T (u name it) AND HOW THAT GUY ACTS LIKE A J*RK/D*CK ETC ETC ETCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC

seriously DONT YOU THINK IT'S A WASTE OF TIMEEEEEEEEE????? T.T i mean come on..you dont even know what 2mrw will bring.....you dont know how long you'll live for and how long pple around you will live for......i couldnt even rmb what was my last words to Lion Gurcharan...all i rmbed was saying "Hello" =.= (yeah it's dat bad) and Lion Lau began teasing him, calling him a "Doctor" and i'll be there laughing.......what if you said smthing mean to someone and that was the last words that you said to them??yeah...you'll regret like nobodysbiz and you wished to take those words back.........

i know im not as active as other members in that club...im trying my best to contribute anything i can...Lion Gurcharan was the oldest in the club and i was the youngest......and Lion Lau always tell others jokingly that i'm the oldest and Lion Gurcharan was the youngest ;) the age gap of the members in our club was so unique that it kinda make us different from the others..well...we are different.....from the moment i joined the club i felt so welcomed....i blend in with other Lions so perfectly because they were all so friendly......

from the moment when our club was just a branch club (that was due to the insufficient charted members to charter our club) of Lions Club of Sunway, we're now a fully established club.......it was kinda sad that Lion Gurcharan wasnt here to witness this miracle with us....everything that he had contributed to the club when we were only a branch club, will be greatly remembered......now that we're a fully established club, there'll be a long way for us to continue creating histories.....although Lion Gurcharan wasnt here to create those history with us, he'll watch us from above, feeling proud.....he'll always be remembered by all of us and will forever be a part of the club....we miss you Lion Gurcharan.....

the Lions in my club showed me the true meaning of Lionism...other than my DAD of course.....dont you know?he was a Lion member too :) that was before he decided to give up his posts and everything for the family....

http://lionsclubofipohriverview.blogspot.com/
here's a link of our club's blog if you're intrested :) try spotting Lion Gurcharan....he's a very nice man.

that's all from me now.just remember to live your life without regrets.

life is a box of chocolates....you'll never know what you get.
~forrest gump~

dont feel like it...

2011-08-07T01:37:00.004+08:00

sometimes you dont know what you want but when finally u realized that you want it, it's gone....

by now you should know that once i blog like in d middle of d night, there'll be lotsa things running through my mind...one of those 'things' of cuz, my exams....when every1 around me started talking about what will happen on the 22nd August, my heart skipped a beat and that uneasy feeling juz came rushing in....still im trying to force myself into a smile....at times when i think about it, i really do feel like crying....BUT I JUZ CANT. im not that type that'll cry easily to be honest.....well...ok let me restate that. lol.

i wont cry for things that i know that there will b no chance for me to turn back....i cry when im happy, when i feel blessed, when im touched....sometimes, i'll cry when im angry..i cried when my dogs died....i cried when i realised that ive hurt my family members.....but in the sense of exams, i rarely cry.....smtimes i juz wish that i could cuz i'll feel much mre better about it...but I CANT. to be really honest....im really really reaalllyyyy scared about the results.....it's nt that im having negative thoughts but i juz dont want to give myself too high hopes or else i'll really end up breaking down.FOR REAL.

i knw some..oh well..MANY of u might think that im a NERD and all i the things that i cared about in the world is only about my exams, studies...exams and exams and exams (like as if i live and sleep wit it....uh..which is partly true=.=). well you see.....exams may not be like the biggest thing in the world but it is important....to me at least....sometimes ive come to think about those who detests exams and studies and keep saying things like they're useless and all...maybe juz take a moment and think about it. are u making that statement up juz bcuz ure not good in it, thus trying to find an excuse to escape...or..are they really that useless??u know the answer urself....

look....im not an accounts freak or anything....juz whenever pple see me studying they'll think that i love accounts SO MUCH and keep telling me how boring it is and all, HEY I KNOW THAT OKAY?ACCA is NOT JUZ ABOUT ACCOUNTS.the reason i wanted to take this course is that hoping that i can learn mre about d biz world and open myself to mre opportunities instead of restricting myself to one major specific field.I HATE ACCOUNTING ALRIGHT=.=so dont be surprise if i ended up having a job unrelated to this.

i dont know....exams are always important to me.in the future for sure i want my children to excel in their studies too.things that u see about me 'only studying' is just a part of me that you see. i dont necessarily need to like put down every single thing i do in my life here right?i know how to balance my life with mre meaningful things thankyouverymuch.i may not have the time like others who can watch series and series of dramas, movies, hanging out wit friends for like everyday, having unlimited freedom and can do whatever they want to like a boss, BUT im still adding value into my life doing things that i feel that it's mre worth it. my way of having fun, cud be juz doing it all alone.i entertain myself with musical instruments and books. singing. and smtimes, sitting alone thinking.that's juz how i pass my time. going out for movies, karaoke and all, will be juz my second choice(cuz we all need to socialize rite?).

look....im not a loner alrite...it's juz that smtimes when i come to a certain stage, i preferred to be left alone.juz seeing things happen around me, i feel like i need a peace of mind, some time of my own and think about everything. i'll juz feel like locking myself out of the world, staying away from social networks, spend mre time wit my family and help my dad wit his works and strategies. everynight before i go to bed, i'll always recall about what happened during the day. things that ive said that i wish i could take back...things that ive done that i wish i wouldnt have....people i met, things othrs told me,all the conversations,everything....

i may look like a positive thinker frm the outside...things ive tweeted and blogged and said....one thing about me is that i'll always try to motivate myself and stay positive...but if you try looking deeper, everything that im trying to tell myself, to remind myself, to motivate myself....theyre juz all my WEAKNESSES....

they're juz words of wisdom/motivation in disguise....if im not weak, i dont necessarily need to motivate and post and repost those quotes to remind myself that much right?i really dont care how othrs will judge me.all i care about is how my family and myself judge me.dont get me wrong.whenever i put smthing like this every1 will have the misconception that my family members are putting pressure on me.they dont alright...they're all every supportive of me although smtimes they do doubt the effort that ive put in.but that's not the reason why i push myself to work harder.the reason is, I DONT WANT TO LET THEM DOWN.i dont wanna let my family down.i dont wanna let my lecturers down.i dont wanna let myself down.....

it's not like im benchmarking myself against othrs...or having too high hopes on myself...but AT LEAST....let my effort pays off....everytime when i think of failing any papers this round, the feeling is almost unberable...i'll juz have to close my eyes and take a deep breath telling myself that i'll accept whatever the outcome is and everything will be okay(literally).no joke.

smtimes when things dont feel right, i'l juz sleep off it.telling doesnt help me solve it.so better to keep it quiet and live my day normally.and smtimes...i really dont knw who to trust...telling seems so wrong...not telling seems wrong too.so better to blahhh everything out here rite.i knw there are things u pple r not telling me.i may not say it out but u know it best.juz be honest wit me.

for the last paragraph...i'l juz like to remind myself again.CARE LESS.TRUST LESS.MORE SCEPTICAL. you cant juz live in this world wit an innocent heart. u gotta adapt urself wit d enviroment ure living in.juz like business strategy.changing according to the enviroment or else u'll be knocked out by ur competitors.same principle, same application.

goodnight.i cant believe that u actually read till the end.but thanks for reading though..

there's a place for us.....

2011-07-27T11:33:00.004+08:00

we can be the kings and queens of anything IF WE BELIEVE....it's written in the stars that shine above....

well....these videos explained everything?? :D IM JUZ SO ADDICTED TO THIS SONG NOWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!

the girl the eye..and a note to God..

2011-07-17T12:36:00.008+08:00

sometimes, u'll be deceived by your own desires and your own heart...you just gotta see it...

she was lying on her bed with her chin above her hand.....her notebook was widespread and she was holding a black ink pen on her another hand....there were writings on that notebook and her writings were smeared by what i assumed- TEARS.....

"dear Lord, if it's a test u're giving me, i will make sure i pass this test although it won't be easy. "

these were the words she wrote.......behind this very simple message to God, there're thousands of meaning behind it.....every word was written sincerely...and behind every letter, pain stabbed through her heart......crying inside, she stayed strong......

lil did they know, she held on for too long...far too long.....when no one seemed to understand her feelings, she's still holding on to him.....when everyone on earth calls her stupid for holding on to him, yet....there she was again, STILL holding on to him.......

that guy who broke her heart, was the one once who made her cry out of happiness when he sang to her through the phone......she just couldnt get rid of all the beautiful memories that they once had.......everyone could see how much she loves him......everyone, EXCEPT HIM.

she could do anything for him.......every lil piece of her effort and all the things she did for him seemed like they've been thrown into the trash........why didnt he appreciate them?well...if he DID appreciate everything that she had done for him, this isnt the right way to treat her right?if he DID appreciate her, he wouldnt have left her suffering this way and being ignorant about everything she had been going through right?

deep down inside she knew the truth......no matter how hard is it to accept, she kept telling herself "nevermind" and "it's ok".....when her friends asked her how she's been doing, she'll just tell them that "i'm fine". She refused to tell everyone what she's been going through because everyone seemed to be against him and her......and she's sick proving to everyone that he's a good guy because that was what she believed in.......afterall...it's between him and her.....

about that note she had written.......cant you just sense that's what she wanted??she wanted him back.....after holding on for so long, she's still holding on to him........she had faith that one day, she'll win his heart......the way she do things, her decisions, things she believed in..they're all made up from her own desires, smthing that she really really wanted......God may be putting her through a test....God may want her to learn to fight for something that she wants and loves....but what if.......God was actually telling her to move on without him?what if God was trying to show her that she deserved some other better person? or even trying to make her learn how to let go and move on??? i mean c'mon...after all these YEARS??? she might fail to see this as these were the outcomes that she would not want to accept....it's not smthing that she wanted....of all the possibilities, she chose that God had put her into a test.........

no one dared to break her heart anymre when they knew that her heart was already broken......who actually dared to put another stab into a heart that've been shattered into pieces?if that's what she hoped for, i believed that everyone will respect her decision.....it will be unethical to destroy someone's hopes and dreams......am i not right?will you like it if there's someone who come over and tell you "hey, ur dream stinks.....stop dreaming about it and live in reality..." NO.I DONT THINK I'LL LIKE IT EITHER......and i believed that everyone would want her to live her life happily and hoping that there will not be anymore tear-stained notes.....they would also want her to stay strong and of course, they cant do anything except supporting her in everyways they could.....

look.....im just a story teller you see.......this is the first time ive met her and all of these is just a part of my story.....stories might be facts....and they might be fiction too.....it's not that i knew her very well, there're just assumptions that im making......im telling you things by my perspective and i'll just leave you to judge.......in every story, there's a lesson.....and they will not be told by accident.......

i went nearer towards her and she looked up.......no......she wasnt the girl from the green room....looking into her eyes, there's just a story untold......i just knew it.....

as usual, no one noticed my presence.......lil did she know, i was there watching her every step......just like what i did to that girl from the green room.......

you were right there for me....

2011-06-29T23:50:00.004+08:00

alwaysssssss............

i love this song A LOT....lyrics is OWLLLLSOMEEEEEEEEEEEE :D and listening to it while watchin the MV makes me feel like watching the movie again...and tears will start pouring T.T i LOVE touching stories...LOL my all time favs are those adopted from books especially NICHOLAS SPARKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! well..normally i prefer books than movies =.=

When I think back on these times
And the dreams we left behind
I'll be glad 'cause I was blessed to get
To have you in my life
When I look back on these days
I'll look and see your face
You were right there for me

In my dreams
I'll always see you soar above the sky
In my heart there will always be a place
For you for all my life
I'll keep a part
Of you with me
And everywhere I am
There you'll be
And everywhere I am
There you'll be

Well you showed me how it feels
To feel the sky
Within my reach
And I always
Will remember all
The strength you
Gave to me
Your love made me
Make it through
Oh, I owe so much to you
You were right there for me

'Cause I always saw in you
My light, my strength
And I want to thank you
Now for all the ways
You were right there for me
You were right there for me
For always

In my dreams
I'll always see you soar
Above the sky
In my heart
There will always be a place
For you for all my life
I'll keep a part
Of you with me
And everywhere I am
There you'll be
And everywhere I am
There you'll be
There you'll be

the girl who protects her friends like a BROTHER

2011-06-28T15:08:00.002+08:00

surely you know who im talking about :)

from a lil girl who loves wearing skirts, she transformed into someone who acts like a GUY and then to someone VERY FEMININE (THOUGH STILL ACT A LIL LIKE A GUY =.= ) HAAHAAHAHAHAHHAHA hey..THAT'S ME TOO!!! i mean...when i was lil, i love wearing skirts and dresses...and when i reached primary school till i was like 16, I HATE WEARING DRESSES AND SKIRTS =.= it was the time of BIG TEES AND BAGGY PANTS!!!AND WEARING DRESSES AND SKIRTS ARE SOOOOO NOT COOL HAHHAHAHAHHHAHA and now, i love wearing almost anything i find nice :D GEEHEEE okay lets no go out of topic =.=

MISS KHONG KAR MUN, THIS BLOG POST IS SPECIALLY FOR YOU!!!!!! wasnt intended to blog again but since i have the time NOW, GOTTA MAKE USE OF IT or else God knows when i'll have the time to blog again LOL this is kinda adhoc cuz i was browing tru my emails when i saw a mail titled "KARMUN'S CHILDHOOD PICS" from AMY HOO KAH YAN @.@ in that email, she apologized for d late reply and told me that in these pics, karmun was around 12 :D I ALMOST SCREAMED AS I SAW THESE. that email was dated 25th =.= if i checked my mail on that date, i would have included these pics into that video too T.T goshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

to be very frank, i wasnt really close to karmun during primary school or during secondary school....well....we know that we EXIST in the first place..LOL MORE LIKE HI-BYE friends (although we're in the same class in primary school and ALMOST ended up in the same class in secondary school). we started to get close after form 5. and i still remembered that outing we had with za tammy and her boyfriend to JJ when time was kinda limited for me =.= and they bought some bangles thingy and i bought a stainless steal ring....i wonder wthr they rmbed that or not LOL and we took those photobooth photos togthr too :)

as time goes by, we got closer...mainly because of tammy....the whole gang will come over to my house to stay over (that's like the only way they can spend a night wit me cuz i cudnt get out ot nite =.=) and we did lotsa stupid things 2ghtr......we had a video of it too HAHAHHAHAHAH

one thing that she did for me that i will not forget in my entire life, was when she purposely DROVE ALL THE WAY TO MY DAD'S OFFICE TO ASK PERMISSION FROM MY DAD TO GIMME A SURPRISE BDAY CELEBRATION @ MY HOUSE AT MIDNIGHT @.@ i was really unaware that time.......and she was really daring and i was really speechless that she actually dared to ask permission from my dad like that......and my whole family ACTUALLY knew about them giving me a surprise....that was really a night that i couldnt forget and it was really funny how mum kinda asked me to get dressed and all HAHAHAHAAH YOU CAN READ THE WHOLE STORY HERE

you see, the 6 of us, we're different in our own ways.....u'll be surprise how different we can be and yet we can still click with each other.......we learn from each other mistakes and we learn to tolerate with each other....we learn how to love, forgive and perhaps, forget......there are some things that had happened that we may not forget, but instead, it became a lesson to everyone.....

karmun....through these years ive known her, she's someone who truly values friendship.....try bullying anyone of us, she'll hunt you down like a GUY.....man...really...dont u dare mess wit her LOL (p/s: adrea too...dont mess wit her HAHA). you treat her the right way, she'll treat you 10 times better than you do....she might looked aggressive in some ways but let me tell you one thing...among all of us, she has the SOFTEST HEART.....im sure the others will agree with me too......she might look "strong" and "hard" but if smthing really happened to her loved ones, she can really break down very easily(more easily than anyone of us)..........it's just that im kinda disappointed to those who doesnt really appreciate her and doesnt seem to see this part of her......so, you humans out there....DONT YOU DARE BULLY HER TOO OR ELSE I'LL COME HUNT YOU DOWN LIKE A GUY TOO!!!!HAHHAAHAH

like any other, of course we had our conflicts......... she mightve said things that hurt me and i mightve said things that hurt her too......either ways, we both know that we still love each other.....so mun if ure reading this, i really have no hard feelings about that already okay?(in case if ure still doubting about it) im glad that everything was now back to normal.....people makes mistakes and we're not perfect........

all the crazy times we had and all those times she made me laugh like mad, they're priceless.....LOL there's really no point blogging about "deep-things"' when we both already know how much we meant for each other...........so......let's us just enjoy THESE photos before she start crying again =.=

you can finally see the "guy-ish" part of her!!AHAHAHAH AND SEE WHO ELSE IS IN THIS PHOTOOOO??!!!!!!!!!!!!! NERRIZA CHOOOOOOIIIII AHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAA

SMILE LIKE THIS ALWAYS. HAPPY 21ST AGAIN GIRLFRIEND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOVINGYOULIKENOBODYSBIZ

they have been living ON EARTH for 21 years now

2011-06-28T11:27:00.003+08:00

this is how it goes...... :)

despite my SUPER BUSYYYYYY SCHEDULE, ive finally completed THIS @.@ u just cant imagine how i tried finding time to record and practise and get those photos and get all this done =.= was actually supposed to post this on 26th June 2011, Sunday(which was karmun's birthday) but it was HECTIC over the weekends!!! after like a week of working NON STOP for dad, he finally allows me to have some days off!!!! SOOOOOO KIND OF HIM RIGHTTT HAHAHAHAHAH hardwork pays off!!!!

before getting into how i get this done, just let me tell you briefly about what happened during the weekends :D went to Eunice's surprise birthday party and then to JJ to meet the Gang!!!! za came to my house to overnight and we did all sorts of girly stuffs 2gthr :D and talked and talked and talked till finally i realized that she was not talking anymre and she was dozing off =.= d ori plan was that we will do a cover 2gthr but we were both too tired and LAZY so ended up trying on my clothes, camwhoring and chat :) chatting is always the best part HAHA

a few days before za's bday, i was already planning on this video......planning about what song to sing and all with ANDREA ONG AKA DREABII AKA MY WIFE/HUSBAND....at first, planning to sing WHAT THE HELL BY AVRIL (YEAH HAHAHAHAH CUZ I THOUGHT THAT IT WOULD BE FUN TO SING THIS SONG!!!and munbii lovesssss AVRIL AHAHA) with the video of me and andrea doing some graffiti BUT, so much work.....she gotta go to camerons for work and i gotta help my dad in HIS WORK so it's kinda hard for us to meet up to do all these.....moreover, my wife thinks that the son was KINDA INAPPROPRIATE.......

and there's this day i was just randomly playing some songs and WAITING OUTSIDE THE LINES WAS PLAYED......it strikes me just like that and i msged andrea instantly and told her that we're gonna sing WAITING OUTSIDE THE LINES instead......the lyrics were inspiring and za loves this song a lot..haha so in the end, this is the song we chose...try google-ing the lyrics and u''ll love this song HAHA i tried playing the piano and guitar and practise for like 5-10minutes a day (hardly can find to to practise =.=) and finally tried making a rough cover of that song to andrea to let her record her voice and EMAIL it back to me so that i can combine our voices 2ghtr =.= SEE THE AMOUNT OF WORK WE GOTTA DO LOLOLOL and just forget about that editing part for the sound clip.....i practically gotta amplify drea's recorded clip for like FOUR TIMES cuz she recorded her voice using the phone.....and the mixing part was a nightmare LOL that explains the "out-of-temponess" but overall, HEY WE ACTUALLY DID GREATTTT HAHAHAHAHAH *PATS ON SHOULDERS* :D that's all for the music part....

for those photos...foiiiyohhhh DAMN GAN JEONG I TELL YOU.......i msged like almost everyone hu's close to ZA AND KARMUN to ask them for their CHILDHOOD PHOTO and gotta like make sure that they doesnt know about it all......ALL OF YOU WHO ARE INVOLVED, MAN YOU DID A REALLLYYYY REALLLLYYYY GOOD JOB!!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHAH to Norris and Kar Yee, thanks for taking the time to help me DIG for your SISTER'S PHOTOS!!HAHHAHAH IT WAS SOOOOO WORTH IT :D and to yaw (karmun' bf), thanks for helping me contacting karyee and all :) and to kevin if ure reading this, sorry for not involving you or smthing..you know the reason why :) or else i would have included you in that video too...THOUSANDS APOLOGIES FROM ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

it was a saturday when i contacted norris.........and LUCKILY, za was back in ipoh or else ive no idea how to contact norris (cuz they dont have a PC @ home and i dont know whre za stays and i dont have her house number and all =.=). n i knew that that day she's going out with JOEY cuz dey wanna hunt for PRESENTS HAHAHAHAHAHA AND I KNOW THAT WHEN SHE'S NOT AT HOME, HER BRO WILL BE CONTROLLING AND SO, ALL THE PLANNING STARTS.....the next day (SUNDAY, 19th JUNE 2011) will be her 21ST BIRTHDAY....and it so happens that her whole family will go to church.....so my plan and Norris's plan is to meet up in church and MUAHAHAHAHAHAH PASSING ME HER PHOTOS and that day, i gave her a surprise by buying her a cake and celebrate wit her wit her family in her CHURCH (that was actually ad hoc...the real plan was to get the photos hahhahaha) AND HELL YEAH SHE WAS SURPRISED TO SEE ME TILL SHE DIDNT EVEN SEE MY CAR SO STRIKING-LY PARKED IN THE CHURCH AND EVEN KINDA WALKED PAST ME AND MAKE ME LOOK AT HER LIKE THIS =.= . was even having the cake on the table =.= aduiii za, top being so BLUR HAHHAHAHAHAHAHA camwhored a while befoore i rushed home again :D

as for karmun's case, i dont need to rush here and there cuz her lil sis is kind enough to EMAIL me OVER 100 + PHOTOS!!! and i think im troubling her cuz she gotta scan/take pics of those photos and compressed them into a file and emailed em to me. THANKSSS!!! AND I HAD SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH FUN VIEWING THOSE PHOTOS CUZ LIL KARMUN WAS SOOOOOOOOOOOO FREAKING CUTEEE!!AHAHHAHAHAHAHA THANKS SO MUCH KARYEE!!!!! and of those photos, i gotta choose some to put in that video.....

then, FB PHOTO ~~STALKING~~ INTENSE RESEARCHING. MARY LIEW is kind enough to upload some photos of hers that she took wit za and norris and only viewable for me :D HAHAAHAHAHAHA ~~STALKED~~ INTENSE RESEARCHED ZA'S AND KARMUN'S PHOTOS FOR SOME CURRENT ONES and i even stalked my own album =.=

after everything set, VIDEO MAKING PROCESS @.@ another troublesome part....photo captions, video effects, transitions and all...PHEWWWW TOOK ME HOURSSSSS @.@ luckily that day (yesterday) when i was doing it was when my dad doesnt have the mood to work and he was RESTING and i made it as fast as my fingers could click the mouse LOL and then, publishing it.......around 10 minutes to publish and ONE HOUR TO UPLOAD IT IN FB =.=

then......waited for them to view the video and i got a call from za and karmun was like commenting on that video..at the end of the day, it was all worth it HAHAHHA N IM TYPING THIS AS FAST AS MY FINGERS COULD TAKE ME!!! NO TIME TO REREAD AND ALL SO FORGIVE ALL MY GRAMMAR MISTAKES BLAAABLAAAA BYEEE HAHAHAHAHAH YOUKNOWILOVEYOU :)

the girl who held my hand on stage......

2011-06-18T23:44:00.006+08:00

you know who you are :)

it'll be absurd for me to start blogging from the beginning till the end from the moment we started knowing each other (since there will be NO ENDING =.=) like since we were.....uhm 10???LOL WE'RE LIKE A DECADE OLDER NOWWWW!!!!HAAHAAHAA and OBVIOUSLY we've transformed from an ugly duckling into a SWAN (i know this is what you wanna hear the most RIGHHHHTT PERASAN QUEEN =.=)

well....my first time singing on stage was with her......the moments that we practised countless times in class and in the SCHOOL FIELD......with me messing up all the lyrics and tempo and she was the one who helped me make it right......it was IU day....we sang "terlalu istimewa".. the song that NEVER fails to remind me of her.....just forget about the sweeetttt and touching melody of that song, it makes me missed high school too =.= lol i dont wanna go into "missing high school" issue now cuz THAT'S NOT THE POINT IM BLOGGING FOR NOW!!!! i may be a music lover, i may love performing but as you all know, once im on stage, i'll tend to messed everything up.....it's not that im having stage fright.....but the fact is, I GET NERVOUS EASILY (uhmm..it's different from stage fright rite??=.=) i still remember the first time singing on stage with her....and the moments we got ready before going ON STAGE.....i kept telling her that im nervous and might mess things up.....and she was like "dont worry so muchhhhh!!it'll be ok wan laaaaaa..." and i'll continue telling her that im nervous and she'll tell me d same thing over and over again.....so if you do know me REAL LIFE, you mightve counted how many times she'll reply me HAHAHAHA as we were singing on stage, she could probably sense that im STILL NERVOUS =.= and so, she held out her hand....my hands were COLD at that time....feeling the warmth of her hand, it finally turned everything hetter.....well..iwasnt sure wthr that "holding hands" thing was a part of the plan of our performance or not BUT the main thing is that, she held mine.......

the 2nd song that we sang on stage was "only hope" by mandy moore obviously :) i was coping better with it on stage.....it was not an easy song to sing LOL and then, we sang for my uncle's wedding "THERE YOU'LL BE" FAITH HILL......that lyrics of that song, somehow represents the both of us..in a weird way...ok it's hard to explain but surely she get what i mean HAHHAHAHA looking at those days we were on STAGE.....and OFF STAGE.....were 2 different moments......on stage when we have our eye contact during the performances, i dunno wthr she feels it or not but i'll get the im-so-thankful-to-have-you-here and im-so-proud-to-be-on-stage-with-you kind of feeling......and OFF STAGE, we're 2 normal humans again LOL and during phonecalls and online chatting when she made me LAUGH-SILENTLY =.= she never fails to make me feel better in times when i feel like yelling and screaming.....

both of us have a passion in music...she can DEFINATELY sing beetter than me LOL and those covers that we made (YOUVE NO IDEA HOW MANY TIMES WEVE RECORDED TILL WE GET IT PERFECT) were like our "big projects" and everytime when we talk about making a new cover, we'll get all excited up and start practising on our own....it's really difficult to find time to do all these recording mainly because we're both SO BUSY and BOTH OUR DADS ARE KINGS =.= WELL YOU GET WHAT I MEAN and so, MUAHAHAHAHAHH WE HAVE PLANS.YOU KNOW.LIKE THOSE "SPYING" KIND OF THING WHEN WE PLANNED EVERYTHING OUT FROM A-Z???GEEHEEHHEHEHEHE dont look @ me like that.we're NOT SNEAKING!!!!!!LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

and there was this time, before my exams this year, we had an outing 2gthr. JUST ME AND HER. we might live our life in a different way but both of us have the same dream. those times when we encouraged each other to hold on to whatever we were doing and staying strong.....ive been struggling with my exams and she was struggling with hers.........but we both NEVER regret for what we've chosen.....at some point of time, we may get tired of it and there might be a time where we broke down......that outing with her, was when i finally broke down.......

we were having a karaoke session in jusco......she's a big fan of mariah carey you see.....and she was singing ALMOST ALL mariah's songs that day and till this song came "through the rain"....ive heard of this song before but not the lyrics..she kept telling me that she love the lyrics a lot and she smtimes feel like crying listening to it...then she started singing.....i watched the lyrics on the screen and when the chorus started, my tears started pouring out........that feeling was just the same when i cried last year during my birthday celebration with my college friends cuz i was TOUCHED......but this time, i dunno why.....i broke down just like that and i couldnt control my tears and kept "OMG-ing" and laughing and......she held my hand when she sings again......

and then we song "when you believe" by mariah and whitney. we were holding hands again and sang like as if we're on stage LOL that feeling was just so good you know?!screaming our lungs out and all...gosh i hope that i could do it again wit her again......

it's her 21st birthday today.......there's nothing for me to hope for except that i want everything to be the best for her.......things that she's going through now......those dreams that she has to let go........i hope God could see how much she has been doing for her family.......

adui i kept on backspacing the words @.@ i dont wanna go with all those im-so-thankful-to-have-a-friend-like-her thing cuz obviously it couldnt express how really thankful i am......we had our bad times just like how any other best friends had theirs BUT we solved them face to face and be frank with each other......the longest period when we have our cold war was for like a week???LOLOLOLOLOL thinking about that and how we confront each other just make me smile instead of feeling bad or smthing LOL cuz this is the way it should be right?and i think that was d ONLY TIME we had that cold war thing.....not really cold war aso =.= it's not even smthing serious hahaa

and not to forget about the times we had in high school when she was the class monitor n i was the treasurer and those times when we did most of the things for our class teacher togthr (THAT INCLUDES TYPING FOR YOUR SURAT BERHENTI SEKOLAH HAHHAHAHA) whoootss THERE GOES THE SECRET.

well...ive been typing for like ONE HOUR NOW @.@ so....

Dear Za,

life is just like your life performance :) you get what i mean...........never give up on urself and hey, confidence is smthing that you shouldnt lose......one day we'll be able to make it. i promise you that. ive no idea what else to type after the sms hAHAAHA well...happy 21st again......ure stepping into d adult world months earlier than me so dont go too far or else i cant catch up wit you!!!!! it's gonna be a different year for you......so dont be afraid to face the future cuz ure a year wiser :) and a year prettier =.= LOL enjoy your day to the max!!!! AND YOU KNOW THAT I LOVE YOUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!thanks for holding my hand through my darkest times.....and u'll forever be my BEST SPY :D HAHAHAHAHAHAH oh yesss..thanks for holding my hand!!!! :D

the only person that i couldnt live without hearing, seeing or talking to her :D

we have the same passion in music......but..........i failed to make her learn guitar =.=

d person hu'll take silly pics wit me and make me laughlikenobodysbiz

the person who can make me SMILLEEEE and always gives me the reason to smile :)

the person hu'll hide wit me in a closet and camwhore 2gthr ;D

the person hu'll do this.......uhm........MONKEY FACE HAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH YES SHE ALWAYS REMINDS ME OF THAT BROWN MONKEY IN MSN HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

uhhhh......i dunno how to describe this photo

she's my SPY :D

isnt she adorableee WAHAHAHAHAHAH

AND YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS THIS IS HOW MUCH I LOVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE HERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR HHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

HAPPY 21ST BDAY NERRIZA CHOOI KIM LING/CHI/
ZABII/LAZAPOH/PERMAISURI PERASAN/ZACHOY

IKNOWYOULOVEMELIKENOBODYSBIZ:)

P/S: to those hu's reading this, fyi her fav colour is no other than the ALL MIGHTY

GREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNNNNNN

the girl the eye...the maple leaf....

2011-06-16T22:37:00.004+08:00

it's something you chose....or it may not be........

im in this place im not sure where.....heavy mist flooded the whole place....it's just different this time......i cant see her......the fact that i couldnt see her worries me....it's the exact feeling that u got from getting too used from seeing someone and one day when you woke up you realized that you couldnt see them anymre......i stayed alert and looked everywhere hoping that i could spot her in this misty place.......my pace quickened....i felt lost in this big space with nothing but mist......

just a second before i decided to give up looking for her, there stood this maple tree.......it was enchanting with the leaves burning red and i just stood there staring at it, with this feeling inside me....happy, sad, thankful.......mixed emotions.....these feeling just came out of control.......when i was standing there facinated by the tree, the wind came blowing gently....leaves began falling creating a scene of red rain pouring........it gives me the feeling of....hope......my worries were gone......i felt calm......

i let my mind drift away underneath the tree....im not sure what went through my mind....it was as though i wasnt thinking about anything leaving my mind BLANK.......when i gain back my consciousness, out of the mist, i saw a figure......i was so happy and my heart began pounding wildly.......i began walking towards the figure telling myself that ive found her.......my hands and feet were cold.......but as i got closer to that figure with all happy thoughts in my mind, it wasnt her......

it was him..........

no.....i wasnt disappointed.....i was just.....dumbstruck.......asthonished....dumbfounded.....you name it.....he was facinated by the tree as well.....i could see it from his eyes.......the way he watched the leaves falling, getting mermerized by it and letting his mind take him to where he wanted to be........the mist was thinner now......that place, that tree where it stood at, i'll let you do the imagination.....wthr it's situated on the grey pavements on the streets or in a big green field with nothing except the maple tree with maple leaves laid on the ground.......

the guy shifted his gaze from the tree to the leaves on the ground........smiling to himself he knelt down and reached out his hand towards a leaf.....the one that caught his attention......it wasnt one of the reddest......in fact, it was in a mixture of yellow, orange and red.....the shape of the maple leaf wasnt perfect.....one of it's edges was torn.......but still, it was the one that he chose...he held that delicate leaf carefully and studied it for a while before slipping it gently into his wallet thinking that someday, he might need it......

i stood there watching him walking away into the mist again..........i wasnt sure why he's the one i saw instead of the girl.....but of course, he didnt know that i was there watching him.....no one will ever notice my presence......

in life, there're lots of things that would leave a great impact on you...there will be choices.....there will be things that mightve remind you of smthing or someone, whenever or wherever you encountered them.....things around you will just keep on reminding you about that someone or something.....but there'll always be choices......

choices and options are given to you without you noticing.....taking an action on those unclear choices will eventually turning it into something absolute and making it obvious that it's a choice......choices arnt choices until youve decided to do something about it.....i know the way i put this will make you wonder what im trying to say.......try reading it twice and understand it with your heart......about the guy i saw, he has a lot of leaves to choose from....but he had chosen one of it, the imperfect one......by picking it up and keeping it into his wallet was his choice, an action taken by him.....all that i was trying to say is that, before choices are being taken into action, they're just mere opportunities.....opportunities are given to you till youve seized it, turning it into your choice......

your prayers could have been answered almost everyday in life because opportunities have always been given to you..it's just that sometimes you're too afraid to take an action on it or perhaps, uve been hoping too much till youve been blinded by just hoping and missed the opportunities that've laid before you......thus, it's just your choice to act this way.............

i have no idea how i got here, back into the green room again......i was standing there in the corner smiling as i saw the girl placing back her maple leaves into a purple box......she turned the lights off and climbed into her bed....as i watched her doing that, i was thinking to myself......"maybe this is my choice....." i stood there beside her bed, still being unnoticed.....

when you get a hand of applause...

2011-05-22T22:06:00.008+08:00

at least....say thank you =.=

well...let this video be the starter...

WARNING: this media might damage your eardrums. ive warned you.

BACK TO DECEMBER...the song ive been blogging and tweeted about...finally i had the chance to perform......

this video was taken during the AFC dinner held in ipoh royal's golf club(a function by my college).... performed 2 songs....back to december and innocence...a very special thanks to MR SIMON for videoing this up LOL and to yinyep for uploading that innocence video in facebook but cant really post it here cuz i dont have the embed code =.=

there're always mistakes in every of my performances.....i knew it from the very beginning frm the day before my performance....no matter how much ive played this song @ home and no matter how much i get used to this song, there bound to be mistakes(ignore the fact that i sound like a KID singing)......however, the BIGGEST mistake that i realized was.....i didnt give a single appreciation at the end of my performance, not even a simple thank you.......giving excuses about me being "so-freaking-nervous-on-stage-that-i-forgot" and "i-cant-wait-to-get-down-from-that-stage" wont exempt me from this appropriate behaviour =.= (seriously if there's smthing i could do, i would want to cut the last part of this video and paste it wit smthing mre courteous)

isnt it rude when your bunch of friends who are watching your performace, giving u all sorts of moral support and cheering for you and all you did was just smiling and walked off the stage JUST LIKE THAT?????i felt bad..REALLY BAD when i realized after watching my own performance again (MEANING I JUST REALIZED THAT A DAY AFTER WHEN THE VIDEO WAS UPLOADED =.= IM THAT BAD). was SUPPOSED to blog this out a LONG LONG time ago but i just couldnt find the time to do so. fine. im giving excuses again =.= my real intention to blog this out is to thank each and everyone of you who was there supporting me.....really...it meant a LOT to me......or else i wouldnt have the courage to do so.....THANK YOU.....

the next issue.....ive been thinking a lot lately.....about what will happen after my exams in june......the thing here is not about me passing my exams or not (cuz that's what probably cross ur mind as ive been desperately praying and HOPING that i'll get tru all the papers by this year) but that's really not the issue here......it's all about saying goodbyes and when-will-i-see-you-again.......just so you know..im not really good in saying goodbyes.....

lets recall...ive joined SYCI last year around july...lil did i know...this place could actually be so deeply carved into all my memories.....just like how high school did.....and especially how the every1 there had be a part of me now......im that type that i'll rmb all the encounters ive made, all the first conversations and how we became friends.....

the story of how a lecturer's marker pen be the starter of friendship between 2 girls....how FACEBOOK........alright dont give me that face LOL...facebook was actually one of the source that started the friendship between me and many of my friends(meeting new people makes me nervous)...how once all of you think that im EXTREMELY QUIET + INNOCENT (real life) and being NOISY in FACEBOOK....when now im like one of the NOISIEST both in REAL LIFE AND IN FACEBOOK. LOL i rmbed every lil detail of it....and besides facebook, and of course my blog (WHICH IM SURPRISED THAT SOME OF YOU ACTUALLY READ IT =.=) and my twitter acount helped me to start up some conversations with most of you and then the bonding begins......

we began to understand each other more.......went through lotsa things together....those QUIET ones are learning how to speak up (LOL YOU KNOW WHO IM REFERRING TO) and it was amazing that most of us (with me) shared the same interests......the lunches we went....from north to south and from east to west...you name it....the times when i refused to drive and you forced me to drive (still, you are the ones who drive me out most of the time LOL)....all the stupid conversations.....all the birthday surprises....all the performances and practices.....times in the library and in class + the latest, THE COMMON ROOM....the boot camp....times before and after exams...times before and after getting our results...words of encouragement and comfort......from smses to phone calls and inbox msges......the long talks about our pasts.....singing our lungs out during karaoke, watching movies that make us laugh till we can barely breathe.....EVERYTHING.....it's amazing how this short period of one year had let me experience all these with all of you....

you never fail to make me laugh and make me smile in times when i needed someone there for me.....you make me feel welcomed.....you try to stand all the awkwardness that i created and finally make everything not so awkward for me.....guide me when im in confusion (from studies to facts about life)......youpampermelikenobodysbiz LOL and tease me like my siblings......hit(in a good way) me like my siblings.....scold me like my dad and care for me like my mum.....there's nothing i more that i could ask for.....

*keep holding on by avril playing* really!!having the radio turned on and this song just being aired and make me mre emo @.@ well...."youre not alone, together we stand, i'll be by your side you know i'll take your hand" GARHHHHHHHHH =.= WITH YOU BY MY SIDE I''LL FIGHT AND DEFEND...keep holding on cuz you knw we're gonna make it thru....RAWWWRRRR I BETTER STOP OR ELSE I'LL ENDED UP BLOGGING D WHOLE SONG HERE.....was supposed to put some pics of our memories here.....but thre really too much to fit in this TINY LIL POST......i dont wanna name out anyone here cuz deep down inside, you should know that im referring to you=)

after this june...we wont be meeting each other as often as before....we wont have the chance to study together anymore.....some of you will be out of ur study life forever.....some might even be leaving this small town to somewhere big, catching your dreams.......THINGS will be different.....all i know i'll miss every single thing, every single detail VERY MUCH......these are like some things that i wont actually say out REAL LIFE.....bet you guys know it too....it's just too awkward for me to actually say all these face to face with you LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLL

whoaaaaaaaa WHAT ARE WORDS by chris medina is being played now =.= Y ALL SO EMO SONGS WANNNN GARHHHH what are words if you really dont mean them when you say them???what are words if they're only for good times then they dont?? @.@ you humans...listen....promise me that we'll keep in touch......i'll treasure all the memories that we had together.....RAAWWWWWRRR MYHEARTWILLGOONBEINGPLAYEDNOW =((((((((( i better end this post asap before bursting out in tears.....near...far....whereever you are....weh people..listen to red.fm 106.4 LOLOLLOL REALLY GOT LOTSA NICE SONGS WAN HAHAHHAHAHAHAH i know im extremely good in getting out of topic LOL

thanks for all the memories youve given me......and im sorry for all the things ive did/said to hurt anyone of you.....i know im being too straightfoward at times...and i talk what's on my mind witout caring how you'll feel......you might not show me that ure annoyed with what i did nor did you show me that ure angry or whatsoever....so.....im sorry....thanks for being thre for me and for all the countless helps youve given me....i appreciate it greatly.....i'll miss all of you =( and of cuz...I LOVEEEE ALL OF YOUUUUU!!!!!! *BIG BIG HUGS*

i remembered this conversation.....we were on our way back to college after lunch smwhre....
human1: so.....did you regret meeting us????

me: *short pause* YEAH.ESPECIALLY YOU.

human2: SHE'S LYING. she might be saying this but her heart says differently wannnnn.....

i stared out from the window, going past the green mountains and trees.....smiling to myself....deep inside....i replied....... "no...not at all..."

you know me too well........

*waiting outside the line by greysonchance being played now* all inspiring songs =) how ure gonna walk ahead if you keep living blind?? stuck in the same position..you deserve so much more....all the best to those who are taking their exams.....one day....u'll succeed =)

always remember.....

"life is just like your live performance......you got an applause at the beginning of your performance...as it goes on, you messed up......wrong chords...wrong lyrics.....out of tune.....you got nervous as people were watching you.....you felt so embarrassed and you felt like ure in your deepest sh*t.....however.....you didnt walk off the stage.....you got back in tune and began playing the piano again with the right chords and continued with a smile on your face, with confidence.....at the end of the performance, lil did you know....despite the mistakes you made.....you got an applause again.....from that moment onwards, you were glad that you made the decision to be on that stage....never did you regret for making the choice for standing on the stage the very place......"

dedicating this specially to nerrizachooi...never loose confidence in urself..i'll be here for ya =)

17mredaystillexams.....niganomubogoshippo.....

dreams are just dreams....

2011-05-14T16:50:00.004+08:00

i know i should stop but i couldnt stop those dreams.....

i wont mind having those dreams again...really....i dont mind at all...because they're all very pleasant and smtimes i just dont feel like waking up from it....i would wanna continue sleeping and keep dreaming but i just couldnt force myself to sleep again....have been dreaming for a consecutive days now.....

i had a hard time telling myself that it's just a DREAM...but it just felt so real to me.....and everytime when i wake up i wonder wthr u ever had dreams like mine....it's just silly...and i hate myself frm acting this way....

by just wanting to express my feelings in either this blog or through my twitter account, it feels so wrong now....i wont have a problem expressing it tru these 2 but now, it feels SO WRONG.SO VERY WRONG.....maybe i cared too much about what othrs would think after reading it all.....looking back at all my previous posts, ive been very positive, and used to have a very strong stand in everything i do....everything seems falling apart now.....

but no im not gonna break.....i mightve changed a LIL, but im not entirely a new person.....im still me..it's just that smtimes i got tired of guessing....trying to put all of these things aside might be a lil impossible for me =.= but d best that i can do is to force myself to focus on what matters most to me now....

ive always wanted to blog about 'the ending' of the story but im just too afraid that i would make a fool out of myself....by that time when i decided to post about it, it will be very clear that im referring to YOU....that's only if u still have d piece of memory with you.....

but if ive decided not to blog about it.....u will just be anthr encounter......smtimes i just wish that no1 had discovered my blog and my twitter account except you =.= u knw how annoying it is when im actually referring it to YOU but there're sm othrs out thre thought that im referring to THEM????=.= n that's like d anthr reason y i dare not simply post stuffs here n thre anymre =.= and d worst thing is...u may not have discovered this blog....this is like d most pathetic thing that has ever happened to me.....

to those who're actually reading this, read and forget all about it...dont ask....u know i wont tell...dont even try making a guess....

i gotta find mre time to blog about what had happened during d other days...d reunion with my dearests and d afc dinner=) 26 mre days till my exams.....

llitsgnissimuoyekilsydobonzibyllaicepsenehwi
klatsuoytsomlayreveetunim......

=)

2011-04-23T10:30:00.005+08:00

alright...i gave up...i cant live without blogging haha

life is great....i'll be performing ipoh royal golf club tonight=) n will be DANCING too mind you=.= have not been dancing since after high school and felt so stiff@.@ everytime when i want perfections in every of my performances, it usually turn out d other way round....wrong chords, wrong lyrics, going out of tempo, getting pitchy here n thre, wrong dance moves, forgetting dance moves...YOU NAME IT.it's frustrating in a way cuz i nvr seem to get it perfect no matter how much i practised.i guess i shud just surrender and keep my expectations low??i'll just enjoy myself during the night and appreciate all the times i struggled through.....aint about what's on the other side...IT'S THE CLIMB=) it's 2am and im cursing ur name...im so in love that i acted insane and that's the way i loved you=) wish me luck for 2nite!! Hell yeah im nervous...as usual.... u know i love you! It's out of topic.alright BYE

words left unsaid.....

2011-04-01T18:25:00.003+08:00

i'll spend forever wondering if you knew.....

just out of boredom=) lolllll N OMMMGGGGGOOSSSHHHH IVE JUZ DISCOVERED THAT I CAN UPLOAD PICS TO MY BLOG VIA MY PHONE =.= stupid rightttt.....

it's first of april today.....thanj God no one had d mood to prank but d whole class got pranked by our very own lecturer =.= had a really good time laughing in class today=) april is the month to accelerate!!! Planning to let my dad keep my phone @ nite so that i can concentrate fully on my revisions @.@ at least im doing this voluntarily.....not being forced!!

this pic here, is my phone wallpaper btw....please dont get sick of this.....ive been repeating the same thing all over my blog i knw...juz cant help it =)

blogging for nothing...

2011-03-23T17:10:00.002+08:00

when uve finally realized.....

im in my college library now....and i kinda agree to my lecturer that most westerners blogged about stuff that are useful to the public....and most pple here blog about anger and all (that reminds me of myself) ahahahahahah juz cant help it....n i knw i blogged too much rubbish =.= ah well....it's not like pple will read my blog anyway...it's juz a place for me to express my feelings that somehow, will make u feel annoyed reading like what im feeling about myself when i blog...yea...i think im annoying too...and according to him, too much twists and turns....IT'S SO LIKE ME AHAHAHAHAHA

so....this is more like a personal blog to me...and perhaps a 'diary' that's available for public =.= so...next time when ure planning to choose to read a blog, dont choose a blog like this...it'll only make u mre annoyed LOL

p4 or audit???=.= i dunno...but im not ready for p4 really....see what i mean???i cud juz suddenly jump into another topic LOL whoooottsss gotta go=)

scribbling and mumblings....

2011-03-22T23:07:00.002+08:00

the annoyingness of this feeling....

she was sitting in her room alone with her notes n books opened up, blasting songs that she wants to hear...it heals her soul...and all the time she'll be drifted back to all her memories, refiguring what she had said and done....she regretted it...i could tell it from the songs she chosed to listen to....

youve been good, busier than ever....
your guard is up and i know why....
you gave me roses and i left them there to die....
so this is me swallowing my pride standing in front of you saying im sorry for that night...n i'll go back to dec all the time....

well...that's just a song alright....about how she reacted and avoiding meeting eyes of those who passed by her wasnt intended....all she could do was to smile witout meeting eye to eye and, n she just went speechless....you must be wondering what im talking all about here...it's ok if you dont understand...she's complicated anyway....a lot of guessing work need to be done...and i hate it...dont you??

these days i havent been sleeping...
staying up playing back myself leaving....
when ur birthday passed and i didnt call...
and i think about summer all the beautiful times...
and then the cold came, the dark days when fear crept into my mind....
u gave me all ur love and all i gave you was goodbye....

she has been thinking a lot lately....no...it didnt leave....it's always there...it's juz that the way she acted made it looked like it left....she was juz doing that bcuz she feels that the chances are low.....and it's better to act this way than to give everyone false hopes and in d end the pain will be unbearable...afterall, she keeps reminding herself about what matters most now.....or at least to herself....humans had to be selfish at times...

so if the chain is on your door i understand......

things that she scribbled on her notepad.....lyrics and words that made her strong....songs that heals....a piano and guitar to comfort her...and a blog to hear her, she knws she'll be okay....

i fake a smile so he wont see.....

soon, she'll find what she has been looking for....but the very first thing she has to do is to find herself....search for those things that she has been dreaming for....dreams which are too high to achieve that she knows someday, she will be somewhere over there.....

i'll spend forever wondering if you knew, i was enchanted to meet you.....

what has been done, is done...juz let things go the way it is....let it come naturally....you'll never know what's gonna happen next....she always wonder.....

these are the words i held back...
as i was leaving too soon...
i was enchanted to meet you...
please dont be in love with someone else....
please dont have somebody waiting on you....=)

you ought to know it....yeah you...only if uve discovered this blog...im still undiscovered....not even the girl herself....

i need a lil more luck than a lil bit, cuz everytime i get stuck the words wont fit...and evertime i try i get tongue tied i need a lil gud luck to get me by this time....

TO THOSE WHO CALL THEMSELVES DOG LOVERS

2011-03-13T21:00:00.005+08:00

i'll tell you WHAT IT MEANS.......

there goes my patience...i JUST cant stand it any longer.....especially when i hear it from those that ive never seen them posting anything about how they 'love dogs' or expressing their concerns about dogs till they've watched sm videos about how loyal dogs are or probably when they've watched those well known movies about dogs eg: marley n me or hachiko.....or even after watching dogs being abused== well...all thanks to facebook but i think theyre juz REACTING ACCORDING TO TREND.....it's like after watching all these they've finally 'DECIDED' to 'LOVE DOGS' or perhaps they're merely making a statement out of it...IT'S FREAKING FAKE do you know that??????well, one thing is that maybe those videos/movies had made you realized how amazing dogs are/how cruel pple are BUT FORGOODNESSSAKE PLEASE STOP ACTING LIKE YOUVE LOVED DOGS all along when ure juz making that statement up right after watching d videos/movies.....

have you ever owned a dog in the very first place???you dont even know how it feels like to loose your dogs.....the pain is so unbearable till you vowed that that dog will be the last that ure gonna rear....dogs are not just 'cute + loyal'...they're smthing WAYYYYY MORE than that....keep one yourself and u'll knw what i mean...i have a friend that had the choice of getting a pair of 'branded dogs' for FREE and adopting some unbranded/abandoned dogs.....and obviously humans are fighting over to own those branded dogs and you know what she says???''since they are pple wanting to keep those branded dogs, let them keep it...i'll get those abandoned ones....'' THIS, is a good example being a dog lover.....

dogs dont choose their owners....whether ure ugly, old, lame or even blind, they'll serve u with all their hearts.....i juz feel that it's unfair for us to choose them, to judge them frm their appearance and all....if you claim that ure a dog lover, will you choose to keep a stray dog or a 'branded' one????just answer this question honestly....i believe that most of those who say 'I LOVE DOGS' it's just because they think that dogs are cute and adorable and probably loyal == yeah we all knew that rightttt?????

and it's like some keep dogs for showing offs......my dog is so pretty, i bought it for duno-how-many-k, it's so smart bleeeeeeeeblllaaaahhhhhh.....it's just smthing that i feel about some dog owners who did that...but whether those pple really do love dogs or not, they themselves know it best...before making up that statement that you LOVE dogs, think again....if you really do love dogs, love them the RIGHT way and treat all dogs THE SAME....stop picking on dogs like how ure picking on humans....if ure keeping a dog and u think that that dog is a nuisance, GIVE IT AWAY to sm1esle hu'll probably treat the dog better than you do.....they deserve it.....END OF STORY N I FEEL SO MUCH BETTER

pictures give a thousand words...

2011-03-11T20:44:00.002+08:00

maples and friends......
guitar, music sheets and lyrics.....

high school......

detaching...

2011-03-01T00:18:00.002+08:00

it means, letting go.....

cant help but to blog now....ive no idea what's gone into me today...nothing really happened but there's this uneasy feeling inside me...im not sure what it is....or maybe, im still wondering whether im still the person i used to be or not....

i dun have my laptop wit me so im juz blogging it this out wit my fon alone in my room now....i was really wondering...did i change???? i juz dont feel the same way i was anymore...i used to have a 'strong stand' but now everything seems SHAKY to me.....it's like...i feel lost in a way but i dunno what....after all the things ive been through, i might change in some ways....till smtimes i mightve caught in a dilemma about the choices i made...n usually, it's about TO care or NOT TO care.....

some pple around me are facing sm problems oF their own....and it's like, everytime when i get to knw about d problems that they're facing, i'll start asking myself to decide to care oR not to care....LAST TIME, i wont be facing such issues....cuz everytime i'll DEFINATELY care about it....but after some things happened around me, caring seems wrong....of course, this is a very subjective matter....everyone has their own views about caring....but i do believe that caring too much isnt right.....the problem now is that, im not quite sure about the 'amount' of care that i shud give to someone.....IVE NO IDEA how to 'quantify' the amount of care....can it possibly be quantify?????

after those incidents, i really did got tired about caring for othrs...trying to get the distance right is not easy...trying to make sure that care doesnt turn into annoyance is even harder....trying to make pple think that u truly care rather than poking ur nose into every matter is d hardest.....n that is why smtimes i'll prefer to be silent......n by acting this way, pple might think that ive changed....pple might think that i dont give a damn about everything anymre....well, a part of it is TRUE....i might not wanna give a damn about it but by telling myself to stay away from all these just doesnt keep me away from caring.....

and there was this day in class when my lecturer talked about detachment......it's about trying to avoid caring so much till u try putting ur ownself in their shoes.....u'll be hurting urself by doing that...so u gotta detach from it.....by now i know, caring hurts.....u'll feel sorry for them......trying to find out ways to help them but eventually u cant do anything about it.....but im now in a worst situation.....ive gotten myself into the stage that i dont know whether i should believe in their problems or not....ive gotten into this stage that im wondering whtr dey're really facing those problems or they're actually telling it for mere attention.....im confused.....

another thing is, what if u try caring and all u get is a COLD reaction from them??that even makes me wonder wthr i cared it 'correctly' (if caring has a 'right' and 'wrong) or not or, perhaps i said smthing wrongly???? because of this, it sort of made me regret for 'caring' n so i decided to shut up d next time....IT MAKES ME FEEL BAD....by acting either ways, IT MADE ME FEEL BAD.....im juz STUCK....

sorry if u guys think that ive changed......i dont want to....im still searching for the old me too....but in d process of 'detaching', i think it's better for me to continuing keeping my mouth shut...all you have to knw is that, i still care....about it being 'right' or 'wrong', it's up to you to decide.....

i really do wanna care, but it just feels wrong.....

whatever it takes im not gonna break....

2011-02-22T10:09:00.004+08:00

whatever it takes im not gonna break the promise i made......~when im with you, faber drive~

im gonna do what it takes to go for my aim...that is to pass ALL my papers this year....soon, there'll be a time for me to pass ALL.....people around me can have a reason to doubt me for taking so many papers @ once n failed so many times, but there's no reason for me to doubt myself....

it was KINDA satisfying, motivates and demotivates me @ the same time...as long as i keep fighting, victory will be mine=) as long as i stay positive ans be a lil' bit patient with everything, i see no reason why i cant do it....life wont be meaningful if failure does not exsist....everyone has their own obstacle in life n mine is in the form of examinations (for the time being) and there're a lot of others who suffered more than i do....to the others out there, just keep fighting and stay positive.....everything happens for a reason n i never regret in those decisions i made for choosing ACCA in the first place and for taking so many papers @ once....i'll NEVER regret and i WONT....

im going to try making tru this round again....with my insane choice of taking 4 papers...afterall, my aim is to pass ALL my ACCA papers THIS YEAR by dec and be done for once and for all...thanks to everyone who had supported me all these while (especially my family, za and ALL my sunway frens n lecturers) without giving up hope on me...to those hu failed, juz smiled @ ur results and everything will be ok=) we all learn frm failures and soon u'll knw d right way to deal with it...and, we will fight tru it TOGETHER again...nothing defeats ur own determination to do smthing....and to those hu passed, congratulations=) u guys deserved THE BEST!!!

there's always a reason to make me smile....ALWAYS.....

the girl the eye...

2011-02-07T13:07:00.003+08:00

you'll never know....

~*♥♥♥*~

i stood there by the corner of that room with walls painted half yellow and green.....but it was obvious that the green overtook the yellow...anyone who had entered that room would name it "the green room" ....no one was observant enough to have noticed that yellow was present in that very room too.....that was not my point anyway.......no one would have noticed me either......

everything was still except for the wall fan that kept spinning from left to right......the sunlight penetrates through the windows and shined right at her face......there's smthing bothering her.......i could tell it from her face.....

there were some cards scattered on her brown wooden floor and the hidden compartment of her chair where she kept all her handmade gifts given by people she knew was wide opened (yes, she kept them under her chair that she never sits on). On her dressing table, there stood this blue photo frame with doggie footprints all over it with a picture of five girls...that was her 19th birthday present.....and there was also a handmade origami that someone made for her as a Christmas present......somehow, the colours of these gifts seemed to be fading....

a part of that, there were some crumpled papers on the floor.....curious, i picked up one......

" By the time you read this, things are different now.....before i go any futher, to those who know what had happened, just stay the way as if nothing happened..and to those who have no idea what is all this about, stay the way you are now...smthings are better left unknown.....and before you read any futher, DO NOT SPECULATE untill uve read till the very last piece of it....

there will be no use to mention about all the memories that we had before as there'll be too much for me to mention about...from the time that i first know you to the time that we ended up in the same bus and even in the same tuition (that if you could remember....but i did...do you?).

and those days we love drawing....we were so addicted to it till we drew in every pages of our books in tuition and we even drew comics out of it......

and then you left this town...but you came back.....we were high school....we were in the canteen when i first knew that you came back...i was in the 2nd stall buying food....

and later i learnt about your family...you told me about your father....we were in the library....you cried..i cried too....(i rmbed it, but do you?).

and for the last two years in high school we ended up in the same class again......of all the countless funs we had in highschool and in our class..those times wen we sang and laughed...the jokes that we cracked and the teachers that we gossiped about....the ghost we painted that doesnt look scary =.=, almost everything, reminds me of you.....really, EVERYTHING....my calculator, my blue pencil, my notebook, my make up set, my clothes and dresses....even in every room and every corner of my house, my parent's office, practically EVERYWHRE reminds me of you......maybe that's the consequences of being TOO close.....maybe that's the consequences of sharing too many things with you.....

never would i thought that this day would come......never would i thought everything will end up like this....never would i thought that you'll betray my trust this way...yes..keep on denying.....you and i know what you did.......stay true to urself??what a lie.....

but let me tell you one thing, if you think that what you did was WORTH all the memories that we created, ive got nothing else to say.....ive given you a number of chances for you to admit, but still you kept denying the fact that you did it....THAT, i couldnt think of any ways to forgive you......i was utterly disappointed in you.....i MIGHT forgive you if you admit it in the first place......but u didnt...."

the handwritings of that gurl was getting messier and messier as i read.......it somehow gives me the feeling that she was truly disappointed in someone.....but the letter was never delivered to that person.....although i may not know what that person did to her, but i guess i know what it feels like to have your trust being betrayed......just ONCE, u'll never trust that person ever again.....i picked up the 2nd piece of crumpled paper when that gurl was still drifting back into her old memories......

"i wouldnt BEG anyone of you to believe me....you dont need to believe me nor you need to know what's going on......none of you will even believe me if i tell...so i think it's best for you to find out it yourself or BEST, STAY OUT OF THIS. it's between me and her......so, DONT ASK. sooner or later, you'll find out the truth about everyone......

we've grown up to see things like this....maybe that's the reason why everyone hates growing up....i know...i learn things the hard way.......we went through heartbreaks and betrayals.....that's smthing we had to face day to day....now the lesson is learnt, be careful in every person that you trust...you'll never know who will betray you.....havent you heard about siblings betraying each other or even sons/daughters betraying their parents????nahhh..it's not about what's happening in those tvb dramas...u may never see it real life but it does happen.....

to you again, thanks for all the memories...thanks for showing me how true friends should be and thanks for letting me feel how is it to be like to be betrayed......things will never be the same now...you might have thought about it when you did it....and maybe that is why you're dealing fine with it (probably?)...but let me tell you that i'll be fine with it too.......

and before i end this, just let me remind you for one last time.....christian or non christian, do belive in karma......ive already warned you....and do not forget who WERE the ONES who went through all the pain with you and who was the one who raised you and your bro up.......do not forget who were the ones who are always here for you.....you might have loose one friend but there arn't a lot of others for you to loose....appreciate the OTHERS and please dont make the same mistake twice....learn how to respect yourself and preserve your dignity.....love yourself and others as much as you love him....

i couldnt think of anything more to write....as you probably wouldnt even keep some of them in mind......it was really nice knowing you and this might be the last thing that i'll write to you.....take good care of yourself....."

i couldnt express myself after reading all these.....that gurl might made it sound like there's the end of everything and thre's no turning back...is there???i dont know......i picked up the last piece of paper on the floor and began reading it.....

"to the rest of you, dont start asking me why after reading this.......you know i wouldnt tell....all you have to know i that, i didnt cry a single tear over it......"

the last line was as short as this......the gifts that were scattered on the floor are now properly kept in that hidden compartment.....and the room was greener than ever.....ive never seen that gurl ever since......or maybe i wasnt that observant that the another gurl in the room was the same her.......

i placed those papers in a brown envolope and sribbled a few words over it......yet, there i was, unnoticed.....you do not need to know who i am as i wouldnt be noticed anyway.....

"to whoever it concerns......."

statue...

2011-02-04T13:51:00.004+08:00

ive decided not to blog smthing emo yet....

~*♥♥♥*~

im living my life as usual and my life is great=) im happy...that's all i can say..it's cny anyway..sm things are different but im still enjoying every single day juz the same......i'll be happy and i'll stay happy.....

When a day is said and done
In the middle of the night and your fast asleep my love.
Stay awake looking at your beauty
Telling myself im the luckiest man alive
Cause so many times i was certain you was gonna walk out of my life (life)
Why you take such a hold of me girl
When im still trying to get my act right.

What is the reason when you really could have any man you want
I dont see what i have to offer.
I shouldnt be in season guess you could see i had potential.
Do you know your my miracle?

Im like a statue stuck staring right at you
Got me frozen in my tracks.
So amazed how you take me back
Each and everytime our love collapsed
Statue stuck staring right at you
So when im lost for words
Everytime i disappoint you
Its just cause i cant believe
That youre so beautiful. (stuck like a statue)
Dont wanna lose you no. (stuck like a statue)

Ask myself why is you even with me
After all the shit i put you through
Why did you make your heart song wit me
Its like youre living in an igloo
But baby your love is so warm it makes my shield melt down (down)
And everytime were both at war
You make me come around.

What is the reason when you really could have any man you want
I dont see what i have to offer for.
I shouldnt be in seasonguess you could see i had potential.
Do you know your my miracle?

Every single day of my life i thank my lucky stars
God really had to spend extra time when he sculptured your heart.
Cause theres no explanationcant solve the equation
Its like you love me more than i love myself.

When a day is said and done
And in the middle of the night youre fast asleep my love...

Im the luckiest man alive.......

this song is amazing.....it was recommended by andrea to me a few years back wen both of us were oftenly chatting in msn..missed those days =)

happy cny everyone=)

her......

2011-01-20T15:50:00.002+08:00

britney spearsssssss....goshh how i missed her...i love her old songs more....

~*♥♥♥*~

this song suits my mood now...and the lyrics..whoooooaaaa...lol

and the another one....cant embed the video...the link is here......and....the lyrics below.......
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O5nwHRI4MVE

THE GIRL IN THE MIRROR- BRITNEY SPEARS

There's a girl in the mirror

I wonder who she is

Sometimes I think I know her

Sometimes I really wish I did

There's a story in her eyes

Lullabies and goodbyes

When she's looking back at me

I can tell her heart is broken easily'

Cause the girl in my mirror

Is crying tonight

And there's nothing I can tell her

To make her feel alright

Oh the girl in my mirror

Is crying 'cause of you

And I wish there was something

Something I could do

If I could

I would tell her

Not to be afraid

The pain that she's feeling

The sense of loneliness will fade

So dry your tears and rest assured

Love will find you like before

When she's looking back at me

I know nothing really works that easily

I can't believe it's what I see

That the girl in the mirror

The girl in the mirror

Is me

I can't believe what I see......

her old songs are much much more nicer...LOL

life is "beautiful"

2011-01-19T17:35:00.003+08:00

just all of the sudden, i have the urge to blog this out.....

~*♥♥♥*~

that was a pic of a brother teaching his lil sis to walk up the stairs.....i was fetching my sis to this restaurant to buy some noodles for my family and that scene caught my attention....ive always wanted an older brother...well...lets just cut that part...it's not what i wanted to blog about anyway.....back to that scene...i saw the brother encouraging his lil sis when she began to walk up and down the stairs several times and everytime when she reached the top, he'll clap his hands and the lil sis joined his bro by clapping her hands too....i saw him held her hands when she nearly lost her balance and muttered a few words to her although ive no idea what he said...but i bet those words are encouraging....

and there was another scene that i encountered on my way to college.....an old couple was crossing the road which the wife has difficulties walking......i basically have to STOP for a few minutes to let her cross the road and i saw her husband patiently waiting for her holding her hand supporting her as she crossed the road slowly.......

i dunno..but these two scenes broke a SMALL smile on my face.....isnt life BEAUTIFUL if everything stays this way???i just have the urge to blog this..well..cause maybe there's really a LOT of stuff that has been bothering me lately.....till the extent that i dont wanna pour it all out to anyone cuz, i cant trust anyone......people lived in this world in a way WAYYYYYY different than those who lived in the past....humans get complicated.....im not that kind that could express myself by speaking out.....the best way that i could do it is by writing it all out....and i know..that's extremely bad..i shudve add this in my "new year resloution" too =.= pple began to think that im anti-social =.=

ive been doing a lot of thinking lately.....after all ive been through, no doubt, im learning things the HARD WAY.......it's like i gotta face smthing REALLY terrible and then that smthing terrible will be the lesson of my life.......smtimes wen im going tru all these, there's like this thing stupid feeling in my heart n stomach that keeps annoying me....i dunno how to say it but it's always making me feel uncomfortable......i know...life is not easy.....but im NOT COMPLAINING......

the issue that im currently facing is: TRUST. some of you might have learnt this earlier than i do or not....but all these while my dad has been advicing me to not trust anyone too much....it's not like im ignoring his advices or anything...his advices are ALWAYS with me...it's just that somehow, this thing HITS me suddenly and that impact on me is like enormous..maybe because it's linked to someone whom i treasured and cherished dearly........im still going through this alright....we all make mistakes....and once is ENOUGH.....

life is beautiful...yes...IT IS...that's before smthing bad hits you on ur head just like that and you might wanna look at it in another perpective.....for example, when ure having a bunch of frens that you attended classes together and have lunch together and basically doing every single activity together that never fail to bring laughters and joys to your life....but who knows.....things may change......smthing may happen and you cant do those things anymore.....

life changes...i NEVER believed in fairytales although i love reading them....i have the perception that fairytales give humans FALSE HOPES...to those who do belived in it, i think you guys are too innocent.....NOTHING in life will have a happy ending...cuz everytime when you get smthing nice, sooner or later, just be prepare for smthing UNEXPECTED to happen....if you view DYING as a good ending (cuz all of us will die anyway), maybe this concept of mine is wrong......you may continue being "mesmerized" by fairytales......and another thing is, there's no such thing as "and they lived happily ever after. THE END." dont you think that the way they put "the end" is way too soon???? live just doesnt STOP THERE.....u'll soon have to face more obstacles in ur life whtr u like it or not.....juz ignore the fact that you'll die and put that THE END at the end of it =.=

life is indeed beautiful...we learnt lessons...we go through heartbreaks and betrayals....im surprised how strong i am now to hold back all those tears.....those things that ive faced had shaped me into what i am today......im viewing all the terrible things that happened to me as a LESSON...so i guess that's the thing that keeps me positive and strong....or not....there might be some other reasons....for example, i might be IMMUNED by it.....

those beautiful memories will just stay as memories.....now that the lesson is learnt, dont look backwards...people changed.......who knows...that lil gurl might grow up into smone who doesnt appreciate others and might have even forgotten about how her bro had held her hand and say those few words to her when she lost her balance.....and that old man might leave this world earlier leaving the wife alone......

life is never fair...life might be beautiful...but it'll never be perfect.......

i really do hope that you're not the one who did it....

Healing.....

2011-01-06T09:57:00.005+08:00

dont you know, music heals??

~*♥♥♥*~

when every word and everyone fails to heal, music never fails to heal me......never would i thought that i would listen to korean songs....but for the sake of learning the language, i gotta start listening to it......

carmen transferred some songs to me and i got attached to some of them immediately....although i dont know what d lyrics mean, somehow the melody of the song is like interpreting how im feeling now..... *you wouldnt answer my call by 2AM playing* (and i juz got to know that there's 2AM. I THOUGHT 2AM IS 2PM =.= it's so weird lol)

and the melody can make you feel happy/fortunate and sad in the same time. amazing aint it??? that's the power of music.....instead of blasting songs on my 3speakers/ laptop, i would strum my guitar or get my hands on my piano...but i hurt my finger =.= so couldnt play any of it in the meantime....i'll juz continue blasting songs then.....owh...blogging heals too =)

gonna get more songs from her today...and she knows my type of music =)

not till the stage dat i get attracted to korean guys yet...lol and i think i prefer listening to this song witout viewing the video.....

The 5th day of 2011

2011-01-05T21:02:00.002+08:00

im still telling everyone that im TWENTY =.=

~*♥♥♥*~

the very first post for year 2011 =.= still not used to it yet.....n im still telling everyone that im TWENTY. I AM WURRRDDDDDDDDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!!!!! MYBDAY WAS JUZ TWO MONTHS AGO???LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL i grew up too fast.....after all the things ive been through last year.....and the years before.....it shaped me into what i am today.....

each and every year has it's own "unique" memories..i cant find the right word to describe it LOL either good or bad, I'LL TREASURE IT ALL JUST THE SAME. cuz each of those moments that ive been through, made me what i am NOW. I'LL TREASURE THE GOOD, AND LEARN FROM THE BAD (like ive always said).

everyone has their own new year resolution. to be honest, i RARELY make resolutions. haha but there are some things that i kept telling myself to do/achieve (but i dont classify em as resolutions LOLLLLLLLLLLLLL). im proud to say that ive achieved a mojority of it =)

SO.FOR YEAR 2011, THESE ARE THE STUFF THAT I'LL TELL MYSELF TO DO/ACHIEVE!!! (REGARDLESS WHTR IM CONSIDERING EM AS RESOLUTIONS OR NOT HAHA):

1. well of cuz....I WANNA GET QUALIFIED IN YEAR 2011. I WANNA COMPLETE THE FINAL STAGE OF MY ACCA EXAMS ONCE AND FOR ALL. IT IS NOT EASY.IT'S EXTREMMMEEEEELYYYYY DIFFICULT. BUT IT'S NOT IMPOSSIBLE. im putting it up here so that i could remind myself and of cuz, i need the support of everyone around me and especially those who're reading this.

2. in order to achieve this, i gotta be extremely hardworking =.= im planning to revise and write my own notes everytime after every lectures and NO MORE LAST MINUTE STUDIES. (i cant believe im typing this out LOL).

3. LESS ONLINING (im in the process of achieving this HAHAHHAHAHAA).

4. READ NEWSPAPER EVERYDAY. HAHAAHAHHA cuz i only read newspapers when i FEEL LIKE READING IT (though i claimed that i love reading =.=) and get more general knowledge!!! (that's essential).

5. a lesson that i learnt last year: CARE LESS. smtimes. it's not worth it......if you cared too much, u'll end up hurting urself and pple wud juz say that ure a busy body....it's weird how pple think aint it????so....CARE LESS.

6. learn more LAUNGUAGES

7. ~~get less scoldings from dad~~ be more RESPONSIBLE and lessen dad's burden. smthing that my lecturer said 2day HITS ME HARD. and that's why i gotta pass ALL my exams A.S.A.P AND START EARNING MY OWN INCOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

8. watch MY DIET =.=

9. IMPROVE MY GUITAR + PIANO + VIOLIN + SINGING SKILLS :D i feel like taking up drum lessons too =.= but it's almost impossible so im gonna scratch it out from my list. ~~LEARNING DRUMS~~

10. SAVE UP MONEY AND TRAVEL =)

11. [if there're some other things that i missed out]

so...i guess this is it...........i hope that the FIRE inside me to achieve all these will keep on burning till the end of 2011. SO LONG EVERYONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! =)

and i hope that it's not too late to wish ya'll a HAPPY NEW YEAR.

p/s: lessons are great as usual..I LOVE COLLEGE. i'll blog about my korea trip bit by bit. SEE THAT WORD???? "LESS ONLINING" LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

I BRIBED FOR THE FIRST TIME AT THE AGE OF 20

2010-12-31T10:03:00.003+08:00

NOT PROUD OF IT. AT ALL.

~*♥♥♥*~

well..this happened before i went to thai...i dunno why i did it!!!!! GARHHHH REGRETTED HELL OUT OF IT =.= i wasnt really speeding!!! REALLY!!!! the traffic light turned orange ny wurdd!!!!! i really think that the police was PREYING at my car (MY DAD'S CAR) thanks to the number plate =.= one thing i dun like about driving THAT CAR is that it's kinda EYE CATCHING ALTHOUGH IT'S KINDA OLD. SERIOUSLY!!!!! so smtimes wen i get out alone, it's kinda dangerous cuz pple cud EASILY RECOGNIZE MY CAR (MY DAD'S CAR LOL).

anyway...that police asked me to stop and tell me that i was speeding bla bla bla bla bla and asked me to give him my license and I DID. AND YOU KNOW WHAT HE DID?? HE WAS TALKING WHILE SCRIBBLING. talked about all nonsense n i blur blur like that watch him scribble cuz i thought that he was REALLY COPYING MY DETAILS. and he kept on asking "NAK SAMAN TAK"??? "BETUL NAK SAMAN NI"???? and i replied him YES AND NODDED everytime he asked that =.= and he damn smart wan...he asked me what's my occupation and i told him that studying (TO DETERMINE THE AMOUNT OF THE BRIBE =.= IF YOU SAY ACCOUNTANT, HE'LL EXPECT A LARGER SUM OF MONEY FROM YOU.YOU GUYS BETTER B SMARTER THAN HIM IF URE TO FACE THE SAME THING AS ME.DENG HUI GE FAI ARH LOL).

and then he kept on SCRIBBLING and i began to wonder WHAT TAKES HIM SOOOOOOO LONG TO WRITE ME THAT FREAKING SAMAN SLIP???? and he asked the sameee question again =.= and lastly he said "KALAU BAPA MARAH MACAM MANA???" AND I WAS LIKE WHATTTTTTTDAAAAAAAAAAHELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL AND LATER, I REALLY CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE. I SAID, TAK MAU LA, but deep down inside i was like DAMN YOU. ALL HE WANTS IS MONEY. FINE LORH. GIVE HIM LORH. i chuck out the money and he was like "AIYO, U JGN BAGI ORG NAMPAK" AND I WAS LIKE =.= DENG HUI ARHHHHHHHHHH. REALLY!!!! MY WHOLE EXPRESSION CHANGED WHEN HE SAID THAT!!!! and he acted as if he's copying my car plate, scribbling GOD-KNOWS-WHAT and then gave me that notepad thing he was scribbling on and asked me to "SIGN" ON IT and asked me to put the money underneath the notepad THAT I DIDNT HEAR HIM SAID THAT TILL HE SAID THAT A FEW TIMES =.= cant blame me.I DAMN BLUR WHEN IT COMES TO SMTHING LIKE THIS. AFTERALL, IT'S MY FIRST TIME BRIBING A COP.DEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

and then i reached the destination (was on the way fetchin my mum). i told her dat and we both ended up laughing like mad in the car =.= well..i told DAD....i really wanna go back to that police and say "BAPA TAK MARAH PUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!" HAHAHAHAHAHAH what an experience.......

NAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! MY SOUVENIR FOR BRIBING!!!!!! THAT'S MY SAMAN SLIP!!that's what he WROTE =.= SWEAT GAU GAU LAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MALAYSIA BOLEHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHOOOOOOOOOOOOTSSSSS!!!!!!!

The Land of Kimchis DAY 2 PART 2 LOL

2010-12-30T22:18:00.007+08:00

THE LAST PART OF DAY TWO!!!WAHAHAHAHAHAHA juz cant wait to blog about day 3 LOLLLLLL

~*♥♥♥*~

im an extremely NAUGHTY GURL. LOL since my parents are not around, im gonna make FULL USE OF MY TIME TO BLOG AND BLOG AND BLOGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! alright...this is like the last part of my day two!!YAYYYYYYYYYYY DAY 3 HAS REALLY INTRESTING STUFF TOO!!!!LOLLLLLL

okok...continued frm the post juz now, after lunch, we went to that place that they CLAIMED that ~~"the jewel of the golden palace"~~ (SHUD BE JEWEL IN THE PALACE.AHAHAHAH JUZ GOOGLED IT LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLL) WAS TAKEN IN THIS PLACE WHICH, IVE NO MEMORY ABOUT IT =.= NOTHING SEEMS FAMILIAR WAN. i think they LIED TO ME.LOL see for urself and tell me whtr IT REMINDS you about that drama or not. HAHAHAHA ANYWAY, THAT PLACE WAS NICE TOO. it's like an enormous park...which...kinda reminds me of CHINA..dunno y =.= cuz mayb both korea and china are asian countries...HAAH

they had a lot of nice flowers planted there...and it wasnt that cold there compared to the sea and mountain side..and as you can see, MY HAIR AND FACE LOOKS BETTER WITOUT THE WIND BLOWING LIKE MAD =.= SCREW YOU WIND.AHHAHAAHAHHAHA
and i SAW A REALLY BIG PUMPKIN ON TOPPPP!! THEREEE THEREEE!!!! *POINTS AT PUMPKIN* SEE ITTTT??!!AHAHAHAHAHHA CINDERELLA!!!!LOLLLLL ok....im getting a lil....absurd..NVM HAHA

and i saw a calf there =.= i wonder what it's doing thre. LOL NOTHING SPECIAL. I DUN EVEN KNOW Y I WUD WANNA TAKE AND UPLOAD AND EDIT this PIC =.= owh...i think i wanted to show you that it has more fur than those in m'sia =.= IT'S LAME. I KNOW.AHHAHAHHAHA

A BLACK PIGGG!!!!WHAAHAHAHAHHAHHAHA THIS. I HAVE SMTHING TO TELL ABOUT THIS THING CUZ THE TOUR GUIDE TOLD US SMTHING ABOUT WHAT THIS PIG HERE IS FOR. IT'S RATHER DISGUSTING.
the use: TO EAT HUMAN FAECES =S
ok..DONT GIMME DAT LOOK!!HHAHHAH TOLD YOU IT'S DISGUSTING lol
really..nothing HERE reminds me of THAT DRAMA =.=

or here..NOTHING AT ALL =.=

OR EVEN THIS THINGY HERE.AHAHHHAHAHA IVE NO IDEA WHAT IT IS.SO DUN ASK.LOL

jieeeeeeee =)

CAMWHORED!!!!!!!!!GEEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE

look, i took out my winter coat. LOL RED+RED HEHE

this thing here, IS INTRESTING. it has it's own history.....the origin of this thing is.... *drumroll* PENIS. YES. no typing error or anything. a long time ago, jeju island was dominated by women. there were very few men living in that island and so they hang penises made from wood/rock and put them in front of their houses hoping that it would "create" (i dunno wat word to use =.= LOL) more males in that island.AHAAHAHAHA I SUCKED AT TELLING STORIES. it's smthing like dat la..im sure u get what i mean LOL and when tourists came to that island, they got SHOCKED seeing those penises hung outside every houses and shops. and that's why they carved in the eyes and nose and gave it hands so that it doesnt look that....uhm....."scary"??LOL I DUNNO. HAHAAAHAHHAA intresting lehhh..LOL it's now a trademark of jeju island or smthing lOL

smwhre near d toilet LOLLLLL

next destination------------------> MYSTERIOUS ROAD.

im sure most of you have heard of it. YUP. THAT'S RIGHT. the road where cars will move by themselves when the engine is switched off.

here's a lil video clip i got frm utube. LOL. the tour guide explained to us that the road was actually slanting. OPTICAL ILLUSION =) enough explaination?LOL

ON THE MYSTERIOUS ROAD. LOL

and they sell this fish thingy there. NOT BAD =D

and then, we headed to another destination------> to that place whre the rock looks like a dragon head =.= DETAILS: I FORGOT. wasnt really paying attention that time HHAHAHAHAA IM A TERRIBLE TRAVELLER. another seaside btw =.= which means it'll be WINDY.......and SAY HELLO TO MESSY HAIR THAT LEADS TO UGLY PIC =.= LOL

waves went WOOOSHHHH WOOOOSSHHH WOSSSSHHHHHHHHHH

NAH. DRAGON HEAD =.= lol

MESSY HAIR + UGLY PIC =.=

AHAAAAAHHAHAHA LOOK AT THIS KID!!!! IT WAS COLD THERE AND HIS MUMMY WRAPPED HIM UP LIKE THIS!!!!!DAMNNNNNNN ADORABLEEE ARHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAHAHHAH

DINNNNNERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THE WAVES. WAS. KINDA. SCARY. it's like as if tsunami is cummin =.= REALLY!!!!

thennnn..back to the hotel. i promised that i'll show you the room that i'll be sleeping in right???? like ive posted in the previous post, there're 2rooms. one wit bed and the other witout bed whre u can sleep on the floor wit the matress. we chose the one wit bed LOL BUT NO PICS TAKEN. i forgot about it =.=

LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

=.= PIC SAYS IT ALL LOL

this is the TOILET. there's ANOTHER BATHROOM. LOL and that's my sis =)

well...that's THE END FOR DAY 2!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!WAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH day 3 will be more intresting!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND WE'LL BE LEAVING JEJU ISLAND D!!!!!!!! :D MRE TO COMEEE!!!!! uhm...stay tuned???LOL

to the land of KIMCHI DAY 2 PART 1 =D ♥

2010-12-30T11:15:00.015+08:00

the part one of day 2!!!

~*♥♥♥*~

ive decided to put this into parts as there're TOO MUCH for me to blog about!!ok..this is day 2.....like ive said, day 2 would b more intresting than DAY 1!!!! the first destination was to that place where they filmed "ALL IN", a korean drama where my so-called fav korean actor acted in it LOLLLLLL THE SCENE THERE WAS REALLY PRETTY!!!! AND IT WAS REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY x12089471209857984759384753908750987 COLDDDDD!!!!!!!!!!!!!! even with my WINTER COAT AND MY LAYERS AND LAYERS OF THINK CLOTHINGS, IT WAS STILL COLD. so imagine the other who wore THINNER layers of clothes...they went to hide in the bus when my family and i walked and walked and snap and snap pictures LOL

and it was VERYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY WINDY THERE (cuz it's near the seaside) AND THAT'S Y I LOOKED UGLY IN MOST OF MY PHOTOS IN DAY 2. the wind kept messingup my hair =,= anyway.....here are the pics!!! im not using any dslr (though i wished that i shudve) but the pics turned out NICE I GUESS. LOLLLLL (as in, pics WITHOUT ME IN IT LOL)

i looked really mature in sharp colour clothes. see how many layers i was wearing????!!!!
NICEEEE LEHHH!!! SO FAIRYTALE-ISH!!HAHHAHAHAHAHHAH

WIND KEPT MESSING MY HAIR PART 1

WIND KEPT MESSING MY HAIR PART 2

WIND KEPT MESSING MY HAIR PART 3 =.= TOLD YOU.LOL

and the church there!!!! DAMNNNN NICEEEE LORHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

♥LY ada feel lehhhh... LOLLLLLL

taken b4 we left that place.....

the scene taking on the way leaving...THE WATER WAS..OWHHHHMAIIIIIIIGOOOOSSSHHHH LOL i feel like DIVING IN IT BUT THE WEATHER made me changed my mind (AS IF IM ALLOWED TO DO SO LOL)

you could see smthing like this along the way in JEJU ISLAND. and their fences are made of ROCKS WITOUT CEMENT. and the best part is, no matter how hard you kick it, I WONT TUMBLE!!!!!!!

the NEXT DESTINATION: TO THE PLACE WHERE THEY HAVE THE FEMALE DIVERS. i forgot whats the name of the place =.= and we were given time walk around there. there're like two "'parts" of the location. one, u can climb up the mountains.....and the 2nd part, you can go to the seaside(the place whre u can see the divers). but the weather was too cold for the divers to dive. THE BEST PART IS, THOSE DIVERS, ARE WAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY OLDER THAN ANYONE OF U READING THIS. THEY'RE 70-80 YEAR OLD GRANDMAS!!!!! my family and i chose the 2nd part....as we've already climbed the "mountains" in that all in place (well.....sort of LOL) and climbing takes up lotsa time and energy....so..yeah...we chose the sea one LOL.

the mountain part
no doubt, the scene WAS BREATH TAKING

ON THE WAY TO THAT SEASIDE!!!!!!!!!!

THEREEEEE!!!! i dunno y, but being in that place, it reminds me of WESTLIFE (cuz it reminds me of their song, MY LOVE where their mv was taken is a place that looks smthing like this HAHA)

some flowers i found growing on the rocks LOL

one of the divers!!!! I TOLD YOU!!!!! LOL

MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!! LOL

WAHHAAHAHAHA i juz love taking pic of the steps there AND EDIT IT TILL IT LOOKS LIKE THIS..i dunno why LOL

AND THIS =)

and NEXT-------------------------> MAZE PARKKK!!!!!!!

and THIS PLACE, no doubt, reminds me of HARRY POTTER =.= the triwizard tournament HHAHAHAHAHA and it reminds me a lil bit of alice in the wonderland too LOLLLLLLLLLLL

INSIDE!!! we gotta find our way our OURSELVES =.= LOL had fun inside it though HHAHAAHHAAHHA

MAZZEEEE!! FIND YOUR WAY OUT OR ELSE GET STUCK THRE FOR LIFE!! LOL

camwhoring with a swing there......GEEEHEEEEE

i dunno y i wanted to take this pic=.= but nvm HHAHAHAHAHAHA

on the way out =D surprisingly, with my BAD SENSE OF DIRECTION, I MANAGED TO FIND MY WAY OUT.WHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

and then we headed for lunch...HAD THESE FOR LUNCH!!! not bad =)

YOU GOTTA COOK IT WAN. THAT'S THE THRILL OF IT LOL. AND IT'S DELICIOUSSSSSS..DONT JUDGE THIS BY THE LOOK. it IS DELICIOUS.

THE NORMAL SIDE DISHES =.= KIMCHI =S

but itu seaweed AKU SUKA =D

AND ONE MORE THING, if ure holding ur chopsticks THE WRONG WAY, i think u'll b having difficulties holding chopsticks in korea LOL LUCKILY I MANAGED TO CHANGE my way of holding chopstick beginning of the year LOL

okla...that's all for part one....MORE INTRESTING STUFF CUMIN UP.REALLY.HAHHAHAHAA DAY 3 AND 4 HAS REALLY INTRESTING STUFF. BUT...im not even done wit day 2 yet =.= WAIT UP!!!!WAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I'LL BE MORE HARDWORKING!!!!LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

To THAI-land AGAIN

2010-12-30T10:05:00.003+08:00

another trip to THAI..for the dunno-how-manyth time =.=

~*♥♥♥*~

i was RELUCTANT to follow my parents there but in the end I MADE UP MY DESICION TO FOLLOW THEM THERE FOR A REASON: FOR MY BRO. i would like to start this whole post by saying, IM EXTREMELY PROUD OF MY BRO. i wudnt put these in details but anyhow, I DID NOT REGRET FOLLOWING THEM TO THAI and im glad that i made my decision RIGHT or else i'll feel GUILTY FOR LIFE.

this trip to thai, was DIFFERENT compared the the others.....i witnessed smthing great. i experienced smthing that only a minority of you would have. this, i wouldnt put it in detail too. it's smthing more private.....those that i cud "disclose" i will do it right now =)

dad brought me to visit his fren who owned a jewellery shop in thai and recently he had bought over a factory...and guess what...I VISITED THAT ENORMOUS FACTORY!!!!! i salute this guy seriously...u know why???? 20 years ago, i used to worked in that factory and he was FIRED by the management there for some reasons.....and he had struggled hard in his life FOR 20YEARS AND FINALLY, HE CAME BACK AND BOUGHT OVER THE FACTORY. and he's now the ceo and the major shareholder (i THINK). REALLY WOW. WHEN HE DROVE US IN, THE GUARDS FROM THE GUARD HOUSE WAS LIKE SALUTING AT HIM AND MAKES ME GO @.@ !!!!!!!! really!!! that feeling was INDESCRIBABLE!!!!! and and....you know the way THAIS greet each other when they meet??? WHEN WE WALKED IN, EVERYONE ON THE WAY WAS LIKE DOING THAT TO HIM @.@ and i felt like IM D CEO LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

he introduced us to the MD and the rest.......had a lil chat before we left.....and this man, he knows how to speak a few languages.....for a thai, really damn geng d...cuz normally thais only know how speak THAI LANGUAGE. he kinda became my inspiration (BESIDES MY DAD LOL). he told us that in order to survive this world, we gotta learn a few languages other than our own mother tongue. i would say that im fortunate to live in malaysia cuz i can speak a few languages (though im still working on my MANDARIN =.=) and currrently im taking up korean language lessons and i wanna take up THAI LANGUAGE TOO LOL it all depends on how you look at things....for those who THINK THAT THEY'RE DAMN PROUD OF THEMSELVES CUZ THEY CANT SPEAK AND WRITE IN MANDARIN, GOD BLESS YOU MAN. maybe that's not a problem for you if ure planning to work others and you dont feel like developing urself. trust me. ONE DAY, U'LL REGRET IT FOR SUCH IMMATURE THINKING. well....maybe because choosing the "biz route" where most of it are dominated by chinese and that's why i think that mandarin is THAT IMPORTANT.

lol sorry i got a lil carried away HAHA back to the trip to the factory. they deal with sea products, imported from overseas (eg, chile japan norway etc etc) and they'll export em after processing. and it's a listed company. so i got the chance to experience the feeling of being inside an enormous frige HAHAAHAHHA NOLA...IT'S JUZ THE ROOM WHERE THEY STORE THEIR INVENTORY A.K.A. SEA PRODUCTS WHERE I GOTTA WEAR A COAT LIKE AN ESKIMO =.= din take any pics. sorry about that. HAHA BUT IT WAS REALLY A GREAT EXPERIENCE.

and......i saw a movie star in thai....FOR REAL...I DUNNO WHO....IT'S LIKE THE SAME THING IF I SEE A STAR IN KOREA, I WOULDNT KNOW THAT HE/SHE IS ONE UNLESS THE FANS START SCREAMING LIKE BANSHEES HAHA captured a few pics of him though..NOT BAD.QUITE LENGZAI BUT NOT MY TYPE OF GUY. HAHAHAHAHHAHHA ACTED IN SOME HORROR MOVIE that i kept seeing the posters around thai so i reckoned that he's quite famous. and when the fans screamed, i cant hear any MALES screaming. LOLLLLLLLL YOU GET WHAT I MEAN.AHAAHAHAHAHAH it was that high-pitched type of screaming LOL AND IT WAS SCARY.

THAI GUYS AND GURLS DAMN CUN. HAHA. owh...btw...i saw nickhun too...DALAM TV DAN POSTER KAT JALAN JALAN. HAHAHAHAHHHA HE CAN SPEAK THAI =.= not a fan of him....juz typing it out here FOR FUN WAAAHAAHHAHHAHAHA

now i gotta work on my korea posts =.= BLOGGING IS ANNOYING AT TIMES.HAHA

To the land of KIMCHIS: the PART 1♥

2010-12-20T11:48:00.008+08:00

just a simple start =) this is just DAY ONE!!!! KLIA-SEOUL AND MOSTLY IN SEOUL.GEEHEEE

~*♥♥♥*~

im gonna take a long longggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg time to complete blogging about all my moments in korea.....let's juz start from the very first day i step my foot into the world of KIMCHI =P

24th oct 2010: that night i boarded the plane, that night when everything changes, that night when i left malaysia with a HEAVY HEART. YES. YOU SAW THAT RIGHT. I LEFT MALAYSIA TO KOREA FOR A HOLIDAY WIT A HEAVY HEART. =.= there were some "unsettled stuff" that i kept bothering me/haunt me that night and TILL THE 2nd day in korea....and when i reached korea, my mind and soul was still in MALAYSIA.....im not joking about it alright??? and even before i left for korea, i DID felt that im not going to enjoy myself to the fullest (too much of negativity eh??). BUT KOREA PROVED ME WRONG.

look, before i even start going into detail about my trip to korea, let me assure you that IM NOT A FAN OF KOREA DRAMAS OR KPOPS OR WHATEVERTHINGYTHATRELATESTOKOREA. i went there MERELY for a vacation. so u can juz imagine a korea NOOB going to korea and only knowing how to say ANNYEONGSEYO =.= so even IFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF i see a super duper famous korean popstar/actor/actress in the streets, i wun even bother LOL OR I WUD KNOW THAT THEY'RE BY MY INSTICTS CUZ FANS WUD BE SCREAMING AND YELLING AROUND HIM/HER???HAHA

alright..on the first day, we went to LESS places cuz the tour guide dont wanna "burden" us cuz we juz reached korea LOL and the first place that i went was a place that ive no idea what it's name was n ive no idea what was the purpose of visiting it but all i know that i was there to take pics LOLLLL CANT BLAME ME.I WAS SITTING ON THE PLANE FOR LIKE 6 AND A HALF HOURS????AND I CANT EVEN GET ENOUGH SLEEP MAN. SO I GUESS IT'S OKAY FOR ME TO BE BLURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR ON THE FIRST DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D

to that place where there have a fountain thingy which i dont even bother wat it was =.= SORREEEEEE. I'LL FIND OUT NEXT TIME LOLLLLL BUT I DID TAKE SM PICS THERE. AND BTW, THE FIRST 2 DAYS WAS FREAAAAAAKINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG COOOOLLLLDDDDDDDDDDD and we (my family and i) WERE SMART CUZ WE BROUGHT WINTER CLOTHINGS there. and it was autumn in korea LOL so basically u can see that the rest of the tour members were like ALMOST frozen to death and they get up the bus as quickly as they can while we camwhored everywhre LOLLLLLLLLLLLL the moral of the story is: DRESS APPROPRIATELY.

pics below =) i know that's the only thing dat ure intrested in LOL

the reason i was hugging the tree was bcuz i love the yellow leaves. IT'S NOT MAPLE. DONT EVEN THINK OF COLLECTING THESE LEAVES BACK CUZ IT'S FREAKING SMELLY!!!!! looks nice but smells BAD HAHA

at the fountain thingy place. it was REALLY COLD THERE.

nah..u can see a lil bit of the fountain thre LOL

some scene =.=

JENG JENG JENG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! UHMMM..I FORGOT WHAT TREE IT WAS. LOL i was still blur you know....haha

WHOOOOTTSS. im short LOL

i took this pic!!! NICEEE LEHHHHHH....and we left that place, heading to that ancient palace thingy that reminds me of THE FORBIDDEN CITY OF CHINA =.=

at the entrance of that palace thingy.(DAT I FORGOT D NAME) =.= im a terrible traveller i know......LOL

SOME LAKE =.=

nahh dis one i know. im posing wit the 300-year-old FLOOR =.= HAHHAAAA eh.....300 OR 600???? @.@ i think it's 300..600 sounds....absurd..LOL

KOREAN KIDS DAMNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN CUTE WAN I TELL YOUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!GARHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and then....we headed for lunch...kimchi kimchi kimchi kimchiiii all the way =.= urgh...i hate kimchis LOL if i stay in korea for a few years, I CAN GET SLIM VERYYYY FAST I TELL YOU. CUZ THE FOOD THERE IS.......nvm HAHAHAA but the amount of food they eat is VERY LITTLE AND SIMPLE + NOT OILY. lol THE FOOD IN KOREA INSPIRED MY MUM. once we came back from korea, everything that she cooked, it's so KOREAN-LIKE =.= haha you get what i mean LOL IT'S HEALTHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY.

AKU TAK SUKA KIMCHI.

their famous ginseng tea. AND I HATE GINSENG TOO.

the main course for the day. ginseng chicken + rice + ramen. it was nice but i dislike the ginseng taste LOL STILL, IT'S I THINK IT'S NICE??HAHA OK IT WAS NICE BY TRYING TO EAT IT IMAGINING THE ABSENCE OF GINSENG. LOL wth m i talkin about =.=

and then an extra place that the tour guide brought us there. some man made fountain stream thingy. the scene there was really nice and u can see lotsa pple dressed up formally walking along it DRINKING COFFEE.. N NOT JUZ COFFEE, IT'S STARBUCKS. LOL I LOVE LOOKING AT HUMANS IN FORMAL WEAR.CUZ IT'S SOOOO PRO LOOKIING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D

and then we headed to the airport (not incheon i forgot d name AGAIN N IM LAZY TO GOOGLE IT =.= eh wait..i think it's GIMPO AIRPORT.LOL) and, TO JEJU ISLAND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

For the 1st day, we did nothing there....juz headed to the hotel and went out for dinner wit the rest and we went back to the hotel to REST. AND SLEEP. LIKE PIGS. LOL i cant even recall what i had for dinner cuz i didnt take any pics =.= OWH, I LOVE KOREAN RICE. A LOT.HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

I SAW SMTHING INTRESTING IN GIMPO AIRPORT.AHHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA ADORABLE RITE!!!!!!! it took around onenahalfhour flight to jeju I THINK =.= lol n i was sleeping sooooo soundly on the plane for onenahalfhour

the scene =) i always get the WINDOW SEAT.WAHAHAHAHAHAH

yup, people, WELCOME TO JEJU ISLAND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D

the place that i stayed in, for TWO DAYS. there're two bedrooms (one wit bed and another where u sleep on the floor wit matresses), 2 bathrooms, a kitchen and a "living room" wit samsung flatscreen TV =.=

d kitchen. will preview more about this PLACE ON DAY 2!!!! WAAHAAHAAHAHHAHA

alright!!! THAT'S ALL FOR DAY ONE!!!! WAIT UP FOR DAY 2!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D i assure you, IT'LL BE MORE INTRESTING THAN THIS ONE.HAHA

turning 20-PART 2 ♥

2010-12-16T10:02:00.009+08:00

took me long enough to REALLY blog this out??? =)

~*♥♥♥*~

the FB NOTE. as i read it again, i was flashing back to 22nd October 2010 and im just gonna let all these remain as memory......im not gonna make this post sounds emo LOL so just let me take myself back to the place where it used to be and blog it all out perfectly.....

there was a bit of hoohaaass back then lol shud i even blog out about the truth????nvm....i think i'll juz let it stay unknown or perhaps some of you already knew HAHA but really, THANKS FOR ALL THE EFFORT!!!!! goshhh....*enchanted,taylorswift playing* ~IWASENCHANTEDTOMEEETYOUUUUUUUU~ hahah where should i even start???? ok..i rmbed clearly..it was a friday.....and the original plan was having lunch wit carmen ALONE...and some how another plan turned up....and finally, we went to have lunch @ Akamomiji (IGNORE THE SPELLING LOL)it's some jap restaurant la LOL carmen fetched me there.....vivian drove her own there, yukming came wit adrian and lastly yinyep LOL

at that SPOT of time, THEY (THE GUYS) ACTUALLY STILL THINKS THAT IM QUIET =.= i think all of em changed their minds now HAHHAHHAHAHAHAH lunch was fun =) thanks for paying adriannnnnn=) and we headed to Jusco.....and guess what.....MY FIRST KARAOKE-ING IN SMWHRE OTHER THAN MY HOUSE.=.= YES.IM DEAD SERIOUS!!! IT WAS MY FIRST TIME GOING INTO KBOX/REDBOX/WHATEVERBOXITIS. never would i thought that THEY were the first ones who brought me there..NEVER. and it was my first time celebrating my FIRST -TY BIRTHDAY WIT THEM. somehow all these just weaved up into a piece of extremely beautiful memory......

and that's also the first time they saw me cry???cried out of happiness i would say LOL it's smthing good?? alright..back to the flashback......we booked two rooms there.....so practically we were going in and out the two rooms lol......later i was asked to go into ANOTHER ROOM where they started singing that HAPPY BIRTHDAY song........and then the cake came where everyone was WOW-ING @ IT (THANKS TO THE AMOUNT OF STRAWBERRIES ON IT LOL). and i saw TWO BIG-LIT CANDLES ON IT.man......im already 20=.=

we went back to our rooms and begin singing again.....THIS PIECE OF MEMORY IS STILL VIVID IN MY MIND. i was singing "lucky" by britney spears when yukming came over to the room that i was and handed me this REALLY PRETTY booklet where all of em wrote smthing and signed on it.......i was kinda dumbstruck....i NEVER thought that they would do SOOOO MUCH for me as i had only joined sunway for a FEW MONTHS and we began to get KINDA CLOSE (not REALLY close) after prom i guess......the person that ive been the closest wit is ONLY CARMEN I WOULD SAY.....*backtodecemberbytaylorswift playing* LOL IM REALLY LISTENING TO THIS SONG WAN ARHHH!!! :D OKOKOK.....was juz trying to lighten up the situation a bit LOL and so...as i held the booklet and began flipping it......and those msgs might sound SIMPLE but thinking about all the effort theyve put into all these made me touched.....and when i mumbled "why you guys so sweet wannnnn??!!" my tears juz start POURING....and that stupid lucky song was still playing "if she is so lucky but why does she criessssss?????!!!" i was crying and laughing at the same time and everyone was like laughing bcuz the song goes well wit the situation and that YINYEP go and sing that song teasing me and i laughed + cry even more HAHHHAHA GOSHHH...MISSED IT SO MUCH....i couldnt stop crying+ LAUGHING and so they changed the song to I STARTED A JOKE BY BEE GEES and they started singing to cheer me up.......goshhhh...EPIC RITE????

it was almost towards the end when i realized that it's time for me to get back home before my dad began questioning me...lol i gave EVERYYYYONEEEEE a hug before i left and thanked them one by one for it...the lunch, the cake, the "surprise", the presents and EVERYTHING.....okla..actually i knew that they're gonna celebrate it wit me....but i thought that they will buy me a cake and sing me a bday song in college (that's what i imagined la LOL) but....it turned out THIS WAY.....i was surprised in a way and of cuz, IM TOUCHED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! thank you so much really.......thanks for the effort!!!!!!!! pics time =) blogs arnt complete witout PICTURES to tell you the story =)

my 2nd bday cake.......yukming's bro made it!!!! I DONT BELIEVE THEM WHEN THEY TOLD ME DAT =.= I TOT DEY WERE JOKING OR SMTHING LOL and then i asked HIM and he explained everything and i was LIKE "WARHHHHH REALLY WAN ARRRHH"???!!!! EEEEEEKKKKKKK!!! LOL

passsing the cake to HIM =.= UHM...CUZ HIS BRO MADE IT????LOLLLLLLLLLL poiting tried to get out frm the camera view but..............FAILED!!!!!!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAH OWHHHHH AND BTW, EDMOND WAS THE PHOTOGRAPHER FOR THE DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THANKS EDMOND!!!!!!! :D (although i looked like a moron in most pics lol im a moron anyway HAHA)

poiting, me, CARMEN AND LULUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!

MY DARLING POITING AND ME!!!HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

UHM...THAT'S MICHELLE ON TOP, YINYEP ON THE LEFT LOLLLLLLL

yenyen n poiting =)

THE GURLS.THE GUYS DUNNO ALL GO WHRE D LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL nola...i dunno wat were dey doing standing IN THE CORNER WATCHING US TAKING PICS =.=

loveessssssssssssssssss

I ATE THE BIGGEST STRAWBERRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!WAAAAHAAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAA

US AGAIN

OWH OWHHHH WOHHHHHHHHHH AND DID I TELL YOU THAT THE ROOM I WAS IN HAS OWLLLSSSSS ALL OVERRR??!! EEEEKKKK!! NO I THINK I DIDNT.BUT I DID NOW!!! THE ROOM WAS FULL OF OWLLLSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! EVERYTHING IS LIKE PLANNED SO PERFECTLY RITE??but this was just a coincidence..but i know..it looked like it's perfectly planned...HHHAAHAAHH some of my frens in sunway calls me OWL thanks to FACEBOOK cuz D'Owl is my last name??LOLLLLLL so owl's like my TRADEMARK now =.=

AWWWWHHHHHHHHHHH DAT OWL LOOKED SOOOO ADORABLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and i looked terrible...i look like a MESS LOL whateverrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D

ANOTHER OWL IN ANOTHER WALL. i told you.THAT ROOM WAS FULL OF OWLLLLSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AND THIS LIL OWLIEEEE!!! I PURPOSELY TOOK IT TO LET ANOTHER OWL SEE WAN. HER NAME IS JOE EE D'OWL. AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH JOEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! THIS IS YOUUUU!!!! AHAHAHHA BURUNG HANTU KECIKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!WAAAAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHA OWHHHH and i juz noticed a DOGGIE BONE THERE.AND A SQUIRREL!!!!LOLLLLLLLLL and...IS DAT A MAPLELEAF I SEEE????!!!!!!!!!!!!!OMMMMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG SUCH A PERFECT COMBINATION.AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

those strawberries were HUGEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE LOL

CARMEN BOUGHT THIS FOR ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THANKS CARMENNN!! I LOVE YOU!!! YOU KNOW THAT RIGHT???LOLLLLLLLLL

and somehow....my bunch of sunway friends knew that i LOVE HANDMADE STUFF. so....yeah..they're PRICELESS...............

this...is...carmen and mrdavid's trademark LOLLLLLLL THE TONGUE!!!!! uve probably seen THIS in my blog smwhre b4 LOLLLLLLLL she DREW THIS HERSELF!!!!!! it was like the cover of a "card" she made for me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

CARMENWONG MADE THIS FOR ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! she knew dat i love harrypotter and playing guitar and stuff LOL it's like......SHE LOVES THINGS THAT I LOVE ALL EXCEPT our intrest in KPOPs is WAYY DIFFERENT lol and she purposely go and buy those materials to make this (she wrote that in the "card") LOLLLLLL

I CANT SEE THE GD. CAN YOU??LOLLL I CANT I CANTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!AHAHAHAHAHAHA

the contents of that "card" was beautifully written..thanks a lot carmen...i really appreciate all the efforts uve put into it...too bad..IM THE ONE WHO KEEP IT.WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA nvm!!! if you missed it rite??tell me anytime...i'll bring it for you to TOUCH FOR A WHILE WHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

THIS.THING.MADE.ME.CRY.

thanks munyee for making it till 4am!!!!!!!!!LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i told you.IT'S PRRETTY RITE =)

some of the contents of that booklet=)

and that BURNT CARD. FORM YUKMING AND ADRIAN.EHHHHH...I WANNA KNOW....WHO BURNT IT WAN???HAHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

LOVESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA owh...and how long did you take to "BURN" IT????? LOL

FROM ADRIAN AND YUKMING. THANKS GUYS. YOU DAMN GENG LORH. i was actually planning to buy a wallet.....and then POOF, THIS THING CAME TO ME.HAHHHAHAHHAH THANKS A LOT!!!! AND THIS THINGY HERE DAMNNNN LUCKY CUZ IT FOLLOWED ME ALL THE WAY TO KOREA!!!HAHA thanks a lot!!!!!!!

EUNICE!!THANKS FOR CUMIN!!! I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!

CARMEN DARLING!!!! I LOVE YOUUUUU!!!!!!

VIVIAN DEARRR!!! I LVOE YOU TOO!!WAAAHAHAHAHAH

welll...i guess this is it.....there are more pics but i lazy wanna put it all here LOL JUZ GO FB =.=

a memory will stay the way it is forever....sometimes people might say that things changed...but once uve looked at it deeper, u'll realized that things hasnt changed at all...humans are the ones who've changed.....and when you tried looking at it even deeper, maybe they didnt change at all....they were just the same all along..it's just that ure blind not to notice it......